The Not-Outcast(58)

Maybe. Maybe not.

“I don’t care about Nut-Brother. I want you to know that.”

“Nut-Broth—you know? I don’t want to know.” He frowned down at me. “But your dad, and Hunter—”

“I’m not like that. I’m not built that way. What happened was kind of shitty, and I thought it was really cool that Deek took me in when he did. My baggage isn’t him, or Natalie, or Chad. I didn’t do anything wrong when I was a kid, but they acted like I was going to rob them blind. I came in from the streets and that’s how they viewed me. Some people have those thoughts and they can’t get rid of them. It’s like fostering a teenager, I’m sure. Some are scared to do it, but I had no control over my life at that age. Only one who didn’t judge me was Hunter, and that’s all I kinda care about. It’d be cool to see Hunter, but we email and I’ll see him more once he’s older. My baggage is just my head.” I tapped my head. “It’s in here. This is enough to deal with. Everything else is cosmetic. Surface shit. It doesn’t matter.”

“Family doesn’t matter?”

“They aren’t family. Sasha. Melanie. Hunter. They’re my family.”

His grin turned crooked, and it was adorable on him. “You simplify things.”

I shrugged, stepping closer because I couldn’t help myself. There was that pull from him again, and I was remembering high school. I was remembering when I first saw him, how I felt it then, too.

“I’m saying this stuff so you don’t take any of it on. Whatever’s between you and Chad, I don’t want you taking on my stuff. I don’t harbor any feelings toward Chad. If I did, it’d be on behalf of Sasha. Me and Chad, there isn’t a me and Chad thing. I’m okay with it.”

“I reserve the right to feel a certain way, just like you said you could feel a certain way on behalf of your girl. It’s the same thing for me.”

I opened my mouth. I was going to say it wasn’t the same thing, but … it was.

It was because he cared about me, and I was really starting to feel that. He’d said it before, but hearing someone cares about you and actually believing someone cares about you are two different things.

A whole warm feeling was spreading through me. It went to my toes and fingers, and I was starting to tingle. “Okay, but I don’t want you to worry about what I’m feeling about him. That make sense?”

He nodded. “It does.” And his hands slid down my sides, rounding to my back, and he pulled me flush up against him. “Since we’re here and we’re alone, wanna stay a bit?”

I’d almost forgotten we were in a nightclub. That said volumes right there.

“Yeah.”

He pulled me over and we sat in the back booth. As if they’d been watching, giving us privacy, a staff member came in then to check on us. She brought us waters. As soon as she left, he lifted me up so I was on his lap.

We sat like that, not talking.

There weren’t words for how good this felt.

I wasn’t just stepping inside from the cold here. I was inside and there was a fire, and I was getting handed hot chocolate with marshmallows. It was that kind of feeling, and sometime later, I relaxed so much against him that he was cradling me in his arms. My back was to his chest. I was watching the play of lights on the ceiling, and my legs had fallen to the side of his.

I felt like I was in a trance, like where you inhale happiness and contentment, and it filled you up from the inside out. I was so calm that I was breathing out peace and tranquility. It was a trip, the whole thing, and I knew then that I was fucked.

I just didn’t have it in me to care.





*



From: Koala Boy

To: Cheychey

Subject: I broke up with Monica.





From: Cheychey

To: Koala Boy

Subject: Need me to hurt her? I know a Herb who has a vicious dog.





From: Koala Boy

To: Cheychey

Subject: You’re joking, right?





From: Cheychey

To: Koala Boy

Subject: Dude.





27





Cut





Two days later, I was leaving the locker room when Cassie popped out from the PT room. “Margo wants to see you.”

I frowned. Margo was the Mustangs’ owner, one of them. She and her husband owned the team together, but Marcus was usually off doing business around the world. Margo stayed put to oversee the team, or just be on hand. She was involved with the program every day, and she never called me to her office.

“You know what about?”

She shook her head, her ponytail swishing from side to side.

I shrugged, taking my bag with me in the opposite direction.

As I passed her, Cassie shifted. Her hand came up to rest against the doorframe and she asked, “Hey, uh…”

I paused.

“Did you have fun the other night? At Bresko’s?”

It’d been a game changer for Cheyenne and me. I took her home, and she took my hand, leading me to bed with her. We slept and cuddled, but it felt good to wake up with her next to me. Last night was a repeat. I knew we needed to have a conversation about the change, but it was like she came to a different decision. She was letting me in. I was somewhat going with the flow, uneasy to upset the balance either way.