The Babysitter(52)

MELISSA





Melissa willed her body to respond, her mind screaming. Her heart constricted inside her; she tried to run, to breathe, but her feet were weighed down by the swirling nothing beneath her. The air was too thick, too putrid; choking smoke seared her lungs. Petrified, she tried to reach Evie. Tried to push and prise them away, the hands that clutched and clawed at her legs, disembodied arms rising and writhing like pale grey vines from the mire. She was crying. Pitiful whimpers turned to terrified tears – her baby was crying. Someone was shaking her, hurting her, and she… couldn’t…

Hush, little baby, don’t say a word…

Jade?

‘Morning,’ Jade greeted her cheerily.

Prising heavy-lidded eyes open, Mel blinked hard against the bright light the girl seemed to be bathed in.

‘Morning,’ Jade said again, standing over her. ‘I brought you some tea.’

Attempting to focus, Mel gulped hard against the parched dryness of her throat, and struggled to lever herself up.

‘Hold on,’ Jade said, taking a step to the side.

Squinting, Mel registered the sunlight filtering through the slatted blinds. Her blinds at her bedroom window, she realised, immense relief washing through her.

‘You were sleeping like a baby.’ Jade bobbed back into view. ‘We didn’t like to wake you, so—’

‘We?’

‘Mark,’ Jade clarified, leaning down to help her with her pillows. ‘He said you hadn’t fallen asleep until after three, so we thought it was best not to disturb you.’

There was that ‘we’ again. Mel wasn’t sure she liked it. Or being left to sleep until some ridiculous time. Her sleep patterns had been erratic, to say the least, when she’d been unwell before. She’d had no reason, not even the will, to get out of bed then. But things were different now. She had a family, and suddenly, paranoid though it might be, she felt excluded from it. Routine was what she needed, to get up and get on with it. She didn’t want to give in, to lie in bed, battling nightmares that seemed too real to be dreams and slipping further into her black hole. ‘Where is he?’ she asked, pushing the duvet back and attempting to pull herself into a sitting position, no easy task with her brain and body seemingly immersed in soft treacle.

Jade reached a hand out to steady her. ‘He’s taken Poppy to school. And Evie’s due her check-up, so he—’

‘Mark’s taken her?’ Mel asked, surprised. ‘But doesn’t he need to be at work?’

‘He said he wanted to spend some time with her. I was ready to take her, but—’

‘Wanted to keep her out of harm’s way, more likely,’ Mel growled. Seeing the alarmed expression on Jade’s face, she felt immediately guilty. Again.

‘He means well, Melissa,’ Jade said, tentatively, obviously wary of being interrupted or snapped at. ‘I know how you feel, honestly I do. Sometimes you just want people to go away and not treat you as if you’re incapable, but he is trying to be helpful.’

He was. She knew he was. Mel sighed inwardly, and then looked at Jade curiously as her thoughts caught up with her. ‘Do you? Know how I feel?’

Jade hesitated, and then reluctantly nodded. ‘I was on medication, too,’ she admitted, now looking awkward. ‘Only for a short while, after my parents…’ Mel searched her face, attempting to digest this new information about her babysitter. ‘I’m fine now. I probably should have mentioned it before, but…’ Dropping her gaze, Jade trailed embarrassedly off.

‘You thought I wouldn’t employ you?’ Mel finished, empathising completely. There was more understanding of mental illness nowadays but still there was prejudice and fear of the unknown. Mel had experienced it herself. She’d never imagined Mark might think her incapable of looking after her own children though.

Jade nodded slowly. ‘Sorry,’ she said, in a small voice.

And Mel despaired utterly of herself. The girl had been efficient, genuinely caring towards Poppy and Evie, falling over herself to help out. More than that, she was prepared to stick around when many people wouldn’t. Most people, in fact. And how had she shown her appreciation? By accusing her of sabotaging her milk supply, when it had obviously been just an unfortunate accident. Jade must feel awful.

‘Don’t be sorry.’ Mel reached out to take her hand, and the poor girl looked as if she might burst into tears. ‘For the record, I would have employed you, and, also for the record, you’re doing a fantastic job, Jade. I’m immensely grateful.’

‘Really?’ Jade beamed at that. She had a gorgeous smile.

‘Really.’ Mel gave her hand a squeeze. ‘It’s me who owes you an apology. I shouldn’t have jumped to conclusions about the freezer. The switch is in the perfect place for getting accidentally knocked. I’ve done it myself with the kettle. Anyway, I’m sorry.’

‘Apology not necessary,’ Jade said, reaching for the tea and passing it to her. And then the tablets. Mark must have given them to her. Plainly, he was worried she’d forget to take them, or leave them lying around. Mel dearly wished she could forget to take the bloody things. She already felt woozy to the point of drunkenness. It was no wonder he’d thought she was secretly partaking of the odd tipple. She wished he hadn’t accused her of that though. It felt as though he didn’t trust her.