The Friendship List(52)

“It’s suspicious.”

“How can you say that? Ellen and I love you. It’s just an open house,” Dagmar added gently. “Come look. If nothing else, you can brag about it to Ellen.”

Unity didn’t want to think about moving. She loved living in Stuart’s house, sleeping in his bed, having her clothes hang in the same closet as his still did. She often pretended he wasn’t dead—that he was just gone, like on a deployment, and soon he would be back. She wanted the pictures on the hallway walls, the memories in every corner. If she moved, she would lose all that. If she moved, she would lose him.

But she couldn’t say that to Dagmar, or anyone. No one understood what she was going through.

“For me?” Dagmar asked.

Unity nodded because it was easier to agree. In one respect, her friend was right. It was just an open house.

She followed the signs to an unexpectedly large complex. They parked in the visitor’s lot and made their way to the unit for sale. On the way they passed a community pool, several barbecues and a nicely kept garden.

The unit for sale had a two-car garage. She and Dagmar took off their shoes before walking into a surprisingly open foyer that led to a big living room with floor-to-ceiling windows overlooking a beautiful garden.

A well-dressed real estate agent greeted them.

“Hello. I’m Miranda. Thank you for coming.” She handed them each a brochure on the property. “It’s a wonderful end unit, so there are extra windows. The HOA dues cover all the outside maintenance, including the pool, along with a social membership at the club.”

“That sounds wonderful,” Dagmar said. “There are three bedrooms?”

Miranda nodded. “And two and a half bathrooms. I’ll let you look around.”

The living room led into a formal dining room. Beyond that was the oversize kitchen.

Unity did her best to ignore the growing sense of unease and instead pretend she was watching her favorite episode of House Hunters.

The kitchen looked brand-new. The cabinets were dark cherry and the countertops were a gorgeous quartz pattern. She opened a drawer and saw it was high quality. There was a five-burner stove, a farm sink and a walk-in pantry.

From the eating area, they opened sliding glass doors that led to a deck overlooking the golf course.

Miranda joined them. “Isn’t it wonderful? So peaceful. You’re near the water feature. We get a lot of geese passing through and there are resident ducks.” She smiled. “Because everyone always asks, there is a window replacement policy. If a wayward golf ball takes out a window, the club will have it replaced within forty-eight hours.”

“That is important,” Dagmar said, taking Unity’s arm. “Let’s go upstairs.”

They saw two secondary bedrooms with a connecting bath. Across the hall was the laundry room. At the end of the hall was the master. The room was huge, with vaulted ceilings and a balcony overlooking the golf course. The master bath was as modern and lovely as the kitchen.

They went downstairs, thanked Miranda, then left. When they were standing by the car, Dagmar asked, “What do you think?”

Unity glanced back at the townhouse. “It’s nice.”

“There was so much light. And the appliances were fantastic. Did you see the jetted tub? Plus, there’s a pool. Didn’t you tell me you used to swim?”

“Back in high school,” Unity whispered, feeling herself start to shake.

She braced herself against the car as her eyes filled with tears. Seconds later, sobs clawed at her throat.

“I can’t,” she gasped, hunching over as the pain washed through her. “I can’t. I can’t.”

Dagmar held on to her. “Keep breathing, my love. You’ll be fine.”

She pulled away. “I’m not fine. Stop pushing me. Everyone’s pushing me. I don’t want a condo. I want to stay where I am.”

Dagmar only smiled. “Don’t be frightened, Unity. Healing isn’t easy and sometimes it hurts, but you will be better for it.”

“I don’t want to be better. I want Stuart back.” The sobs returned as she covered her face with her hands. “I want him back.”

“That isn’t going to happen. He’s dead. If you can’t do anything else, maybe it’s time to accept that. Your husband is gone forever.”

Unity gasped. “How can you say that?”

“I’m stating the obvious. Yes, you miss him. Yes, he was wonderful, but he’s not here, is he? He’s never going to be here, and the sooner you accept that, the sooner you can—”

“Let go,” Unity said bitterly. “You’ve told me a thousand times.”

“Then maybe you should start listening.” Dagmar’s usually friendly gaze had turned steely. “Do you have any doubt that I love you?”

“No.”

“Then perhaps it’s time to accept that I’m doing this for your own good. We all are. I’m worried about you. This is more than mourning, Unity. This is a kind of mental torture I can’t understand. Your love for Stuart wasn’t any greater than any other love, but your determination to stay trapped in the pain of your loss certainly is.”

The harsh words shocked her enough that she stopped crying. “There’s nothing wrong with me.”