Silver Tears(35)

Although Sebastian had visited me in the night again several times, he had been very friendly toward me some days. Like he used to be. When it was us against the world.

Maybe, I thought to myself, the outing was a way of apologizing. Setting things right. I wanted to see it like that. Wanted to forget. For things to be like they were before the door to my bedroom had opened that night.

The island we were bound for was called Yx?n and it was uninhabited.

The sailboat was called Marika and it belonged to Roger’s dad.

We assembled on the jetty at nine o’clock that morning. It was a Friday. Tomas and Roger arrived fifteen minutes later dragging a bag, a tent, and four crates of beer. We climbed aboard. Roger was big and taciturn. He answered only when spoken to, but he seemed like a gentle giant. Kind but stupid. He always stayed close to Tomas, as if watching over him like some kind of bodyguard.

Roger passed a beer to Sebastian, who opened it and took a couple of gulps. Sebastian had never drunk in front of me, but I didn’t want to make him uncomfortable in front of his friends by pointing that out. So I remained silent. I sat down in the bow, pulled my legs up to my chest, and stared out to sea as we cast away.



I didn’t dare look at Tomas. I felt his eyes on me and tried to pretend not to notice. There was something suave about him. It always felt as if he would be more at home in the big city. Perhaps it was because his parents were rich—at least by the standards of Fj?llbacka—and his mom placed great emphasis on the right look; she spent a lot on his clothes. Today he was wearing beige shorts and a white polo shirt. Sitting close to me, he was the most beautiful thing I’d ever seen.

“Want one?” said Tomas, proffering a beer.

“Is there enough beer to go around?” said Sebastian.

The fact that he had been kinder of late didn’t mean he was kind. He was standing there holding a cigarette in his hand. I was not used to seeing him smoke.

“No reason Matilda can’t have a beer,” said Tomas. “We’ve got loads with us.”

I took the can. Smiled. But still didn’t dare meet his gaze. Perhaps I would meet someone like Tomas when I moved to the city.

I had saved up some money working part-time in a patisserie. Every krona I earned was going toward leaving Fj?llbacka.

The beer tasted bitter and I made an effort not to grimace. But after forcing myself to drink half a can, a warmth began to radiate from my stomach and I began to relax. The more I drank, the better the warm beer tasted.

“Thanks, by the way,” I said suddenly, feeling a new boldness as I looked Tomas in the eyes for the first time.

“Thanks for what?” he said, grinning.

“You helped me the other week when I dropped my books.”

“It was nothing. It was that dickhead Stefan who tripped you up, right?”

I nodded and Tomas passed me another beer.

“Don’t worry about those inbred morons,” he said, the shimmer of the sea in his eyes.

I was surprised that Sebastian didn’t interrupt to say something self-important, but when I looked over at him I saw that he was lying on the seats with his eyes shut. He appeared to have fallen asleep. I was suddenly embarrassed. I could feel Tomas’s eyes on me.



Hope fluttered in my breast.





The black Mercedes pulled over on G?tgatan and Faye paid before getting out.

The sun was shining, making the rooftops of S?dermalm and the distant Globen arena shimmer beautifully. A busker’s electric guitar whined mournfully.

Faye made her way through the crowds to the Muggen café. She stopped a little way off and tried to see inside the dark venue. The interior décor comprised worn-out sofas and armchairs in an array of colors and fabrics. On the walls, there were old paintings in gilded frames without any discernible theme or intention behind them.

Just as she was about to cross the street, she caught sight of a face inside that she recognized. But it wasn’t Ylva, it was the police officer Yvonne Ingvarsson. Her heart skipped a beat when she realized that the person the policewoman was speaking to was Ylva.

Faye quickly moved inside a stuffy convenience store and sat down on a bar stool at the counter in the window. From here she had a view of the door of the Muggen café.

Yvonne’s snooping was getting increasingly intrusive. Although Ylva had taken Jack away from her, Faye had won him back. She had secretly filmed them screwing and sent the footage to Ylva. Then she had crushed both Ylva and Jack. Ylva didn’t know anything that could hurt Faye, but her animosity posed a genuine risk. Right now, it was even more important to win her over to Faye’s side.



After five minutes, Yvonne left the café. Faye stood and waited a moment before crossing the street and opening the door to Muggen.

Ylva was standing behind an old-fashioned cash register that was clearly there for decorative purposes rather than functionality, since a small sign informed patrons that the café was cashless. Her hair was up in a chignon and a tight black T-shirt was stretched across her boobs. Two people were in front of Faye in the line, and Ylva processed them quickly and efficiently.

Finally, it was Faye’s turn. Ylva gasped when she caught sight of her.

“A coffee and a cheese and ham sandwich, please.”

Ylva nodded and prepared Faye’s order.

“That’ll be…” Ylva coughed. “That’ll be eighty-nine kronor.”