Straight Up Love (The Boys of Jackson Harbor #2)(28)

I turn to Jake and catch him staring at the stack of ungraded compositions on my kitchen table. He looks a little stricken as he grabs his keys from his pocket. “I need to head to Brayden’s for brunch. Do you want to come with?”

I put my hand on my stomach, already full of Star’s incredibly rich donut. “I think I’m all set.”

He shakes his head and smiles. “You don’t have to eat. You can just hang out with us. I know how much you like Shay’s coffee.”

“That’s tempting, but I have a bunch I need to get done around here.” Papers to grade, laundry to fold, weeds to pull. Since I work two jobs and volunteer as the director of Jackson Harbor Children’s Theater, I have to be stingy with my time off.

“I’ll see you later, then,” Jake says, heading to the door.

“Give Mom my best,” I say.

“Will do,” he calls back.

I wander across the kitchen to see whose paper Jake was looking at, and my heart does a stutter step. Not composition papers. Potential sperm donors.

Colton looks over my shoulder and chuckles behind me. “Jake doesn’t seem to be handling the news of your potential pregnancy very well.”

Any awkwardness from Jake was less about a potential pregnancy and more about me asking for his sperm, but since Colton would flip out if I shared my embarrassing drunken request, I think I’ll keep that to myself. Maybe I shouldn’t be allowed to drink.

I look at my brother, narrowing my eyes. How’d he find out, anyway? “Ellie told you about that?”

He nods and studies my face. “Would’ve rather heard it from my sister.”

“Well, it’s only a possibility. Let’s not get ahead of ourselves.” I shrug. “How’s your season shaping up?” I ask, intentionally changing the subject.

Sometimes I think my brother chose his career in motocross just to spite our father. Then again, everything about racing appeals to Colton. The travel. The constant thrills. The life-threatening levels of danger. The women . . .

“Season’s good,” he says. “There are some new guys trying to make a splash, but we’ll see if they last.”

“And how are you and Ellie?”

“We’re fantastic.”

I grin. “That’s why she keeps hearing wedding bells.”

Donut halfway to his mouth, he freezes. “Did she tell you that?”

Folding my arms, I frown. “Not in so many words, but she talks about you two getting married like it’s inevitable. I think we all assume it is.”

He cuts his gaze from mine and studies the big calendar I have taped to my fridge. The silence grows heavy between us. I sip my coffee, waiting him out.

“I love her. I’d just hate to ruin it by rushing into something.”

“You’ve been together for more than two years. Is that really rushing?”

“If we’re meant to be together, what’s the harm in taking our time? Where exactly is it that we’re trying to get to?”

I sigh. I know Ellie doesn’t feel the same way, but the last thing I want to do is guilt my brother into a proposal he’s not ready for. “Just make sure you’re telling her how you feel.”

When he turns back to me, there’s more anguish in his eyes than I would have expected. Sometimes I forget my kid brother isn’t a kid anymore, and he has problems of his own. “I’m not like you, Av. I’m not happy with the status quo. I want more.”

I’m not sure he intended to insult me, but it stings. “Who said I’m happy with the status quo?”

He arches a brow and points to the papers on the table. “So you’re going to go through with the sperm-donor plan?”

“It’s complicated. I think so. Maybe in a couple of months, but . . .”

He folds his arms and studies me, and for a split second I see my father in his stern expression. All the McKinley men look so much alike. “Do you remember when we were kids and Mom sold the camper and put the addition on the house?”

I smile, remembering. I was twelve, and Colton was seven. Mom had gotten the camper in the divorce, but Colt and I hated camping, so we never used it. We convinced her she should sell it and use the money to buy something for herself—an elaborate vacation, a new wardrobe—anything, as long as it was for her. She decided to put an addition on the back of the house with the master bedroom and en suite she’d always dreamed of, and we had so much fun helping her with all the design decisions. “I still can’t believe we talked her into that.”

“Do you remember how excited you were to move into her old bedroom?”

Frowning, I shake my head. “You moved into her old bedroom, not me.”

“I did, but only because you decided you didn’t want to. You were so excited about having all that space and the big windows, but the closer it got to moving day, the more anxious you became. None of your worries made any sense, but you refused to move.”

“Oh, yeah.” I vaguely remember that now. Mom had said the old master could be mine because I was the oldest, but I decided Colton should have it. I don’t remember why I made my decision, only that afterward I was jealous of Colton. He had space for three friends to roll out sleeping bags during slumber parties, whereas my friends and I had to spend our sleepovers in the living room.