The Babysitter(53)

Mel stared at the tiny, innocuous-looking tablets Jade offered her.

‘They’ll help,’ she urged, as Mel hesitated.

‘Not for the next few weeks.’ Aware of what the side effects were, which would only get worse before she got better, Mel sighed, but took them anyway and washed them down with the tea. ‘As long as you don’t mind coping with the mood swings,’ she said, feeling a little easier confiding in Jade now that Jade had confided in her.

‘I’ll look the other way if you throw a wobbly,’ Jade promised.

Mel smiled. ‘I’d walk the other way, if I were you. I might be about to throw one.’

Jade widened her eyes worriedly. She had nice eyes, Mel thought. True baby blue, and as innocent as a baby’s too.

‘The hair.’ She rolled her eyes upwards. ‘What on earth am I going to do with it?’

Jade cocked her head to one side. ‘Dye it back,’ she said. ‘In fact, I might join you. I quite fancy going copper. Meanwhile, wear it up. Come on, I’ll show you.’

Taking hold of Mel’s hands, she pulled her to her feet and steered her towards the wardrobe mirror, where she proceeded to gather her hair and pull it into a topknot.

Ouch! Rather too roughly, Mel thought, but felt it impolite to point out.

‘Like this, see?’ Jade smiled, and waited for her reaction.

Mel studied her reflection. It was an improvement, she supposed, but she doubted she’d look as bright and bouncy as Jade any time soon. Jaded is how she looked – pale and drawn. How had this happened, she wondered again, her resolve waning a little, which wasn’t helped by the room spinning in slow revolutions around her. Mel wondered about that, too. How it was she’d felt so spaced out before she’d even started the medication.

‘You should wear some blusher,’ Jade said, surveying her thoughtfully. ‘Until you get the colour back in your cheeks.’

So she’d noticed her sallow complexion too. ‘I can imagine what Mark will think about that,’ Mel said, with another roll of her eyes. Other than a little concealer beneath her eyes, she hardly ever wore make up around the house, clay spatters on top of blusher not being a good look. He’d probably think she was off to proposition another waiter. Recalling her drunken endeavours at seduction, the waiter’s horrified expression and Mark’s clear mortification, Mel winced inwardly.

‘Think about what?’ Mark asked, eyeing her curiously as he came through the open bedroom door.

‘Mel wearing her hair up,’ Jade supplied, diplomatically leaving out the pale and uninteresting bit. ‘What do you think?’

Mark looked at Mel through the mirror as Jade demonstrated her proposed up-do. ‘Sexy,’ he said, smiling.

It didn’t reach his eyes, though, Mel noticed. There was no mischievous glint there, no subtle innuendo. He looked wretched, as pale as she was, and utterly exhausted.

‘I, er, should go. Running late,’ he said, reaching for his mobile. Out of habit, Mel wondered, as he pocketed it again without checking it, or did he not want to check his messages in front of her? ‘Will you be okay, Mel?’

‘Yes. Why wouldn’t I be?’ Irked by what felt like his patronising concern, Mel replied sharply – and then immediately regretted it.

‘I’ll go and see to Evie,’ Jade said, tactfully excusing herself from the situation. ‘Is she still in her carrier, Mark?’

‘In the lounge, fast asleep,’ Mark confirmed, turning his confused gaze away from Mel towards Jade. ‘She’s due a feed soon, so I thought I’d leave her for the moment.’

‘Brilliant.’ Jade headed towards the door. ‘That’ll give me a chance to get it ready.’

‘Thanks, Jade.’ And this time his smile was one of relief, tinged with palpable sadness.

Mel felt her heart sink. He didn’t want to be here. How could he? And then her stomach lurched as she noticed Jade reach out to brush his arm with her hand. Bewildered, Mel turned away from the mirror. Why would she do that? Commiseration? Reassurance? It was too intimate a gesture. She must know that. He must. Right here in front of her. In her bedroom.

‘Mel? Are you all right?’ Mark asked, as she turned swiftly to the en suite.

‘I’m fine! For God’s sake…’ Please, just stop asking. Mel closed the door and turned to lean against it, desperately trying to hold back the useless, pathetic tears. To convince herself it was just her paranoia at play, misinterpreting things, yet again.





Thirty-Five





JADE





Jade had no idea why she hadn’t got rid of the girl sooner. She’d felt sorry for her, initially. How could she not, with her mother seething and raging, embarrassing her in the middle of the supermarket? The woman had been a complete witch, dressed like a trollop: short skirt, tits on show, blood-red lipstick, like an angry red slash for a mouth. Watching from across the aisle, seeing the woman’s rubbery lips exaggeratedly moving as she’d cursed and berated the child for accidentally knocking over a display stand – ‘You stupid girl! Look what you’ve done!’ – Jade had felt goosebumps prickle her skin. She recognised the child’s fear. The same fear she’d felt when her own bitch mother had snarled and scorned and walked away, leaving her with him. She felt again the ice-cold dread pooling in the pit of her stomach, the repulsion, the pain; the powerlessness as he’d pushed into her, groaning and thrusting and grunting. The hopelessness, trying to make her mother understand. It wasn’t her fault!