Sweet Nothing(78)

“She is having a hard time.”

“And you’re not helping her by making excuses. She doesn’t need you defending her mental state to the world. She needs medication, Josh.”

“I’m not defending her. She hasn’t done anything wrong,” I snapped.

Quinn hung his head, pinching the bridge of his nose. “I know she hasn’t, Josh. But this—” he waved his hands at the overturned tables and empty beer bottles “—isn’t good for her.”

“I know. I’ll fix it.” I sank down on the edge of my bed, my head hanging as my entire world crumbled around me. “If I just knew how.” My voice was barely a whisper as I thought back to Kayla. I couldn’t help her either.

Quinn’s stern expression softened. “You sober the hell up, first. She’s not going to listen to a raging drunk.”

I nodded.

“Give her some time, and when she’s ready, you go to her. Explain about Hope. Then you need to get her an appointment with a neurologist.”

“She won’t. She’s scared of what they’ll say.” I let my lashes fall closed, sending the tears that pricked my eyes cascading down.

“She’s scared because she doesn’t understand what’s going on with her health, and now her marriage is falling apart. She might be mad as hell, but she needs you.”

I nodded, swallowing back the lump in my throat.

“I’m gonna … I’m gonna shower and sober up. Make a pot of coffee, would ya?” I looked up at Quinn, who was now standing in front of me with the bag hanging at his side.

“Sleep it off. She isn’t going anywhere.” He cupped my shoulder in his hand and then walked away, disappearing out the bedroom door. A few seconds later the apartment door slammed closed, and I fell back on the mattress, letting my sadness take over.

Despite my drunken stupor, it was almost impossible to sleep. I drifted in and out of consciousness, dreaming of Avery coming home and having nightmares that she never would.

When the sun finally cast shadows on the walls, I grabbed my phone. The screen read 7:04 a.m. It wasn’t too early to head over to Quinn’s. Avery would be awake, and hopefully she’d missed me, too.

I showered, shaved, and brushed my teeth, feeling the way I had before our first date. I looked for the shirt she loved and spritzed on the cologne she always said made her unable to keep her hands off me. If I was going to win her back, I’d need all the help I could get.

I slipped on my jeans and shoes, grabbed my wallet, phone, and keys, and headed for the door. I swung it open, feeling mildly confident. If Quinn believed me, Avery could, too.

My keys dropped from my hands when I recognized the woman standing in the hallway, puffy and red-faced from climbing the stairs.

“Avery,” I breathed.





My purse slipped when I snatched it from the kitchen counter and it toppled to the floor. I crouched, picking up sticks of gum and pennies, groaning when it was time to push back up to my feet.

“Let me help,” Josh said.

“I’ve got it,” I growled.

“Can we talk?”

“I just came back for my vitamins, and no, I don’t have time. I picked up a shift today.”

“Picked up a shift? Avery, your anxiety is through the roof. Did Deb check your blood pressure this morning?”

“It’s a little high,” I said, wiping my hair from face. “Let’s not pretend you care.”

“Just hear what I have to say.” He looked so exhausted, so desperate, it was all I could do not to fall into his arms. But I had to be strong for Penny. I had to walk away from a man I couldn’t trust, who didn’t respect me and the promises he’d made, even if that man was Penny’s father.

I walked past Josh into the bedroom, searching in the closet for a pair of scrubs that still fit.

Josh stood in the doorway, watching me change out of my maternity jeans into scrub pants. I slipped the blouse off over my head and pulled on a matching top over the stretched skin of my belly. I reached down, feeling my belly button through my shirt.

Josh smiled, and his bloodshot eyes filled with tears. “I love you.”

I sighed, looking down at my baby bump since I couldn’t see the floor anymore. “Please, don’t. You’re making it harder on me. This was your choice, not mine.”

“You trying so hard not to cry is making me want to hold you even more.”

“I have to be to work in an hour. I can’t do this right now.” I hesitated, knowing I was about to say words that, if Josh obliged, would be the beginning of the end. “I need you to … Penny and I can’t live with Deb. I need you to have your things out by the time I get home.”

He bristled. “What? No, Avery. You’re not even giving this a chance.”

“I gave this a lot of chances.”

“I’m not leaving. You’re not leaving,” Josh said, pacing. “If you’d just let me explain …”

Tears finally spilled over my cheeks. “You can’t. And honestly, I don’t want to listen to you try.” I stood, grabbing my purse off the bed and holding it to my chest. Receipts and my wallet tried to climb out through the zipper, and with trembling fingers, I stuffed them back down.

My eyes felt raw and swollen, and when I stood, cool air kissed the bottom of my burgeoning belly. I yanked down my too-small scrub top.