The Perfect Girlfriend(57)

Nate follows him back into the room. Nate would have a lawyer friend. He has a doctor one, a banker one, a financial adviser one, the list goes on. I’m pissed off. If James only left us alone, in private, I could figure something out.

I wait. I can’t hear voices.

Several more minutes pass, then James walks out, with Nate immediately behind.

‘Righto, goodbye, Elizabeth. I’ll leave you two alone.’

‘Yes, thanks. I’ll call you,’ says Nate.

James raises his arm in a brief wave and lets himself out.

Silence after the door closes. Nate looks happier, and he can’t quite meet my eyes.

‘Shall we go somewhere for a coffee so we can talk properly?’ he suggests.

‘No. I’m fine here, thanks, but I’m exhausted. I didn’t sleep in the bunks. I need a rest, then we can talk as much as you like.’

‘Rest where? Here?’

I shrug, as if to say, ‘Where else?’

‘No. You can’t stay here. You have to leave. I’ll drive you back to yours and we can talk on the way.’

‘I can’t think straight. After keeping me up socializing with your friend, you cannot deny me a short rest. Surely? You can’t have everything your own way.’

‘Everything my own way? This is insane. This is all . . . wrong. I keep expecting to wake up and feel nothing but sheer relief that all this never happened. I should’ve known better. I should’ve known you’d take things too far. This is why it can never work between us. You’re too all or nothing. You don’t know when to stop. You have no off-switch!’

‘I’ll leave you to calm down,’ I say in the same tone of voice he used with me when he wanted me to ‘be reasonable’ about our break-up.

He remains in the living room whilst I wheel my bag and suitcase into our bedroom. I remove my toiletries and have a shower in his en suite. Even though I tie my hair up, so as not to get it wet, I place my shampoo next to his in the shower. Afterwards, I leave my toothbrush where he keeps his. I unpack, putting my clean stuff back into the drawers, their former home. Nate has filled one of them with random things that look like unwanted gifts – a box containing cufflinks, two ties and a sealed pack of department-store boxer shorts. I remove them and put them in ‘his’ drawers.

I didn’t tell Nate that I now have a car, so we drive home together, side by side – a proper couple – in his black Jag. Everything feels so right. In fact, it feels so right, I cannot understand why he continues to fight this. He has feelings for me, I know he does.

‘I’ll set my alarm for an hour,’ I call out. ‘We can order in some food.’

He can think again if he thinks I’ll cook, given his current attitude.

Nate doesn’t reply.

I am tired, that is the truth. I spent the whole ten-and-a-half-hour flight buzzing with a mixture of adrenalin and apprehension.

It is still light. I must have only dropped off for a few minutes.

My mouth is dry. I look to my left. No Nate. I slump back. My limbs ache. I can feel sleep clawing me back into oblivion. Awareness and reality seep back in. I hear familiar sounds: morning creaks and the whining of the shower pump. I’ve been back home a whole night. I force myself up, put on Nate’s gown and wander into the living room.

Outside it is a glorious day. My mind fills with plans. I can make a picnic and we can go and sit by the river. I hear the shower stop. An empty feeling in the pit of my stomach forms as I await Nate’s latest reaction.

I go into the kitchen and switch on the coffee machine. I open the fridge and stare inside, but realize I don’t want anything. I make two coffees. Nate appears, dressed in his running gear.

‘Morning! I’ve made you a coffee,’ I smile.

‘Thank you.’

He accepts it and makes his way to the sofa. I sit next to him. For several seconds, we are silent, both sipping.

‘Why didn’t you come to bed?’

‘Why do you think?’

I don’t answer.

‘I slept in the spare room.’

‘Oh.’

‘I’m going for the annulment under the grounds that I was intoxicated.’

‘I see.’

‘I’d like you to agree so that we can do it together. I don’t want this to get nasty. If we work as a team, it will be relatively straightforward. I’d really like us to stay friends.’

‘Well, that’s a lie. You said that the last time you dumped me. You even deleted me as a Facebook friend. You made no attempt at maintaining a friendship.’

‘For God’s sake, neither did you, from what I recall. I said we could keep in touch, that it didn’t have to be a total clean break. But you wouldn’t have it. It was your way or no way.’

Only because I had no bloody choice.

I’m not stupid. If he didn’t want us to live together, then his feelings weren’t in the right place. I had to play the long game. If I’d hung around accepting crumbs of supposed friendship and, in all likelihood, sporadic sex if he stayed single for long enough, then I’d have had zero chance of getting us back on track. Zero. No one respects anyone who puts up with less than they deserve. It’s exactly why Bella thought she could treat me the way she did. I had to forsake nearly a year of my life to ensure that he would accept me back in the future.