Spoiler Alert (Spoiler Alert #1)(90)

Lustful and lovestruck and speechless. That was how he felt when they made love, and how he probably looked too.

April’s body was perfect exactly as it was. Brent Whittier could go fuck himself.

“I had no idea that was the crux of your estrangement with your father.” After one last tender stroke of her hair back from her forehead, he shifted fully back into his own seat and put the car in drive. “I knew it was an issue with some of your dates, but not with him. I really am sorry.”

At first, she didn’t respond. Tipping back her head, she closed her eyes. His guess: worn out by all the upheaval, she’d be asleep within thirty seconds.

Then, when they were almost out of the parking lot, she seemed to register his words.

Her eyes blinked open, and she put a hand on his arm, stopping him from pulling out onto the road. He braked, then turned to her again.

“What’s wrong?”

Was she still too cold? Did she want to get out of the car and sit on one of the park’s sunlit benches together?

“Marcus . . .” Her brow was pinched. “How did you know I’d been fat-shamed by dates before?”

His hard swallow seemed to echo in his ears.

Fuck. Fuck.

Some of her exes had been assholes to her because of her body, but she’d never told him that. At least, she’d never told Marcus that.

In fact, she’d only ever broached the topic of dickish dates once in his presence. Namely, when she’d posted about fat-shaming on the Lavineas server, and he’d read the post and responded. As BAWN.

He opened his mouth. Pinched it shut again.

The choice lay before him. He could lie. He could say he’d deduced the existence of horrible exes, based entirely on that whole gym-and-buffet misunderstanding from months ago.

Or he could come clean. At long last, he could stop hiding the truth from her.

He knew which choice a good man, a good partner for her, would make. But he also knew something else with a certainty that sickened him.

If he’d told her the truth entirely of his own volition, he might have had a chance to salvage things. Only admitting his lie of omission now, after he’d been caught—that was the part she wouldn’t be able to forgive.

April, who cared only about the truth beneath all the pretty lies, was never going to trust him again, and he couldn’t blame her. He didn’t.

But he still needed to explain, to try, because he loved her, and she deserved the truth. No matter whether she still loved him after he told her. No matter whether she’d ever loved him to begin with.

“Marcus?” She didn’t sound sleepy anymore. Not in the slightest.

Dropping his chin to his chest, he tried to ignore the acid climbing his throat and breathed shallowly through his mouth. If his sudden nausea got any worse, though, he’d have to open the car door to spare her upholstery.

Without a word, he backed up, up, up, until they’d reached the far, empty corner of the lot once more.

With every inch he reversed, April straightened in her seat. Grew more alert, her gaze sharp as a blade against his throat.

Then they were parked, and he was almost out of time.

One last look, while she still trusted him. One last stroke of her cheek. One last moment hoping that maybe—maybe, despite everything he knew about her—she would accept his heartfelt apologies and they could still have a relationship.

Her skin was icy. And now, so was his.

“I’m Book!AeneasWouldNever,” he said.





Lavineas Server DMs, Six Months Ago

Unapologetic Lavinia Stan: I feel bad. Well, kind of. Kind of not.

Book!AeneasWouldNever: ???

Unapologetic Lavinia Stan: I was a bit snippy with AeneasFan83 just now, in her thread about the “historical inaccuracy” of non-white people in the show. But honestly, BAWN, does she think POC were a Victorian invention?

Book!AeneasWouldNever: I’ll look at the thread in a minute, but I have faith that if you were snippy, she deserved it. Especially since her take is total bullshit.

Unapologetic Lavinia Stan: THANK YOU

Book!AeneasWouldNever: I’m here to defend your snippy honor whenever needed.

Unapologetic Lavinia Stan: To be fair, I was already upset before the whole POC-wouldn’t-have-been-in-Europe-even-though-there-is-a-shitload-of-contemporaneous-proof-they-totally-fucking-were conversation, and I probably took that out on her.

Unapologetic Lavinia Stan: And just to be clear, even if there weren’t people of color back then in Europe (AND THERE WERE), our show featured a fucking PEGASUS, so sit down with your hot, racist take on historical accuracy, lady.

Book!AeneasWouldNever: Another excellent point.

Book!AeneasWouldNever: So what was already upsetting you before you saw the thread?

Unapologetic Lavinia Stan: It’s kind of a long story.

Book!AeneasWouldNever: You don’t have to tell me. Ignore the question.

Unapologetic Lavinia Stan: No, it’s okay.

Unapologetic Lavinia Stan: Without going into too much detail, I met a friend for dinner, and she disappointed me.

Unapologetic Lavinia Stan: I thought she accepted me the way I am, but Unapologetic Lavinia Stan: She wants to fix me. Improve me.

Book!AeneasWouldNever: WTF?

Unapologetic Lavinia Stan: She had to speak up, BAWN. Out of CONCERN.

Book!AeneasWouldNever: I’m certain you already know this, but: You don’t need to be fixed or improved. You’re perfect just the way you are.