Star Daughter(52)

Nothing Minal was saying made any sense. “Why are you trying to make me do this?”

Minal got up to examine the little silver statue of Hanuman on the dresser. “I’ve heard you sing. I know you can win this competition. But it can’t just be for your dad. It has to be for you. You’ve never gotten to claim this part of who you are. You’ve never—sorry, I have to say it—gotten to shine.”

“But I don’t care about eternal glory or whatever!” Sheetal protested.

Except, she thought, that last night in Charumati’s secret room, wouldn’t she have given anything to claim that part of herself? She’d been so sick of hiding. Of letting everyone underestimate her.

“I’m not talking about that,” Minal said. “I’m saying you deserve to have your turn in the spotlight. Show them what you can do. You’re a princess of a royal house, Sheetal! Own it.”

Sheetal groaned. “Even if I wanted to, I choked! Who says that won’t happen again?”

“It’s called stage fright, and it happens to everybody.” Minal’s glare could have set fire to the bed, clouds and all. “You can’t let that stop you. The more we know about what we’re working with here, the better your chances of winning.”

Sheetal felt even worse. Some friend she was, jealous that Minal got to have all the fun, and here Minal was looking out for her like she always did.

Minal plunked the lunch tray down in front of her. “Anyway, you might want to eat. They say it’s good for you.”

“Okay, Mom.” Sheetal rolled her eyes, but it did feel nice to be looked after, and anyway, she’d only picked at her breakfast. On top of that, her panic attack had left her ravenous. She could eat two giant trays’ worth of food. No, three. She dug in.

Once the contents of the tray were safely packed away in her stomach, she started rolling Minal’s advice over in her head, poking at it. Dad was safe; Nani had sworn on it. And whatever Nani’s agenda, even she probably couldn’t swear a sham oath on their flame.

For the first time, Sheetal really looked at the room and all its elegant furnishings. At her couture-quality clothes and jewelry. At the silver serving tray that held the remnants of her hastily scarfed meal. At her best friend, so sparkly and in her element. She’d been so busy rushing to find a way to save Dad that she hadn’t stopped to appreciate any of it.

She was still afraid, still so scared for Dad, and the guilt of burning him would always be branded on her heart. But, the spark at her core insisted, she could sing. She could play. So what if Priyanka had overheard her botched rehearsal?

Only the competition counted.

Besides, something deep inside her whispered, making her palms tingle deliciously, it was a chance to finally be seen. “So what’d Padmini and you talk about while I was gone, anyway?”

“Mostly just fabric patterns and how proud you’re going to do your house.” Minal frowned. “Oh, right—there’s some kind of fancy library we definitely have to go see. It’s in your schedule.”

That got Sheetal on her feet. “Fancy library?” How could she have forgotten that was here?

“Yeah, it’s ordered by color or something? I didn’t really get it.”

Gears whirred in her mind. “Okay, fine, you’re right. I should do this my way. Let’s go to the library. What better place to figure out what it means to be a star than with books?”

Minal didn’t budge. “What about your schedule? Don’t you have something now?”

Sheetal opened her schedule booklet, which Padmini must have tucked beneath the lunch tray. Next up was her session on the history of the competition, followed by hands-on stellar instruction with Nani and Nana in their suite of apartments. Like Minal had said, she’d be going to the library, but not until tomorrow, when she had a class on court etiquette.

But so far this hadn’t been about Sheetal at all, only about what she could do for everyone else. What Dad needed from her. What her nakshatra needed from her.

What about what she needed?

“Just a quick trip,” she said. “I’m sure Padmini can fill me in on the competition’s history later.”

Faint lines appeared between Minal’s brows. “Why not wait? It’s only one day.”

Sheetal searched for the words to explain. “You want me to make this mine.” She wandered over to the window and stared at the vastness of the sky, all that blue, a brilliant pane of leaded glass that went on forever. “To own it. But you know your family’s history. Your heritage. I have no clue about mine. Like, I don’t know, what do we do for starry holidays?” She laughed. “Do we even have holidays?”

“I get that,” Minal said quietly.

“Honestly,” Sheetal said, turning back around, “who says Nani or my mom is actually going to tell me the truth, not just what they want me to think? What if . . . what if this is my only chance to learn about the court? About my family? I have to take it.”

“Awesome.” Minal smiled. “Do what you need to do.”

Sheetal’s stomach rumbled again. That panic attack must have seriously sapped her. She nibbled some of the chevdo Radhikafoi had packed before stuffing the Ziploc into her messenger bag. “Let’s go sing some ragas.”

The library was in the heart of the palace, not too far from the central court and their own quarters.