The Candy House(68)

This more profound isolation may result, at first, in paralysis.

If it soothes you to lie back in the dirt, then lie back.

The moon shines everywhere.

The moon can seem as expressive as a face.

Human beings are fiercely, primordially resilient.

The mythical feats you loved to read about as a child are puny beside the accomplishments of human beings on earth.





31


The discovery of another person nearby when you thought you were alone may occasion fear.

Leaping from a supine into a standing posture will induce vertigo.

“I see you. Come out” must be uttered calmly, from the Readiness Position.

When you’ve expected a man, the appearance of a woman may bring relief, despite everything that you know, and are.

“Why are you here?,” uttered by your new host’s alpha beauty, is likely hostile.

Reply to abstract questions on the most literal level: “He left without me.”

“Bastard,” muttered bitterly, suggests acquaintance with the phenomenon of being left behind.

Sympathy from an unexpected source can prompt a swell of emotion.

Measure the liability of shedding tears before you let them fall.

The perfumed arms of a beauty may pour strength and hope directly into your skin.





32


A lavish clifftop villa may look even more miragelike on a second approach.

Sustaining an atmosphere of luxury in a remote place requires an enormous amount of money.

So does coordinated violence.

Your job is to follow money to its source.

A powerful man whose associate has fled the premises after a false alarm is unlikely to be cheerful.

The reappearance of the vanished associate’s stranded beauty will likely startle him.

Astonishment is satisfying to witness on any face.

“Where the fuck did he go?” can be deciphered even in a language you don’t recognize.

A shrug is universally understood.

An alpha beauty’s indifference to the consternation of her mate may mean that he’s easily moved to consternation.

It may also mean that he’s not her mate.





33


As a beauty, you will sometimes be expected to change hands.

Generally, you will pass from the hands of a less powerful to a more powerful man.

Your job is identical regardless of whose hands you are in.

Advancing further toward the source of money and control is progress.

If your vulnerability and helplessness have roused the interest of an enemy subject, accentuate them.

Dirty, bleeding knees may accentuate your vulnerability to the point of disgust.

They might get you a hot shower, though.





34


Homes of the violent rich have excellent first-aid cabinets.

If, after tending to your scrapes, you are shown to a bathing area with a waterfall, assume you won’t be alone for long.

The fact that a man has ignored and insulted you doesn’t mean that he won’t want to fuck you.

Slim, powerful men often move with catlike swiftness.

Begin your countdown early—as he lowers himself into the tub.

By the time he seizes your arm, you should be at five.

By the time your forehead is jammed against a rock, you should perceive your body only vaguely, from above.





35


If you feel, on returning to your body, that much time has passed, don’t dwell on how much.

If your limbs are sore and your forehead is scraped and raw, don’t dwell on why.

Emerging from a hot, churning bath where you’ve spent an indeterminate period of time will leave you shaky and weak.

Remind yourself that you are receiving no payment, in currency or kind, for this or any act you have engaged in.

These acts are forms of sacrifice.

An abundance of diaphanous bathrobes suggests that women often visit this bathing area.

A soiled and tattered white sundress may seem oddly precious when it’s all you have.

Keep with you the things that matter—you won’t come back for them.





36


If you’re shown to a tiny room containing a very large bed, your utility to your new host may not have been exhausted.

At times, you may wish to avoid the moon.

The moon may appear like a surveillance device, tracking your movements.

Sleep whenever you can safely do so.





37


Your abrupt awakening may feel like a reaction to a sound.

In moments of extreme solitude, you may believe you’ve heard your name.

We reassure ourselves by summoning, in our dreams, those we love and miss.

Having awakened to find them absent, we may be left with a sense of having spoken with them.

Even the most secure houses achieve, in deep night, a state of relative unconsciousness.

A beauty in a diaphanous lavender bathrobe can go anywhere, as long as she appears to be delivering herself to someone.

A universal principle of home construction makes it possible to know which door will lead to the master bedroom.

Linen closets, with doors closed, can resemble master bedrooms.

So can bathrooms.