Sweet Nothing(77)

I looked down at my hands, flexing them and feeling the bloodied skin of my knuckles pulling open. A few hours before, after I’d left Avery yet another voicemail, I’d taken Dax out for a walk and decided to punch the tree in the back courtyard.

It took me two tries to push myself to my feet, stumbling to my right while struggling to keep my balance. The world around me blurred and spun as I blinked back tears.

I’d gotten everything I’d wanted. I had Avery, the woman I never deserved, and a child on the way. Somehow I’d managed to destroy everything.

I pulled keys out of my pocket belonging to a black Dodge Durango and choked out a laugh. I had a family vehicle and no family.

I’d managed to sell my Barracuda for a profit, but after the down payment for the Durango and the cost of preparing for the baby, we didn’t have enough to buy a house like I’d hoped.

I’d picked up extra shifts to build up our savings. Instead of having more time together, we saw each other less. Even when the choice was made to make our future better, it ended up being wrong. I’d f*cked up everything, no matter how hard I’d tried to hold it all together.

A sharp knock at the door caused me to jerk my head up, wondering if Avery no longer felt like this was her home. Had she left her keys? I looked around, but couldn’t focus.

“Come on, man,” Quinn’s voice called out from the hall. “Open the door.”

My heart sank. I needed to hear my wife’s voice. I had to know she was okay.

Stumbling across the room, I twisted the lock on the handle and pulled it open.

Quinn walked past me. “You look like shit,” he scolded.

“Where is she? I need to see her.”

He shook his head. “You really f*cked up this time, Josh.

“No, I didn’t. I swear to God, Quinn.”

Quinn’s expression twisted into a combination of aggravation and disbelief. “Avery found the neighbor’s panties by your nightstand. You can’t explain that away.”

“The nightstand?” I cringed, imagining Avery’s reaction when she found them, and how hurt she must have been. “I’d let Hope use our machine earlier that day.”

“Your washer and dryer stack are over there,” Quinn said, pointing to a closet next to the refrigerator. “How did the panties end up in your bedroom?”

I rubbed the back of my neck. “Avery warned me. She tried to tell me Hope was up to no good. I didn’t see it. I didn’t see it because I’m so in love with Avery.”

He still didn’t look convinced.

“Hope did it on purpose, Quinn. She left the panties here knowing Avery would find them.”

Quinn shook his head. “God knows I love ya, Josh, but that’s pretty convenient. I get it. You got caught screwing Strawberry Shortcake and lost the best thing that’s ever happened to you. But it’s time to come clean.”

“I never f*cking touched her! You have to believe me. I swear on my unborn child. I’ve never cheated on Avery, I’ve never even thought of Hope in that way.”

“Don’t swear on your baby, Josh, Jesus Christ.”

“It’s the truth.”

Quinn stared at me for a long time, and then his face and shoulders fell. “I believe you.”

I breathed out a sigh of relief. “Thank you. I need to explain to Avery. Can you make that happen?”

“No.”

“Quinn, please—”

“You need to back off, man. Deb’s really worried about her. So am I. She isn’t in a good spot. She needs some time to think.”

“She can have time. She can have everything she needs, but I have to know she’s coming back. I’m going f*cking crazy here, Quinn,” I said, my voice breaking.

The muscles worked under the tight skin of Quinn’s jaw.

I began to panic. “She is … isn’t she?”

Quinn pulled a duffel bag from his shoulder. “I don’t know. Deb hasn’t slept in twenty-four hours trying to keep an eye on her.”

“She wouldn’t hurt herself. She has headaches and flashes, Quinn. She wouldn’t hurt our baby.”

Quinn unzipped the bag. “You haven’t been around. She was hysterical for a solid three hours. We couldn’t calm her down. She was talking nonsense about the hospital and nothing being real. It was f*cking weird.”

“I need to see her. I need to tell her the truth. The stress is making her worse.”

“Worse? She’s been this way for a while, Josh. I tried to tell you. We all have. You can’t keep ignoring it. Avery needs help.”

I tried to fight against the whiskey fog that was making it all difficult to process. I was angry with myself all over again.

“You should clean yourself up, man,” Quinn said, disgusted. “She would be devastated to see you like this.” He made his way to a laundry basket of clean clothing across the room.

“She can’t hate me any more than she already does.”

Quinn shoved a few of Avery’s shirts into the duffel bag. “Not as much as you hate yourself, I’m guessing.”

“Deep down, Avery knows I wouldn’t cheat on her. She’s just … having a hard time.”

“I hate to say it, brother, but all signs point to a different conclusion. She might be having ‘a hard time,’ but women without a head injury have suspected worse with less evidence.”