The Japanese Lover(44)

“You could have chosen something better than this, Alma.”

“I don’t need anything more. The only thing I miss is an open fire in winter. I love to watch a fire burning, it’s like the endless swell of the sea.”

“I know a widow who has spent the last six years on cruises. As soon as the ship docks at its final destination, her family presents her with the ticket for the next round-the-world trip.”

“I wonder why my son and daughter-in-law have never thought of that?” laughed Alma.

“The advantage is that if you die at sea, the captain throws your body overboard and your family doesn’t have to pay for the funeral,” Lenny added.

“I’m fine here, Lenny. I’m discovering who I am without all my ornaments and accessories. It’s quite a slow process, but a very useful one. Everybody ought to do the same at the end of their life. If I had any self-discipline I would beat my grandson to it and write my own memoirs. I have time, freedom, and silence, the three things I never had amidst all the noise of my earlier life. I’m preparing to die.”

“That won’t be for a long while yet, Alma. You look splendid.”

“Thank you. It must be love.”

“Love?”

“Let’s just say there is someone. You know who I’m talking about: Ichimei.”

“Incredible! How many years have you been together?”

“Let’s see, I’ll count it up . . . I’ve loved him since we were both about eight years old, but we’ve been lovers for fifty-eight years, since 1955, although there have been long gaps.”

“Why did you marry Nathaniel?”

“Because he wanted to protect me, and at that moment I needed his protection. Remember how noble he was. Nat helped me accept the fact that there are some things that are more powerful than my own will, things that are even stronger than love.”

“I’d like to meet Ichimei, Alma. Tell me when he comes to visit you.”

“Our relationship is still a secret,” she replied, blushing.

“Why? Your family would understand.”

“It’s not because of the Belascos, but Ichimei’s family. Out of respect for his wife, children, and grandchildren.”

“After so many years, his wife must know, Alma.”

“She’s never given any indication of it. I don’t want to hurt her; Ichimei would never forgive me. Besides, it has its advantages.”

“Which are?”

“For a start, we’ve never had to struggle with domestic problems like children, money, and all the other things couples have to deal with. We get together to make love. Besides, Lenny, a clandestine relationship has to be defended: it’s fragile and precious. You should know that better than anyone.”

“We were both born half a century too late, Alma. We’re experts in forbidden love.”

“Ichimei and I had a chance when we were young, but I didn’t have the courage. I was unable to give up on my security, and so I was trapped in convention. That was back in the fifties, when the world was very different. Do you remember?”

“How could I forget? A relationship like yours was almost impossible; you would have regretted it, Alma. Prejudice would have destroyed you both in the end, and killed your love.”

“Ichimei knew that, and never asked me to do it.”

After a long pause while the pair sat contemplating the hummingbirds eagerly hovering over a fuchsia bush, and while Irina was deliberately taking her time over drying Sophia with a towel and then brushing her, Lenny told Alma how sorry he was they had not seen each other for almost three decades.

“I knew you were living at Lark House. It’s a coincidence that forces me to believe in fate, Alma, because I put my name on the waiting list years ago, a long time before you arrived. I kept postponing the decision to come and visit you, because I didn’t want to stir up dead memories,” he said.

“They’re not dead, Lenny. They’re more alive now than ever. That’s what happens with age: stories from the past come alive and stick to our skin. I’m so pleased we’re going to spend the next few years together.”

“It will only be six months, Alma. I have an inoperable brain tumor. I don’t have much time left before the worst symptoms begin.”

“My God, I’m so sorry, Lenny!”

“Why? I’ve lived enough, Alma. I could go on for a little longer with aggressive treatment, but there’s no point putting myself through that. I’m a coward, pain scares me.”

“I’m surprised they accepted you at Lark House.”

“Nobody knows what I have, and there’s no reason they should, because I won’t take up a place for long. I’m going to put an end to myself when my condition starts to worsen.”

“How will you know?”

“For now I have headaches, I feel weak and clumsy in my movements. I no longer dare ride a bicycle, which used to be my life’s passion, because I’ve fallen off several times. Do you know I’ve crossed the United States on a bike from the Pacific to the Atlantic three times? I intend to enjoy the time I have left. Soon I’ll be vomiting, find it hard to walk and speak, my eyesight will fail, the convulsions will start . . . But I won’t wait that long. I have to act while my mind still functions.”