The One That I Want(8)

But our relationship wasn’t all rainbows and unicorns. Paul was hiding something. I was never invited to his apartment. All I knew was it was somewhere close to work and after being shot down for the tenth time, I quit asking about it. He said he wanted to introduce me to his family, but whenever I mentioned it, they were always busy or away on vacation. He took me to every musical showing on Broadway, and all the off-Broadway shows, too. Even some that were off-off-Broadway. And every time, he slept through the majority of the performance, only to wake and clap enthusiastically when it was over, looking like he enjoyed every minute of it. On the way back to my apartment, he would talk about the show and the actors like he’d been paying attention the entire time, or had studied the program for a thesis topic.

He picked me up one Saturday evening and because it was a nice night we walked to the theater. “Are you tired?” I asked as we walked the streets.

“No, babe, I’m wide awake.”

I wondered if tonight’s performance of Cats, and the fresh air, would be enough to keep him awake. It wasn’t. Fifteen minutes into the second act, he was out like a light.

I wondered if he was married with kids and I was his bit on the side. It would explain his secrecy. I imagined living a double life would be tiring. Could I be happy being second to his family? Would he ever leave her for me? And what about the kids? My squirrel brain went into overdrive. What if he was with me because I was just a pathetic, average-looking loser who wouldn’t turn him down, even when I found out his secret? Was I his sure bet? He knew I wouldn’t make a fuss when it came time to end our relationship—I’d been expecting it to end from the beginning.

But the way he looked at me, made love to me... The way he would pull all the cucumber out of his salad and pass it over to me, then steal half of my fries as payment, said different. His eyes when he looked at me and his whispered words against my bare skin after we’d made love, said different.

Until the whole ugly truth came crashing down on top of me.





CHAPTER FIVE




PAUL MET me outside the building on Friday morning. Instead of attacking me in the stairwell, he’d taken to meeting me on the street—then attacking me in the stairwell. I never complained. The difference this time was that he was standing next to an older man. Late fifties, with graying hair around the temples. Tall and lean, he was an honest-to-god silver fox and I couldn’t help but admire him.

Paul gave me a kiss on the cheek as I approached. “Hey, I’d like you to meet someone.” He turned his attention to the fox. “Sir, I’d like you to meet Jason Jennings, my boyfriend. Jase, this is Paul Connor, President of Connor and Markham.”

I shook Mr. Connor’s hand. “It’s a pleasure to meet you, sir.”

“Pleasure’s all mine, Jason. Paul talks nonstop about you and it’s nice to be able to put a face to the name. I hope to see you around more, now that we’ve met.” He turned to Paul. “Son, we have that meeting in fifteen minutes. I’ll meet you upstairs.”

“Yes, sir.”

“It was good to meet you, Jason. I look forward to getting to know you.”

“Likewise, sir.” I answered. I was a little confused, why would the president of one of the nation’s largest marketing companies want to get to know me? I brushed it aside as him being polite.

Paul kissed my cheek again. “He likes you.”

“He doesn’t know me.” I said as we walked toward the stairs.

“Trust me, he knows more than you think.”

“You talk about me to your boss?”

“Yep.” Paul grinned like an idiot and I had a sense I was missing something, but he changed the subject as we climbed the stairs. “I have something extra special planned tonight. There’ll be a cab waiting outside your apartment at nine o’clock, make sure you’re in it.”

“But—”

Paul placed his finger over my lips. “No buts. Just be ready.”

I was left pondering the evening ahead as I made my way to my cubicle. I didn’t have time to dwell as Josie, a fellow cubicle prisoner, came up behind me.

“I can’t believe you’re dating Paul Connor Junior.”

I was stumped. “Uh, I’m not. I’m dating Paul Conway.”

“Nuh uh. I saw you this morning talking to him and his dad. His eyes never left you. God, I wish someone that rich and handsome would look at me like that. I bet he’s just as awesome in bed.”

Paul Connor Junior?

He was Paul Connor Junior. Heir to the marketing empire Connor and Markham. But he called Paul Senior sir; why not just call him Dad? Paul Senior had called him son. I didn’t think anything of it at the time, but now it was all sinking in. Everything started to fit in my squirrel brain. He didn’t want me to know who he was, and I had no idea why. But it didn’t matter. He had lied to me. He lied about who he was. Oh God, maybe he really did have a wife and kids. But why would he call me his boyfriend in front of his father? Nothing was making sense; all I knew was I was going to be sick.

“Jason, you don’t look too good.” Oh God, Josie was still standing beside me, and she was about to witness me go into a meltdown.

“Ugh, no, I’m not... feeling well. I think I should go home. Can you tell Charles I’m not feeling well?” God, I can’t breathe.