The Friendship List(89)

She pushed away from him. “Don’t lie to me.”

“Lissa, you know I love you.”

“For now. But what happens in a year? What happens if I stay past my expiration date? Are you going to throw me out, like spoiled milk?”

Was it him or was she talking crazy? “You’re not making any sense. This is your home.” There was something more, he thought grimly, but God help him, he had no idea what it was.

“And then I graduate and then we have the great college countdown. With any luck I’ll go so far away, I’ll never be able to come back. That’s what you want. I’m surprised you’re not looking at colleges in Australia. Then you’d never have to see me.”

He got it then. Finally. He took in the hurt in her big eyes, her protective stance, the way she never wanted to discuss college, how she’d talked to Ellen about not having any idea about a major. He combined that with her mother’s increasing distance and the real fear many teens had about leaving the relative safety of high school to step out into the unknown.

He reached for her again. She sidestepped him, but he had moves and it took only a second to capture her. Keeping a hold of her, he sat on her bed and pulled her onto his lap, just like he had when she’d been little.

“Stop it!” she demanded, struggling to get away.

“No.” He held her firmly, forcing her head against his chest. “Lissa, you’re the best thing I’ve ever made.”

“That’s disgusting. You ejaculated. Big whoop.”

He knew she was trying to shock him into letting her go, but he continued to hang on tight.

“I love you so much. If you don’t want to go away to college, that’s fine with me. Stay here. Go to community college. Live in your bedroom forever. I don’t want you gone, little girl. I know one day you’ll want to get married and have kids, but we could make this house work. Build an annex or something. It would be fun.”

Some of the tension left her body. This time when she pushed away, he let her go. She slid onto the bed and stared at him.

“You don’t care if I don’t go away to college?”

The wariness in her tone cut him to the heart. “Not if that isn’t what you want. We always talked about it, so I assumed you were still interested. But if you’ve changed your mind, I’m down with that.”

She winced. “Please don’t say ‘down with that.’ We’ve talked about your attempts to fit in with teenagers. It’s very sad.” But she was smiling as she spoke.

“Do you want to stay here after you graduate from high school and go to community college?” he asked.

She sucked in a breath and then nodded.

“You’re sure?”

Another nod. Her gaze met his. “I’m not ready for a four-year school. I don’t know what I want to study and the idea of the quote, unquote, college experience scares me. I need time to figure things out.”

“Can I use half your college fund to buy a real expensive sports car?”

“You’re impossible.”

“I know. But still, you’re stuck with me.” He studied her. “I love you and I’m totally fine with you going to community college. But you have to do something for me, too.”

She crossed her arms over her chest. “I’m not going to like what it is, am I?”

“Probably not. I want you to see a counselor.”

“What?” She scrambled off the bed. “Dad, I’m fine.”

“You’re not fine. You’re dealing with a ton of crap and I should have seen that sooner. Just the stuff with your mom is probably enough to keep you in therapy for a couple of years, but let’s agree that you see someone for the next three months. If it’s helping, you can continue. If it’s not, you can stop. But you have to put in the effort first.”

He thought she would push back, but she surprised him by sighing heavily and then saying, “It’s probably a good idea. I don’t want to end up being a forty-year-old woman with mother issues.”

“I wouldn’t like that either.”

She flung her arms around him. “You’re a really good dad.”

“Thank you. Now explain to me about how the hell you ended up sleeping with Luka. And when you’re done with that, convince me not to kill him, because that’s next on my agenda.”

She flopped back on the bed. “Dramatic much? You’re not going to kill anyone. You don’t have the temperament.”

“Want to bet? You’re my daughter and he defiled you.”

She sat up. “Dad, seriously? Defiled? It’s not the fourteenth century.”

“It’s close enough and the word works. What happened?”

“Sometimes Mommy and Daddy share a special kiss and then a baby is—” She looked at him. “Not funny?”

“Am I laughing?”

She muttered something under her breath. “Fine. Luka and I have kind of been eyeing each other for a while. But when he wouldn’t ask me out, I figured he wasn’t really interested. On the bus trip, that changed.”

“How?”

“You really want the details?”

“Every one of them.” Knowing what had happened would help him decide how he was going to kill the kid.