The Loneliest Girl in the Universe(39)

I try to stay busy for the next five hours, but I keep finding myself daydreaming, gazing off into space and imagining what J might sound like. When I read his emails, I’ve always just heard Jayden’s voice in my head.

I decide to take my shower a few days early. I know J won’t be able to see me, but I want to feel clean. I want to feel ready. I need something to boost my confidence.

By seven o’clock, I’m so nervous and excited that my hands are trembling. I sit at the helm, staring expectantly at the screen.

As soon as the words INCOMING CALL appear, I panic. What do I say? Do I even remember how to speak? I can’t remember the last time I spoke aloud.

I swallow back my fear and reach out to click ACCEPT.

The ringing stops, and there’s a moment of silence.

“Hello?” a deep voice says, testing.

I close my eyes and picture Jayden: dark curls and sparkling eyes with lines around them from smiling.

“J,” I say, ever so softly.

After a delay of twenty seconds – enough time for me to gather my thoughts but less time than I was expecting, considering the distance – I receive a reply. “Romy?”

I pull in a tight inhale. “I’m here.”

My mind fuzzes while I wait for his response. I can’t focus on anything but the timer on the screen, counting the seconds since our call started. It’s hard to believe this is really happening.

“Romy. It’s so damn good to hear your voice.”

My breath catches in my throat. “Y–you too.”

His voice is stronger than I expected. I was imagining soft, gentle, emotional – like his emails. But the voice in my head was Jayden’s. It was never going to be accurate.

“I don’t know what to say to you,” I admit, after a pause when neither of us speak, just breathe together. I can’t tell if it’s an awkward silence. Have we been messaging for so long that it’s not possible for it to be uncomfortable? I don’t know.

“Me neither,” J replies. “I had all these things I was going to say, but my mind’s gone blank.”

I clear my throat. I feel hot. I made his mind go blank. Me. “How are you?”

“Well, Romy, right now I’m just desperate for the ships to join up. To see you in person.”

“Me too.” I say it quietly, almost scared to let him hear something which to me feels so big, so completely life-changing.

But J just glides over it, like we’re both on the same page, like it’s obvious. “I think next week we’ll be able to have video feeds too.”

I close my eyes again, almost dizzy at the thought of seeing and hearing J at the same time. This is almost too much as it is.

“I wish time could go faster,” I say.

“I know. Is it strange to know that I’m coming? I’ve never asked before. I can’t tell how you feel. Maybe you hate the idea.”

“Not at all.”

He lets out a gust of breath. “Good.”

“Do you know when you’ll be arriving yet?” I want to work out the exact number of hours, minutes and seconds until he’s here. “Are you still on schedule to arrive on the twenty-fifth of February?” That’s the date in the mission timeline that Molly sent me, nearly a year ago.

He grunts. “Yes.” There’s an awkward pause, then he says, “Listen, the computer is telling me that I have to go. I think we’re still too far apart for long conversations.”

“OK,” I say, disappointed that this was over so fast, and relieved that I’ll have time to process this new communication method before we talk any more. “Can we— Are we allowed to talk again? Maybe tomorrow? At the same time?”

“Yes. Definitely. I’d love that. Goodnight, Romy.”

“Goodnight, J.”

After we end the chat, I stare up at the ceiling, beaming so widely that my face might crack in half. I spoke to J, and it was nothing like I’d imagined, and everything I’ve ever wanted. He’s so perfect. He’s so real. I can’t wait to meet him.





DAYS UNTIL THE ETERNITY ARRIVES:


81


The next morning, all I can think about is talking to J again. We arranged to speak tonight, but that’s hours away and I can’t wait that long. I want to call him now.

I open up the audio communication program, hoping it won’t take too long to learn how to initiate a transmission. On the main menu is the option to scan for transmitters within range of the ship. I start the search, chewing on my nails. By now, they’re short stubs, torn away at the skin.

The Eternity pops up in the Contacts list, followed by a series of numbers – the International Celestial Reference Frame coordinates of the ship, probably, showing its position in space.


Available Contacts (1)

The Eternity [ICRFJ002133.9+472421] IM · Dial · Block




Reference coordinates aren’t usually included in the communications software I use. I wonder how far away The Eternity is now – will the time lag be noticeably shorter today? On a map, how far apart would our ships look?

I wonder if there’s a way to combine the communications software that J sent me with The Infinity’s guidance system. If I have the coordinates, there must be a way to display The Eternity’s location visibly. If I can set up a map, I could leave it running in the corner of the screen, and watch our ships get closer together until they finally meet and join as one. It would be so exciting to watch it.