The Babysitter(42)

His jaw set tight, Mark gripped the steering wheel hard, reversed sharply and swung out of the car park. ‘They’re fine,’ he said, after a pause, during which he’d had to work at composing himself. It would do no good to heap guilt on her shoulders, which would only add to the wretchedness she would undoubtedly be feeling. ‘Jade has everything under control. Don’t worry.’

She didn’t look at him. Couldn’t or wouldn’t. Swallowing back a tight knot in his throat, Mark hesitated, and then tentatively reached across to squeeze her hand. ‘We’ll talk tomorrow,’ he said gruffly. ‘Let’s just get you home for now. You need to rest.’ He resisted saying that things would look better in the morning. He had a feeling that they wouldn’t. That things wouldn’t look better for a long time to come.

Mel didn’t answer. Turning her gaze to the passenger window, she fell silent instead, watching the bleak night pass by as they drove.

Fat splodges of rain now plopping moodily against the windscreen, Mark concentrated on the road. Silently, he thanked God, yet again, that they did have Jade. As horrendous as the circumstances were that had forced her to move out of her house, Mark was bloody glad she’d arrived in their lives when she had. He’d managed last time Mel had been ill, but with two children to care for now, Mark doubted he’d cope without help. But wasn’t he jumping the gun? Imagining the worst-case scenario? Her odd behaviour was reminiscent of her previous severe bout of depression, but his thoughtlessness at involving someone else in their problems had added to her upset tonight. She’d obviously convinced herself that he might actually be involved with Lisa.

He had to take things one step at a time. The first thing he needed to do was persuade Mel to get a diagnosis. Alongside that, he had to make sure she knew he was here for her. Shocked though he was by the sudden onset of symptoms, she had to know that she was much more to him than the mother of his children. She was the woman he loved. The woman who’d loved him back, despite his insecurities and flaws. If the sunny, independent person he knew her to be was momentarily eclipsed by the darkness, then so be it. He’d fight alongside her until the fucking sun came back out. He was here for the long haul. Somehow, he had to convince her of that.

Pulling up on the drive, Mark killed the engine and waited. Mel seemed reluctant to move. Guessing she would be struggling with her own conflicting emotions, Mark gave her a moment before softly prompting her. ‘Ready?’

Jade was waiting in the hall when they went in, her dressing gown belted tight, her expression apprehensive as she looked down at the shoes Mark was carrying. Mel had refused to put them back on, but even without them she was still unsteady on her feet.

Supporting Mel around the waist with his free arm, Mark shrugged, guessing he didn’t need to communicate more than he had from the hospital.

Jade smiled sympathetically. ‘I’ll make us some tea,’ she said, clearly attempting to give them some space.

‘Thanks,’ Mark said, parking the shoes in the hall and steering Mel gently towards the stairs. He wasn’t sure she would be able to drink any, but it might help. She’d vomited up what little food she’d eaten in the ambulance.

Mel stopped. ‘Are Poppy and Evie all right?’ she asked, looking at Jade.

Jade stepped back, her concern obvious, as she looked Mel over. ‘Fine. Both fast asleep and dreaming happy dreams,’ she reassured her with a smile. Mark was grateful.

Mel nodded, smiling tremulously, and then wrapped her arms about herself and allowed Mark to guide her up the stairs.

She paused on the landing, looking first towards Poppy’s door and then Evie’s. Mark prayed she didn’t insist on going in, and then breathed a considerable sigh of relief when she walked on. Aside from the fact that they would be bound to wake them, he doubted Mel would want Poppy to see her like this.

She still had her arms about herself as she walked into the bedroom.

‘I’ll get you something to sleep in,’ Mark offered, as she stopped in the middle of the room, seeming uncertain.

Walking to the en suite, he unhooked the shirt she wore from the door, considering whether to offer to help her to shower and quickly discarding the idea. His heart twisted afresh as he recalled the last time they’d been in there together, when everything had seemed so right between them. The morning Hercules had been injured, he reminded himself, realising now that things hadn’t been as right as they’d seemed. He’d just been too damn wrapped up in his work to see it.

‘I’ll give you a hand,’ he said, walking back towards where Mel still stood, unmoving. ‘Fancy sitting on the bed?’ he asked, standing behind her, ready to catch her if she stumbled. ‘It would make life a lot easier.’

Still, Mel didn’t move. ‘I’m sorry,’ she said instead, her voice so small and full of remorse, Mark felt like crying for her.

Briefly, he hesitated, and then wrapped his arms around her. ‘It’s okay,’ he assured her, easing her towards him. ‘The world’s still turning.’

‘So, so sorry,’ Mel said, her voice catching, causing Mark’s chest to constrict.

‘It’s okay, Mel,’ he repeated throatily, turning her gently to face him as a sob shook through her. ‘We’ll get through this, I promise.’

Another sob escaping her, Mel leaned into him, dropping her forehead to his shoulder.