The Merry Spinster: Tales of Everyday Horror(37)

“Go on home to Toad Hall?” asked Mole, quite excited. “What are you talking of? Do you mean to say you haven’t heard?”

“Heard what?” asked Toad, turning over to face him. “Go on, dearest! Quick, don’t spare me—what haven’t I heard?”

Just then there came a knock at the door, and Mole jumped up to answer it. “Hello, Rat,” he said (for it was Rat at the door). “Have you come here to tell Toad the bad news?”

“Hello, Mole,” said Rat, very politely. “I thought you were out.”

“Hello, Rat,” Mole said again. “I don’t believe that I am. I thought it was you who was out.”

“As you like it, I’m sure,” Rat said. “Won’t you invite me in?”

“As you like it, I’m sure,” Mole said, and stepped aside to make room for Rat, who immediately went into the kitchen and began boiling the water for tea.

“Rat,” Mole said after a moment. “I have absolutely terrible news for Toad.”

“Terrible news?”

“Just terrible news.”

“I’m very sorry to hear that.”

“I thought you’d be sorry to hear that, Rat,” Mole said. “You’re always very sympathetic.”

“Is it the terrible news about his home?” Rat asked. “The terrible news about Toad Hall?”

“The very same terrible news,” Mole said. “The very exact same terrible news about his home, Toad Hall.”

“Oh, dear,” Rat said, pouring two cups of tea, one for Mole and one for himself.

“Oh, dear,” Mole said. “No sugar in mine, thanks.”

Toad lifted himself up so he could see what was going on in the kitchen. “What has happened to Toad Hall?”

“I think it’s very sad, what happened to Toad Hall,” Mole said to Rat. “Won’t you come and sit by the fire while we have our tea?”

“Thank you,” Rat said, and the two of them took their tea back into the parlor where Toad was half twisted up from his pallet on the floor.

“I think it’s very sad that our friend Toad doesn’t have a house,” Rat said. “I have a house, and you have a house, and Badger has a little house, too. Even Otter has a house of sorts. I think it is very sad that Toad is the only one who hasn’t even the least little bit of a house.”

“He used to have a house,” Mole said. “A very fine one too, was Toad Hall.”

“Will someone please tell me what has happened to Toad Hall,” Toad said desperately.

“Oh,” said Mole, “you haven’t heard what’s happened to Toad Hall? Well, it was a good deal talked about down here, naturally—not only along the riverbanks, but even in the Wild Woods.”

“Very strange, your not hearing of it,” Rat said, “how They went and took Toad Hall, while you’ve been so sick lately.”

“They made arrangements, while you were ill,” Mole said. “They said anyone as sick in the head as you have been was not likely to return home anytime soon—and you must admit They had a point, for you have been distressing us all terribly with your behavior lately—and They decided They had better move Their things into Toad Hall, and sleep there, and make sure everything was ready for you when you turned up, if you ever turned up.”

Toad only nodded.

“If you ever turn up,” Rat said, “I expect They will still be there waiting for you. Some of Them came in through the carriage drive, and some of Them came in through the kitchens and the gardens, and some of Them came in through the French windows that open onto the lawn, and I expect all of Them are still there waiting for you.”

“People took sides about it,” Mole said, “naturally. I think it was a terrible shame, no matter what people say about you, no matter how often folks said you were never coming back.”

“Never, never, never coming back,” Rat agreed. “This is excellent tea, Mole.”

“Thank yourself,” Mole said. “You made it.”

“So I did,” Rat said, taking another sip.

“But we knew you would be back to your old self in no time,” Mole said to Toad after a few minutes’ silence, “and that you would be eager to go back to Toad Hall and clear Them out, even if no one else went with you, and you had to creep back all by yourself in the darkness to whatever met you behind your own front doors.”

“We knew,” Rat agreed. “We knew you’d as good as promised to go back and clear Them out.”

“But he hasn’t gone back and cleared Them out, has he, Rat?” Mole asked.

“No, Mole,” Rat said slowly, “come to think of it, he hasn’t. Toad hasn’t kept his promise at all. Why do you suppose that is?” And he turned to ask him, but Toad was nowhere to be seen. “Toad,” Rat said. “Where have you got to, and why haven’t you kept your promise?”

Mole jerked his head toward the kitchen. “Toad is hiding among the pots and pans,” he said. “I expect he is hiding because he is so ashamed of being a coward.”

“Toad,” Rat called, “are you hiding among the pots and pans?”

“Toad,” Mole said, “why would you rather be with the pots and pans than with your friends? Come out and have a visit with us.”