The Family Remains(19)

But now she pulled those feelings into some semblance of order.

Of course she was still Rachel Gold. She was just Rachel Gold who’d finally met someone she needed a commitment from. That was the only difference.

And as if he could hear her thoughts, Michael stopped and turned her towards him so that they were face-to-face. ‘I liked it’, he said, ‘when you were jealous earlier.’

‘I was not jealous.’

‘You were jealous. I loved it. The idea of you, being jealous around me. Ha! I mean – wow. Any man should be so lucky. Any man should be so honoured. And I do not know what I have done to deserve the jealousy of a woman like you, but man, I would like to keep hold of it. Forever. Because I tell you what, the thought of another man making you feel jealous makes me feel jealous.’

They laughed then, and Rachel stared into his eyes and said, ‘No other man has ever made me feel jealous. Not ever. I usually just want men to fuck off out of my face, to be completely honest. But with you … it’s just … different.’

Michael grabbed his heart theatrically and made a pleasurable groaning noise. ‘Stop,’ he said. ‘I cannot take it. You’re going to give me an uncontrollable monster ego and I’m going to leave you for a Hollywood film star. Talk down to me, please, remind me who’s in charge. It can’t be me. Don’t let it be me.’

He was playing with her, he wasn’t being serious, she was certain. She smiled and said, ‘OK, loser, show me that you’re worth keeping around. Or I’m going to go off and find someone decent-looking with some money and a good personality.’

Michael laughed, rocking back slightly on his heels before straightening and leaning in towards her. ‘You,’ he said, ‘oh God, you. You are just, just too, urgh, too beautiful. Too everything. I am – fuck, Rachel, I am fucking insanely in love with you. I do not want to think about being without you, not ever. And listen. I know it’s only been a few weeks; I know we’ve barely gotten started. But I already know that this is it. This is me. And I want to stop, right now, stop everything and … I want to marry you, Rachel. Will you? Will you marry me?’

And there, there it was. The thing, the elusive, flighty thing, the small fluttering bird that had been trapped inside her all these years, crashing into the walls of her psyche, her notion of who she was and what she was meant to be. She wanted to be Michael’s wife. There. Simple. The window opened; the bird escaped.

‘Yes,’ she said, clutching Michael’s hands in hers. ‘Yes! Fuck! Of course. Of course. But where shall we live?’

‘Everywhere,’ said Michael. ‘We will live everywhere.’

At work on Monday Rachel steamed straight into Paige’s studio.

‘I have a commission for you,’ she said theatrically.

Paige pulled her black-framed reading glasses down her nose and peered up at Rachel through her eyelashes. ‘Oh. Cool. What sort of commission?’

‘An engagement ring.’

‘Right. OK. Not my usual thing, but tell me more?’

‘It needs to be white gold. A solitaire. Very simple.’

‘Well, that sounds more like your kind of thing than mine. Why don’t you want to undertake it?’

‘Because’ – she could barely keep her voice even – ‘it’s for me.’

Paige’s eyes grew wide. ‘You mean …?’

Rachel nodded, feeling half ecstatic, half ridiculous.

‘Michael? The American guy?’

‘Yup.’

‘Fucking hell, Rach, that’s immense. That’s – what’s it been? Two months?’

Rachel nodded again.

‘Shit. I mean, that’s amazing. But are you sure? I thought he was just going to be a six-month thing?’

‘Yeah. Well, me too. But seems he’s a keeper.’

‘Oh. God. Well, then get over here and bring it in.’ She opened up her arms and Rachel walked into them and let her friend squeeze her hard. ‘He’s a lucky, lucky man,’ she said. ‘I hope he knows that?’

‘Yes. He totally does. That’s kind of what it’s all about really. He has no side, no game, no bullshit. He just thinks I’m amazing. And I think he’s amazing. And—’ She broke off at the sound of her phone pinging three times in quick succession and switched on the screen with her thumb.

Three messages from Dominique:

Jonno’s got the lowdown.

Some stuff you should know.

Call me.

‘Sorry,’ she said to Paige. ‘I need to make a call. I’ll pop back in a minute.’

She unlocked her studio door and dropped her bag on her bench. Then she pressed in Dominique’s number and cleared her throat while she waited for her friend to pick up.

Some stuff you should know.

She cleared her throat again and stood up straight when she heard Dominique answer. ‘Dom,’ she said in greeting.

‘Rach. Hi. You OK?’

‘Yup. All good. You?’

‘Super trouper. Just felt the baby move for the first time.’

‘Oh. Oh! Wow! That’s—’

‘Weird, actually. It felt weird. Like having a goldfish in there. Anyway. Listen. I finally got Jonno’s full report. On Handsome Michael. Wanna hear it?’