Shipped(74)

Rocking back on my heels, I stare at her in openmouthed horror. I thought maybe he’d cheated on her, or vice-versa, and that’s why they broke up.

I didn’t think it was anything like this.

“He apologized right away. In fact, he’s been sending me apology texts every day since. But it scared the crap out of me, and that’s why I left.”

I pull myself up to sit next to her on the bed. “Look at me.” She doesn’t move. I grab her arm and shake it. “Look at me.” Her head pivots and her wide blue eyes meet mine. “Keith is an abusive, controlling asshole. He thinks he gets to decide when and how you cut your hair? No. He doesn’t. And I bet he also has strong opinions about your clothes, friends, and the way you spend your free time, doesn’t he?”

Snuffling, she nods.

“Walsh, that’s abuse. And he was escalating. If you stayed with him, he wouldn’t have missed next time. He would have hurt you.”

“I don’t know… he’s been so apologetic. Like what he did scared him too…”

I gather her hand in both of mine and squeeze. “No.” I shake my head. “He’s not sorry. He’s only sorry you got wise to him and left. Abusers don’t stop. If you go back to him now, he will hurt you, I promise.” My voice cracks and I swallow a wave of emotion.

Her face scrunches and her eyes dart wildly. “But what if I fail and can’t hack it on my own? What if I can’t get a job or help you pay rent or—”

“Walsh, you have me. I will always be there for you, no matter what. You don’t need him.”

A sob escapes her in a hiccup.

“You’re right,” she croaks. “You know deep down, I think I knew what Keith was all along. What does that say about me?”

“No, no you couldn’t have known,” I say, but she keeps going.

“I mean, he was just so charming. Taking me to expensive restaurants all the time. Helping me pay my rent. He made me feel special. But on the other hand, nothing I ever did was good enough. He always found a way to tear me down. But then he’d do something so over the top, like invite me to move into his penthouse apartment or buy me a thousand-dollar pearl necklace and I’d think I was crazy for ever feeling like he wasn’t such a nice guy.”

“Because he’s a master manipulator. You are so brave for leaving him and I am so proud of you for recognizing the danger you were in. Don’t ever talk to him again. Never, okay? In fact, here.” Gently, I pry the phone from her bloodless fist. Working slowly so she can see exactly what I’m doing, I tap through the necessary set of commands.

With my thumb hovering over the screen, we lock eyes. After three shaky breaths, she nods. I tap block, and Bad News Bears disappears. Hopefully forever.

“There.” I drop her phone onto the bed beside me. “That man is poison. And you deserve so much better.”

Walsh’s chin quivers as tears cascade down her pink cheeks. “Henley… you have no idea how much I needed to hear you say that.”

We both completely dissolve. Gathering her in my arms, I rub slow circles up and down her back as she sobs against my shoulder. My own tears fall, trickling into my hair.

“How did I not know about any of this?” I whisper.

Walsh swipes a wrist across her nose. “Because it’s hard to get a hold of you. And sometimes, even when I do…” She trails off.

“What?” I urge.

“Well, I feel like I’m talking to a robot. Like you’re only half there because you’re thinking about the next thing to check off your list. ‘Talked to Walsh—check. Now time to feed the cat.’?”

My jaw loosens and guilt floods me like a tsunami.

Because it’s true.

I can’t remember the last time I talked to Walsh where I’ve been 100 percent focused on her and not folding laundry or skimming emails or, literally, feeding the cat.

“I wanted to talk to you about Keith so many times. I just… didn’t know how.”

The anger and anxiety that has been holding me together since my fight with Graeme melts away, and the fissure inside me bursts open down to my soul.

Visions from our shared childhood cycle through my memory like a slideshow.

Walsh, a chubby three-year-old, crying because she fell and scraped her knee. I press a lopsided rainbow Band-Aid onto the spot along with a kiss.

Walsh, throwing her textbook across the room in frustration. She’s in seventh grade and failing math. I pick up the book and carry it back to the kitchen table. I open it in front of her and pull up a chair.

Walsh, getting into a screaming match with her high school boyfriend at a New Year’s Eve party. I’m visiting from college, and I tell him to get lost.

Walsh… fading into the background of my life. I graduate from college and move to Seattle. I find a job. I stop visiting as often. She calls, but I’m busy. Our talks are brief. She texts. I text a few words back. The years roll by and the distance between us grows I start an accelerated evening MBA program. I work long hours. I hardly text her back at all.



Walsh is my baby sister. And I haven’t been there for her. Not for a very long time.

And she’s not the only person I’ve pushed away. How many times have I blown off Christina when she’s invited me to lunch? And now Graeme…