The Kill Society (Sandman Slim)(72)

“It was a long walk to the gas station.”

“I’m not even going to ask about that. Did you see Death?”

“Yeah.”

“And?”

“Everything is going to be all right.”

She grabs me and drags me to Vehuel, who seems a little put off by my current caked-in-filth look.

“He says that Death is on our side,” says Alice.

The boss angel looks at me.

“Is that true?”

“I saw him like a half hour ago. Everything is going to be fine.”

Vehuel frowns.

“I’m surprised. That doesn’t sound like Death.”

“Hey, if you want to go out there and eat stale donuts and sit in the fucking dirt for a week, be my guest. I’m telling you what he said and if you don’t like it—”

Alice pats me on the back.

“Okay, tiger, ease off the throttle a little.”

Vehuel is standing very tall, very upright. I don’t think people talk to her like that too often. But I’m a gentleman. I know what to do.

I take out the golden blade and hold it out to her.

“Here. Why don’t you have this back?”

She looks at me like she’s waiting for a punch line or a trick. When she doesn’t get either she takes the blade.

“Thank you. A number of angels will rest easier tonight,” she says in a low melodious voice.

That wasn’t the nicest way anyone ever said “fuck you” to me, but it sounded the prettiest.

“Did I miss anything while I was gone?”

“Lots,” says Alice. “Do you want the good news or the bad news first?”

“Good.”

“Lots more people ran away. Some into the tunnels, others went upstream.”

“That’s good? What the hell is the bad?”

“The ship with all the trucks and cars sank.”

Being dead just keeps getting better and better.



Frederickson says, “Look what the cat dragged in.”

“Mr. Leisure Time,” says Johnny. “Have a nice walkabout, did you?”

“I did. The donuts were great. I would have brought you back one but, you know, fuck you.”

Barbora, Frederickson, and Billy surround Johnny with the other assholes I never really got to know behind them. Daja, Wanuri, Doris, and Gisco are a few feet away. I get the distinct impression that while I was gone the dog pack split into the kind of factions that aren’t ever going to kiss and make up, even if they’re supposed to be on the same crusade. Great. Another bunch I don’t want getting behind me.

I go to where Daja and her group are bunched up.

“Where’s the Magistrate? I have some news for him.”

“Good news?” she says.

“He should be happy.”

“You saw him, then?” says Wanuri. “You saw Death?”

“That’s why I went out there.”

She cocks her head, more than a little skeptical.

“What does Death look like?”

“He’s not a creep with a robe and a scythe scaring little kids on Halloween, if that’s what you mean.”

“Then what does he look like?”

“Picture the handsomest guy in the world. Now put him in the most expensive suit you can imagine. Now put a lot of dirt and scratches on his shoes.”

“Death wears shitty shoes?”

“No. They’re really nice. Probably custom. But we met at a gas station in the Tenebrae and they got kind of fucked up.”

Wanuri shakes her head.

“I think nothing happened out there and you’re pulling all of our legs, Mr. Pitts.”

“Yeah? If he wasn’t there, where did I get this?”

I’m not about to show them the amber knife, so I hand her the lighter.

“He said it’s Tournaire Red Ligne made by P. T. Barnum or someone.”

Doris looks over Wanuri’s shoulder.

She says, “Did you mean S. T. Dupont?”

“Yeah. That’s it. How did you know?”

“My husband’s dear departed father, Jeremiah, had a Dupont.”

Wanuri gives it to her. Doris looks it over carefully.

“It’s a bit dirty.”

“I dropped it.”

“Of course you did.”

“Death said it was expensive.”

“I’ve seen other Duponts similar to it. Jeremiah’s cost twenty thousand dollars.”

“You’re not serious,” says Daja.

“Completely. He tried to bribe me with it. Wouldn’t shut up about the damned thing. I cut his head off to shut him up.”

Maybe I should let her keep the lighter.

I say, “Knife or ax?”

She looks at me.

“On Jeremiah? Lord, he was huge. It’s always hardest getting through the spine. I had to use Grandpapa’s old ax in the garden shed.”

“I’ve taken a couple of heads myself. I know what you mean about spines.”

“Thank you. Most people just don’t understand the amount of work involved.”

Wanuri gives me a look and cuts in. “Were you rich, Doris?”

“Obscenely,” Doris says. She smiles. “That’s why there was a garden big enough to do my special planting.”