The Psychopath: A True Story(56)

‘I was there with her. You know, I was actually there with her, so in as much shock as the family and anybody else was. It was like “oh my gosh”. Did I expect something? No, absolutely not. I mean it was only after the fact that we found out the background thing, what happened and so on, why she was . . .’

Mischele: ‘Oh, I didn’t get any of that. I only knew about what she had done.’

Will: ‘That’s cold. She had serious problems. Not blaming her family or anything like that but, you know, I know that shouldn’t have a “favourite”, but her sister was definitely the favourite. And she . . .’ [he paused]

Mischele: ‘. . . was a neglected child?’

Will: ‘Yeah, in a very bizarre kind of situation. And it was hard on her. Like I said, it is a sad story. I would have seen that, at least something, wasn’t quite right instead of just seeing “cute girl throwing herself at you” and not really taking it any further than that. And I kick myself for behaving like that. Not because I made it happen but because, yeah, I did that. Especially because she was so much younger. And I think I failed abysmally, and . . .’

Mischele: ‘How old were you then?’

Will: [pause/sighs] ‘Thirty?’

Mischele: ‘Oh, so young. It’s been a long time.’

Will: ‘Oh God, yeah.’

Mischele: ‘I have no idea in terms of time frames of . . . anything.’

Will: ‘And she was about twenty, or something.’

Mischele: ‘So she was young!’

Will: ‘Yeah, that is what made it all so bad . . . Um, and certainly from her perspective she didn’t see anything wrong with what she was doing. She . . . had already kinda been getting chucked out of a situation so it was like, OK, so the storm can come through and nowhere to go so [shrugs]. You know, so . . . but there was more to it than that psychologically, and that is the bit that I just did not [gestures to head] . . .’

Mischele: ‘. . . get?’

Will: ‘I didn’t suspect it. I was totally clueless. I was just self-centred, self-absorbed and self-important.’

He explained how the nanny had been a very vulnerable and psychologically tortured young woman, rejected by her family (whose favourite was her sister). He said he was bowled over by her attentions but felt that he ‘should have seen it’ or at least known something wasn’t quite right, instead of just seeing the ‘cute girl’ throwing herself at him. He admitted to kicking himself for behaving like that (for indulging in an affair, and letting her get caught by his wife and thrown out of his home). But then he regaled Mischele with the details of the nanny’s death.

Will: ‘It was horrible, it really was. That was an awful wake-up call. And of course there is nothing you can do about it. It wasn’t even one of those kinda things that you can say, like, OK, you’ve got help in time. She was actually OK. I mean, you know, they pumped her stomach and whatever . . . but there was nothing to be done. She was dead, she was already a dead girl sitting. It was so cruel to see someone who is literally talking and everything else and sure she will be dead but it just took . . .’

Mischele: ‘. . . time.’

Will: ‘So yeah, it was, it was awful and the only thing I could do was actually, at least, be there. I felt I owed her that. I got lots of crap from her family . . . which again, fair play, from their perspective they had reason to feel. And I am not going to sit there with a girl on her deathbed [and cause trouble] . . . It is easier to take it on the chin and let her last memories be good. Because she never had that.’

Mischele: ‘But in their mind she was . . .’

Will: ‘Yeah yeah, so I mean, it wasn’t the time to try to [defend myself] . . . It would serve no difference.’

Mischele: ‘It would’ve served no point.’

Will: ‘Exactly. All it would do is . . . [gestures] If I could get used to that much, then maybe that was my role. Being able to replay some of the more . . . for . . . it was OK, it really was. But yeah, they went through the whole thing . . . you know. Some rather unpleasant things came out of that, and they found out themselves, everything was not all . . . [air quotes] but at least it didn’t come from me, like I sat there and tried to throw darts . . . It came from the source.’

Mischele: ‘. . . Your wife.’

It was word salad again but the implication was that his wife had caused the problem by kicking the nanny out and then stirred up more trouble by telling the nanny’s family about his affair with her.

I wondered if he was trying to replicate that experience with Jewel, testing and pushing her to see if he could make her commit suicide. If so, I wonder how many others he has done the same to. Maybe he just lost interest or was preoccupied with his father’s situation, who by all accounts was showing signs of dementia.

Jewel struggled on with him, saying all the right things, but his actions were in complete contradiction to his words. In February 2019 she ended the relationship but carried on living with him until June 2019. She thought she needed to keep him involved in the pregnancy and had nowhere else to go. Things did not improve though and she finally moved out.

Jewel got in contact with me in July 2019 and was stunned to find that he had at least thirteen children already. She let me know when she went into labour and her little boy was born on 1 August 2019, my children’s newest little brother (that I know of, anyway).