Sweet Little Memories (Sweet #3)(43)

The smell of the chicken. Vomiting after the mention of Mexican food. I had never personally spent time with a pregnant woman but I had seen enough television and movies. Stone had no idea. If he did, whatever he was doing right now that was so important he called me to come after her, would be dropped. He’d be here with her. Doing whatever he could to get her to come back.

She got in the car and closed the door. Walking back around to get back in myself I knew I was going to have to tell him. He deserved to know. She needed him to know. But before I did she was going to answer some questions. I wasn’t going to shoot off at the mouth again with information I didn’t have facts on. I was going to be more careful this time.

Starting the car, I pulled back onto the interstate. I didn’t say anything. I let her sit there and think. She had to know I wasn’t a complete idiot. What had just happened wasn’t food poisoning or a stomach virus. If it were it would have been worse. She would be hunched over in the seat weak and sick.

The Italian place appeared the next exit sign and although I wasn’t positive she could eat just yet I took the exit anyway. Our silence continued until I was parked and we were sitting there staring straight ahead. Both of us waiting for the other to speak. I wanted her to tell me. I didn’t want to be the one to hammer her with questions, but I would if I had to.

“He doesn’t want kids. He said him having a child would be a mistake.” Her voice was so soft I had to strain to hear her.

Stone thought he should never be a father. He’d said more than once that he wouldn’t know the first thing about it. He had no example to follow. All he had was Gerry and that wasn’t enough, or so he believed.

“But he said that not knowing about you,” I said making sure I understood correctly. Because if he knew she was carrying his child and he had said that fuck fixing our friendship. I’d find him and beat his ass or go down trying. Truth had always been Stone was the more dangerous one. He’d been fighting since he was young. That was the one thing his abusive father had taught him. Tough, hard, and cold. But he could also be the best human you’d ever met. It was a unique combination.

“I couldn’t tell him. Not after that. I don’t want my baby to ever feel like it was a mistake. Or unwanted. And if he feels that way our child will feel it too.”

She spoke as if each word physically hurt her. She wouldn’t look at me. I could see her chin quiver as she fought to hold in her emotion. When Stone found out I doubted he would ever forgive himself.

“I understand. But I also know Stone. He often says what he thinks and doesn’t consider how it could change if the situation presented itself. I know he loves you. I understand that more than anyone else. And because I know how he feels and the sacrifice he was willing to make to secure your safety by calling me, I also know you’re wrong about how he will feel about the baby.”

If he didn’t forgive me for anything else, what I’d just said should cleanse me from all the other sins I’d committed against him. Beulah was so vulnerable right now. I could take advantage of that and give her a life she didn’t think she would have now. I could step in to be a father to the baby. She’d eventually love me. I could see that scenario and I would be a liar if I didn’t admit it was tempting. But it was also wrong.

I knew the baby’s father. I knew the truth. And I knew he would want her and this baby. She wasn’t an abandoned single mother who needed me to save her. If she was, I’d gladly do it and thank God for a second chance. But this wasn’t my lucky moment. It wasn’t meant to be for us.

“Can you eat?” I asked her instead of pushing or trying to convince her on anything more.

She turned to look at me. A small sad smile touched her lips. “Actually, I’m craving those breadsticks you mentioned.”

For now, I’d feed her. When she slept again I would decide what to do and how to handle it. Stone’s future depended on it and this time I wasn’t going to let him down.





Beulah

SOMEHOW I HAD MANAGED TO eat three breadsticks and an entire bowl of ravioli. When I had gotten sick for the first time I wasn’t sure I could ever eat again. If it wasn’t chicken or Mexican, it seemed I was fine in the hunger and eating department. The restaurant was more expensive than my budget. Jasper had threatened to make a scene if I didn’t allow him to pay for the meal. When I tried to order salad and breadsticks only, he ordered me ravioli, lasagna and fettuccini alfredo. I had to promise to eat the ravioli to stop him from ordering everything else on the menu.

Over lunch he didn’t mention Stone, the pregnancy, or what he thought I should do next. Instead, he told me funny stories about college. The story about Sterling when he had been locked out of the house without clothes and had to run naked to the neighbors to ask to use their phone had almost made me pee my pants. The neighbors had been in their late seventies and called the police on him. He’d run and hid in the woods, staying there all night until someone woke up in the house and finally let him inside.

I didn’t completely forget my problems. But for a short moment I laughed and enjoyed the distraction. Once we were back in the car, my sorrow returned. I closed my eyes and sleep came easily. At least that was something I didn’t have to worry about. My body was going to rest even if my mind wasn’t cooperating.

When I woke again the trees were different. They weren’t as green. It was almost as if fall was close and it wasn’t the end of August. I sat up and looked around. “Where are we?” I knew this wasn’t Georgia. With a quick glance at the clock on the dash I realized I’d been asleep for four hours.