The Calculating Stars (Lady Astronaut, #1)(120)

The guys laughed. Nicole lifted her cup of coffee and said, “But if we did that, where would you keep your balls?”

I loved her so much.

“All right, people. Let’s get to work.” Clemons strode into the room, trailing smoke like a badly tuned engine. “Parker. Good to have you back.”

I grabbed a cup of coffee and settled into my seat next to Nicole. Leaning over, I whispered, “You are my hero.”

“You’d think it was a war wound, the way everyone is carrying on over him.” She opened her binder, pretending to pay attention to Clemons. “I hear that the reason he had to have surgery was to reduce the size of the rod up his ass.”

“Then it failed.”

“So true.”

The meeting fell into its familiar rhythms as we worked through the plans for the week. Each of us had an area to report. While Parker had been away, I’d begun to feel like the women were integrated into the department more. I’m sure that would change now that he was back.

“Paz-Viveiros and Cleary, you’ll be happy to know that the simulator has been repaired, so you can resume your mission prep.” Clemons peered at his agenda. “Malouf, you did a good job with the issue with the hatch seal, but it revealed some problem areas with the mission, and I want to do some reassignments. I’m reassigning you from the CM on this lunar mission to commanding the second one.”

I winced for him. That had to be tough, but with Parker back, I guess they were assuming he’d be fit enough for launch. Parker’s brows went up and he sat forward, head held at a rigid angle. “Sir, I’m not going to be ready for flight for another year.”

“I know.” Clemons waved his cigar at him. “York’s the new CM.”

Air roared past my ears as if I were suddenly feeling all 1,040 miles per hour of the Earth’s rotation. I shook my head, trying to clear it. The CM. The command module. That wasn’t just being a computer—that was also piloting the craft that would orbit the moon while the lander went to the surface.

Someone said my name. More than one person. Pressure and sound came back into focus as Nicole squeezed me into a hug. Malouf came up from behind and wrapped his long arms around me. He said something kind. I don’t know what.

Across the table, Parker smoldered. He put his hand flat on the table. “May I ask a question.”

No. No—I hadn’t said anything. I gripped my hands into fists until the nails bit into my palms, then forced myself to breathe. My stomach had knotted into a ball so tight it hurt.

3.1415 …

“Go ahead.”

“Why York?”

“It has been made abundantly clear to me that the moon mission isn’t going to succeed without a computer on board. The CM will be out of contact with the Earth every time it flies into the moon’s dark side.” Clemons slid a sheet of paper toward me. “This is a list of the computers that work for the IAC. I want you to go through it and identify anyone that can be trained as a pilot.”

I didn’t need the list to know whose name belonged at the top. “Helen Liu. Already a pilot, and has jet experience.” But I took the list. “I’ll work on the rest.”

“I’d like to help York with that.” Parker gave an earnest smile.

He wanted to help? Help me? “What kind of pain medicine are you on?”

“You’d like some, wouldn’t you?” His smile was casual—all joking between colleagues, but I could see the threat that lay underneath it. Toe the line, he’d said. And he had to see me getting the first lunar landing instead of him as jumping the line. “It’s important to think about the temperament of the candidate as well. York’s got the expertise to talk about the computing side, and I trust her as a pilot, but space is a different thing and she hasn’t been up there. Besides, I’d like to feel like I’m of some use.”

He sounded so reasonable. He’d even slipped a compliment in there. But I’d seen him use that earnest smile as a weapon before. The paper with the computers’ names rattled in my grip.

Clemons nodded along. “Good. Good. I’m going to use you as CAPCOM on a couple of missions, but this shouldn’t interfere.”

“Actually, maybe we should take advantage of having some of the other ladies here to talk through what attributes we’re looking for in a candidate, since the computers are all women.” He held up his hand. “But I don’t want to mess with your agenda on my first day back. I’m just so eager to get back to work.”

I swallowed my fear and tried to take control of the conversation. “That’s a great idea, Parker. Why don’t you and I come up with an initial list, and then we can vet it with the group later. That’ll give the director time to get it on the agenda.”

“Absolutely.” There was his shit-eating grin. “And there are some easy points that we can establish right up front. For instance, the candidates need to be emotionally stable. So it would be an obvious black mark if any of them were, say, taking Miltown.”

1, 3, 5, 7, 9, 11—

Nicole gave her debutante laugh. “Don’t be foolish. That would disqualify half of the United States.”

Oh. No. Nicole, don’t. Don’t sacrifice your own chance in space …

… 13, 17, 23 … I somehow managed to match her laugh. “Right. I mean, for heaven’s sake. I take it.”