Sweet Nothing(33)

I wrapped a white fluffy towel around me, feeling emptier as the elation from when I had first woken up faded. Josh was different because he wasn’t himself. He had watched a woman he was casually flirting with get pounded by a tractor-trailer, and then he had held her until help arrived. That would be traumatic for anyone. The sad part was he didn’t even know it was happening.

I jumped when three knocks shook the door. I tucked wet strands behind my ear and padded out of my bedroom and past the couch and coffee table. I peeked from the door, opening it just enough that the chain lock caught. Josh was standing on the other side with a sweet smile and two coffees. He was in a navy T-shirt with white insignia, navy cargo pants, and black lace-up boots.

“Hey,” he said, his head dipping down. “Everything okay?”

“I’m, um … What are you doing here? Aren’t you supposed to be at work?”

He held up both hands. “I made breakfast. Sorry I had to leave so early. I should have brought my clothes, but you know … didn’t want to assume anything. Not that I did. I’m on the clock, but we just dropped off a patient at St. Ann’s and I started missing you, and …” As he rambled, he noticed the look on my face. His expression changed. “What’s going on, Avery? Is everything all right?”

“I’m okay.” I tried to smile, but it felt crooked.

“Let’s talk.” He scanned my body from chin to ankles, and then his eyes drifted back up, stopping on the water dripping from the ends of my hair. He leaned over to look past me, and then the muscles in his jaw ticked under his taut skin.

“I just have a headache. I’m really okay.”

“Avery. Let me in.”

I slid the lock until it released. Josh immediately pushed the door open, looking around. He passed me to walk into the bedroom, spent a few seconds in the bathroom, and then returned to the living room, tripping over the area rug beneath my couch.

“What are you looking for?” I asked.

He was breathing through his nose, slightly trembling, his eyes wild.

“You’re angry?” I asked.

He looked away, his jaw tightening. Without thinking, I yanked the necklace he’d given me over my head and held it out to him. His mouth fell open, as if I’d slapped him in the face.

“Just wait a second, Avery. Let’s take a second and think about this.”

I arched my eyebrow, obstinate. The penny still dangled from the chain in my hand, just inches from his chest.

“Are you f*cking kidding me? That’s it?”

“Please,” I said, unimpressed. “You can’t get rid of me that easily.” I pushed to my tiptoes and looped the necklace over his head before sinking back down on the heels of my feet, my hands on my hips. “Penny for your thoughts.”

Lifting the small copper circle into his large palm, he stared at it for a moment before a ghost of a smile appeared, fading as quickly as it had arrived.

He sighed in defeat, but the fight had just begun.

“I thought maybe …”

“What?”

“Someone else was here.”

“What?” I shrieked. The only thing in the apartment that wasn’t exactly the same when he’d left was me. I couldn’t fathom why he’d even think such a thing. The dress he’d slipped off me hours before was still hanging halfway off the wooden coffee table, my bra was still in a small, lacy heap in the bedroom doorway, and my panties were still tangled somewhere in the sheets.

Josh huffed, trying to reign in his temper. “You answered the door with the chain locked and then left me standing in the hallway like I’m some stranger you don’t want in your apartment … You’re acting all nervous and weird! What the hell was I supposed to think?” His voice rose as his frustration increased with each word.

“That I had someone in here the morning after we … Are you serious?” My stomach turned. Someone had to have done this to him before. He was heavily guarded, and I had only scratched the surface of his armor. His eyes widened, as if he knew I’d seen too much.

“Whoa,” he said, holding the coffees out in front of him. “Let’s start over.”

I crossed my arms across my middle.

“What’s going on with you, Avery? Why are you acting so strange? Is it because of last night? Is it too weird now? Are you not sure? About … me?”

“Stop. You’re overreacting,” I said, holding up my hands, palms out.

He looked at his watch and then sighed, a deep growl resonating from his chest. “I have to go. Please tell me what’s wrong. I’m gonna go nuts all day worrying about it.”

“Why?” I dropped my hands and groaned, exasperated.

He wrinkled his nose. “Huh?”

“Why would you worry about it?”

His face twisted, as if I had begun speaking a foreign language. “Avery, what the hell?”

“You’re so different.”

“So are you,” he spat back. “You were fine last night. Now that we’ve … you’re trying to bail.”

“I’m not trying to bail. But you … I’ve dated people. You don’t, you—”

“When?” he asked, his tone accusatory.

I frowned, insulted. “I’ve lived a long time before you came around, Josh Avery. You’re not my first relationship, if that’s what this even is.”