The Mersey Daughter (Empire Street #3)(44)
Danny thought he caught Sykes muttering, ‘Highly irregular.’ But he didn’t care. He was going to be part of the armed forces after all, and in an elite position. Even more surprising, he’d been secretly selected. He almost laughed. If his headmaster could have seen him now …
‘I say yes, sir,’ he said, and shook Stephens’ offered hand. ‘Yes, with all my heart.’
CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
‘We’re making a habit of this,’ Jack laughed, as Pop’s cart made its way along the road to Freshfield. He held tightly to the reins, but would have preferred to have his arms around Rita. Still, she was snuggled up beside him on the narrow front seat – there wasn’t much room for two, but he wasn’t going to complain if it brought the woman he loved close to his side.
‘I wish we were, all right,’ Rita said wistfully. The countryside was opening out and was green and lush in the first burst of summer. ‘It was more than six months ago we brought the children to the farm, can you believe it? But they’re so happy there – well, you’ll soon see for yourself.’
Jack nodded. ‘I know you torment yourself about it all the time, Rita, and you miss them, but it’s the right place for them.’
Rita turned to face him, her eyes shining. ‘It’s hard to explain, Jack. Even though I know what you say is true, there’s not a day goes by without me feeling I’m missing a limb. They’re such a part of me. Everything I do is for them. I hate for them to be away from me. I know it isn’t far really, and compared to what some families are going through, it’s nothing at all, but to be separated is agony.’
Jack shut his eyes briefly and then focused on the road ahead, which was slowly narrowing to a lane. ‘I understand, Rita, I honestly do. I know what it’s like to miss someone, to want to be with them every minute of the day and night, but to know it’s impossible.’ He paused. ‘That’s how I feel about you, Rita. What keeps me going is the thought that one day we could be together.’
Rita gave a little gasp. It was as if he was voicing her own innermost desires. ‘And I feel like that too, Jack. It would mean more than anything in the world to me, but we’d be foolish to even think about it. You’re a free agent but I’m not – I’m still shackled to Charlie whether we like it or not, and there’s nothing we can do about it.’ She tossed her hair, which she’d tied back for the journey. ‘I wish things were different, but they’re not.’ Her heart was heavy with regret. But for a moment of chance, she’d have married Jack instead, and they’d be together with their son.
Jack wondered if this was the right time to bring up something that had been on his mind for some while. He knew she might not like it, but he’d never get a better time. If she got upset there was no one to see, and there was nobody around to hear. ‘Rita, listen,’ he began. ‘The fact is, Charlie has deserted you. Not only is he a deserter for failing to enlist when he got his call-up papers, he’s left you and taken up with another woman. So what right has he got over you?’
‘He’s still my husband, Jack,’ Rita pointed out. ‘Whatever he’s done, wherever he is, he’s still my legal husband. I don’t love him, I realise now I never really did, but I tried so hard to make it work, and now he’s upped sticks and gone off with that Elsie Lowe. Yet we’re still married. I can’t change that.’
‘There might be a way, Rita.’ Jack gathered his courage to make his suggestion. ‘You could get a divorce.’
Rita sat bolt upright and stared at him. ‘What are you saying, Jack? A divorce? But that’s impossible. Marriage is for life, you know that.’ She got out her handkerchief and twisted it in her hands, hardly knowing she was doing it. ‘We married in sight of the Lord and that’s all there is to it. That can’t be ended with a divorce. Anyway, you know that divorce isn’t for the likes of us. It would be shameful, and my family would be shamed along with me. Think of what that would do to the children. No, I can’t even imagine such a thing.’
Jack swallowed guiltily, recognising that she had a point. He ought to have guessed – Rita had never been one to run away from anything, however difficult. ‘Please, Rita, don’t upset yourself,’ he said, switching the reins to one hand for a moment and gently touching her fingers. ‘I didn’t mean to distress you. But think, Rita. Times are changing. This war is going to make it all different, you see if it doesn’t. The likes of you and me are going to be able to do all sorts of things we didn’t think were possible. Charlie has deserted you and he never deserved you to start with – the world is becoming a different place and people like Charlie can’t get away with things like they used to. We can do something about it – together. I’d never let you down when you needed me.’
Rita hesitated before replying, and tried to keep her voice steady. ‘I know you wouldn’t, Jack, and I am grateful, really I am. But it doesn’t change anything. I might not get to church as often as I used to, what with all the different shifts and being too tired to stand let alone get down the road to Mass, but it doesn’t alter how I was raised – and you too. Marriage can’t be set aside so lightly. Whatever we might want doesn’t alter that.’
Jack sighed. ‘I was afraid you’d say that. But I had to bring it up, you see that, don’t you? I want you to be free, I want for us to make a life together. We have to have hope.’