The Library of Fates(60)

“This is where the whole world is recorded by the Earth. Every day is replayed here. Every birth, every death, every peal of laughter, every moment of despair,” she said, and I watched as one of the murals morphed into an image of me sleeping in the caves.

“What if Sikander finds this?”

Kalyani laughed. “Sikander might find these caves, but he’ll never learn of this operation. It’ll continue long after we’re gone, but it’ll be hidden from him. He can’t see it. Neither can your friend. But you can see it, can’t you?

I nodded, unable to take my eyes off the rock face.

“You see, there’s a reason you came here. A reason that was hidden from you. We were told that when Maya returns, we could leave.”

“Leave the caves?”

“Leave the Earth.”

I balked, remembering Thala’s words the day before. “How will you do that?”

“Makara is the gateway to all places. He’ll take us wherever we’re supposed to go next.”

I looked back at her, dumbfounded.

“You don’t remember any of it, do you? The past, that other life? The Land of Trees, the Keeper of the Library?”

I shook my head. “It doesn’t feel any more like my life than anyone else’s.”

Kalyani nodded. “We believe that there’s a reason our minds forget the past. Do you know why we came here? Why we needed to be far from the rest of the world? Secluded, as you called it?”

I shook my head again.

“We came here to hone our abilities. We came because we knew how to speak to the Earth, to the sky, to the mountains, the desert, the rain. But our leader, Maya, was far more skilled at communicating with the Earth than anyone who has ever lived. We carried on practicing her gift, keeping it alive, like a language that could go extinct at any moment. It took a village of people to do that. Do you know anyone outside of the Janaka Caves who knows how to do that—how to speak with the Earth?” She looked at me pointedly.

All of a sudden, I was afraid of what Kalyani was saying. I thought about our experience in the desert. Of the silver tree in the forest that had somehow let down its shield when I had asked for its help. She wanted me to admit that I had such powers. That I had abilities.

But if I was so powerful, why hadn’t I been able to save my father? Why couldn’t I have conjured up a storm that destroyed all of Sikander’s army? Why couldn’t I have willed the ocean to swallow up the men who had invaded the palace? If I had true powers, there was so much I should have been able to do, I should have done already.

She must have read my mind, because she turned to me then and said, “We forget our past in order to begin again. And there are things we must lose in order for us to gain anything.”

“So you’re saying that I had to lose my father?”

She shook her head, compassion in her eyes. “All I’m saying is that we had to give up certain earthly pleasures in order to preserve what we thought was important. We lost the forest of our beloved trees. We lost Maya because she was mortal. We lost our connection to the rest of the world. We had to forget our past in order to preserve the language of speaking with the Earth. But now that you’re here, we can go. And you can teach others what you know.”

But I couldn’t shake my fear. “What if everyone is wrong about me? If I’m so powerful, why am I so afraid?”

“Fear is actually the strongest evidence of our powers, the threshold we need to cross in order to reclaim them. All I know is that it’s time for you to reclaim your powers, and it’s time for us to begin a new adventure.”

“I don’t even understand where you’ll go,” I said to her.

Kalyani jerked her chin toward the wall before me. I followed her gaze. It was a mural of a starry sky. I could see purple galaxies, silver constellations twisting in whorls.

All around the cave, the Sybillines looked out into that magnificent vault of blue and cheered as though they had anticipated this moment their whole lives.

“Where is that?”

She shook her head and smiled. “I don’t know.”

“You’re not afraid?”

Kalyani shook her head. “I’ve had a lot of time to untangle my own fears.”

“I wish I were like you,” I told her. “I’m afraid of everything.”

“Kalyani?” a frantic voice called out for her as Tamas ran up the ledge. “We have a problem. I took my eyes off her for just a second and now she’s—”

Before he even finished speaking, I felt a cold stab of panic in my lungs as I ran out of the cave and down the spiral path, looking for Thala, the conversation we had the night before replaying itself in my ears. She had expressed her fear to me, and I had done nothing about it.

She was lying next to the lagoon, her vacant eyes looking up at the sky.

“Thala?” I cried, shaking her.

“Step aside, please.” Kalyani was already behind me, blending a mixture of herbs into a small mortar made of lava.

“Will she be all right?” I asked.

Kalyani’s face didn’t give anything away as she glanced down at the concoction in her hands.

Thala closed her eyes. She opened them, and they were a dark burgundy, so bright that I stumbled backward, startled at the sight of them.