The Familiar Dark(56)

“Okay, suit yourself,” Jimmy Ray said, wiping his hands of it, of me. He threw himself back on the pillows, watched as I stood and slipped on my shoes. “Am I gonna see you around here again?”

“No,” I said. Whichever way this went, from here on out, Jimmy Ray and I were over. I had a feeling I’d find my self-destruction somewhere else soon enough.





TWENTY-TWO


I made it as far as my car, slid in behind the wheel, before I ran out of energy. My head throbbed in time with my heartbeat, and my tongue lay thick and foreign in my mouth. I closed my eyes, forcing back the sting of tears, as the first rays of daylight peeked over the horizon. I couldn’t remember ever being this tired, this down-to-the-bone exhausted, not even in those early weeks after Junie was born. Maybe Jimmy Ray was right. Maybe it was time to let things lie, stop poking around like a dumb kid messing with a nest of rattlers. Junie might even forgive me for giving up. But I knew I wouldn’t forgive myself, that I’d never have a true peaceful moment until I saw this through to the end. I opened my eyes and started the car.

My first instinct was to confront Cal, step right into his face and ask him what in the hell was going on. But I remembered his expression that day by the river when I’d basically accused him of messing around with Izzy. If I made another misstep like that, leaped without evidence, I wasn’t sure we’d recover. And underneath that worry was a new one, a consideration I’d never really had before with Cal: He might look directly into my eyes and lie to me. I needed to figure this out before I confronted him, nail the facts down tight without any wiggle room.

Problem was, I wasn’t sure where to start. The answer came to me lumbering through the parking lot of the diner when I drove past. Land, hitching up his pants and heading inside for a predawn cup of joe. And, judging from his ever-growing belly, probably a piece of cherry pie to go with it.

I swung into the lot, pulled to a stop right in front of him, and leaned across the passenger seat to roll down the window.

“Jesus, Eve,” Land said, bending down to look at me, one arm braced on the roof of my car. “About took off the tips of my toes.”

“Sorry,” I said, and he rolled his eyes at my dismissive tone. “I was wondering if you’ve heard anything new about the case?”

“Nothing we’re ready to share just yet.”

“What does that mean?”

Land sighed. “We’re working it as hard as we can, Eve.” I heard the frustration in his tone and the sincerity, too. It shocked me a little. Sometimes I forgot that Land might actually care about who killed Junie and Izzy beyond wanting to clear it off his books. “Wish I had more to tell you, I really do.”

“What about Matt?” I asked, throwing out my bait to see what I might catch.

Land jerked back a little, scowl on his face. “Matt? You mean the one dumb enough to mess around with Izzy Logan and then get himself blown to bits?”

A tiny pulse started ticking in my stomach. “Yeah,” I said, careful.

“He didn’t have nothing to do with the murders,” Land said, leaning closer now. “I sure do wish I’d had a chance to talk to him about his sniffing around Izzy. I woulda made sure he never pulled something like that again. But he was working a shift at the strip joint when the girls died. Half a dozen witnesses, at least. He had an alibi as tight as those pants he wore.”

The pulse in my stomach ballooned and bottomed out, leaving a hollow pit behind. What had Cal said when I’d asked him about talking to Matt? He tried denying it at first, but we kept pressing him. Cal and Land talking to Matt about his relationship with Izzy. But here Land was, knowing nothing about it. It was such a small, stupid lie. And yet I couldn’t think of any reason Cal would tell it unless it was hiding something bigger and uglier.

“You been thinking Matt was the one who killed the girls?” Land asked. “I can see where you might jump to that conclusion after the business with him and Izzy. But like I said, it wasn’t him.”

“I guess I thought maybe he was involved. Knew something. That’s why I was asking.” I was rambling, words butting up against each other, and I forced myself to take a breath and relax. “Seems like a lot of people dying around here recently. I made a leap I probably shouldn’t have, that’s all.” I tried on a smile. “That’s what happens when you can’t sleep. You lie there overthinking everything.”

Land stared at me for a moment. “Huh,” he said finally. “Well, try and get some rest, Eve. We’ll let you know when we’ve got something, all right?”

“Okay.” I nodded. “Thanks.”

Land knocked twice on my roof in response and then edged around the front of my car and into the diner. It was the first time in years I didn’t have the urge to hurt him.



* * *



? ? ?

    I waited until Cal left for work, watched him pull away from the curb and head west toward the police station. I’d parked a block away from his low-slung duplex, but still huddled down until I barely cleared the dashboard, although from what I could tell Cal never once glanced my way.

I’d let myself into Cal’s place a hundred times over the years. I had his key right next to my own on my worn key ring. But this morning felt different, covert and suspect. I didn’t exactly slink up to his doorway, but it wasn’t my usual casual stroll, either. I was very aware of myself and the world around me, the sound of my footsteps, the wind through the trees, the open blinds in Cal’s living room window, the sun hitting the back of my neck. The other half of Cal’s duplex was occupied by an elderly woman who rarely came outside. The most contact Cal generally had with her was when she banged on their shared wall when he had a football game turned up too loud. I didn’t think she’d be paying much attention to my approach. Still, I let myself in quickly, didn’t really take an easy breath until I had the door closed and locked behind me.