The Not-Outcast(56)

Cary nodded immediately. She knew what I was saying. The only other ‘friend’ I had was Chad. If the other players came, they came in on their own celebrity. Chad was given special treatment because of me. Cheyenne would now receive special treatment as well.

“I’ll leave you two here then.”

Cary gave us both a smile and a wave as she headed down a hallway toward her office. Her hand was already up in her ear, and she was sending the notice about Cheyenne to the rest of the staff.

Since we were alone, I pulled Cheyenne to the side and squeezed her hand. “You doing okay?”

A look of wonder was on her face as she looked up at me. Her eyes were a little dilated. “It’s never been like this for me.”

“Like what?”

She went back to looking around, though everything in the hallway was dark except a trail of lights on the floor by the walls. It was similar to a movie theater feel.

“I’ve gone to Bresko’s before, but there’s always this grating feeling. It’s in the background, and if my walls are thin, I can’t stay long. Or I needed something to dull the edges, but tonight it’s different. It’s all different. I actually feel like I might enjoy being here tonight rather than just getting through it, you know?”

I winced on the inside. I didn’t, but I was glad I was the reason for it.

I was starting to think that I’d never understand what she goes through.

A whole surge of needing to protect her, care for her, swelled up in me. I cupped the side of her face, tilting her up to look at me. “What can I do to help you?”

Her hand went to my chest and pressed there. “You already are. You’re being you.”

I had no idea what that meant, but I’d go with it. I gave her a small smile, my thumb running by her mouth. “I’d like to take you home after this.”

Her eyes caught and held mine.

We’d go in there. Her friends were in there. They’d sweep her up. I was realizing that’s the inclination you got when you knew Cheyenne, and when you cared for Cheyenne. It was just her, but I wanted this night. With her. There was a feeling in me, like I’d only get tonight, or like this night was different and I needed to take advantage of it as much as possible. Whatever it was, I couldn’t let go.

She nodded. “I’d like that, too.”

A small bit of tension eased in my chest, so I dropped my hand back to hers, laced our fingers, and headed forward.





26





Cheyenne





The calmness I felt standing in that hallway with Cut was gone the second we entered his private box.

I heard the yelling, then a wave of everything else hit me. And it hit me hard. The smells of the club rose up swiftly. The techno music, the hard bass, the neon lights flashing flooded me. Sweat. Grime. Beer. Perfume. Cologne. And other smells that I didn’t want to identify. It was jarring, and I sucked in my breath, remembering to fortify my walls.

It was a whole imagery-coping mechanism I learned. Sometimes it helped, other times it didn’t.

I took a moment, imagining all the music in a bubble, then I moved it aside. I did the same with the smells. After that I could focus a bit better. Sasha’s voice carried to me, along with Melanie’s and Cassie’s. The last two were sitting on one side of the box, giggling and wrapped around each other. I looked around, and Sasha and Chad were on the other side. Sasha was standing, arms crossed, head tilted up and away from Chad.

My Not-Brother was standing in front of her, his arms out and his head down. He was speaking to her.

“Come on, Sasha. Be reasonable.”

I sucked my breath in at that one. Not the right words to use with Sasha.

Melanie’s head lifted, her laugh fading, but then she saw me, and her smile came back. “Shy!” She was up and heading for me when Sasha heard and turned, too.

I stepped free from Cut, and the three of us merged in the middle. We’d done this so many times. Our arms came up around each other, our foreheads next to each other, and we formed our own huddle.

“Hey.” Me.

“Heya.” Sasha.

“Holla.” Melanie.

And squeeze. We all moved in, closer together. That was just the greeting.

“Sash,” from me. “What do you need?”

“You came with Cut?” Her eyes were big, ignoring my question.

Melanie’s grin turned secretive. “I already knew.”

“And you didn’t tell me?”

“You were fighting with Not-Brother. I wasn’t going to interrupt that.”

“Nice. I could’ve used the distraction.”

I told them what Maisie called Chad.

Melanie’s smile was almost off her face. “I want to meet this woman and I want to kiss her feet. Not literally, though. The feet. I’d like to meet her.”

I asked Sasha, “Distraction enough?”

She closed her eyes, a soft smile there and she nodded. “Yes. Thank you.”

Melanie snorted. “Nut-Brother. That’s awesome.”

Sasha released us and pressed into her forehead, rubbing her temples. “He makes me so crazy.” She dropped her hands, found her place around our shoulders again and said to me, “We’re on and off, and I haven’t said anything because every time, I swear, every time I promise myself that I won’t let him in. And then he calls or texts and he’s all nice and charming, and the next hour I’m pretending to do Juna’s ankle-slide move on him.”