She Drives Me Crazy(27)

My family learns of my new “relationship” on the first night of November. Mom and Dad and I are getting ready for college scholarship night, a boring info dump hosted by the school guidance department, when Thora throws a grenade into the mix.

“College night is for all the seniors, right?” she says, even though she already knows the answer. “I guess that means you’ll meet Scottie’s new girlfriend.”

Dad freezes in the act of pulling on his Crocs. Mom stops lint rolling the cat hair off her jacket.

“Girlfriend?” they say at the same time.

I glare at Thora, but the damage is done. I explain as sparingly as I can, but they manage to wrangle Irene’s name, description, and practically her star sign from me.

“But this is the girl you got in the car accident with!” Mom says, beaming. “And you said you didn’t like her … Now how about that for life playing a joke on you!”

“It’s like they say, Scots,” Dad chimes in. “Beautiful things can grow out of shit.”

“Buck, don’t say ‘shit’ in front of the girls,” Mom says, glancing at Daphne.

“Mom, I’m in seventh grade,” Daphne says exasperatedly. “Today I heard one of my teachers say ‘shit.’”

“What? Why?”

“He was talking about Candlehawk.”

“Oh, well, that’s different.”

“Come on, we’re gonna be late,” Dad says. “I want to meet Scottie’s new amour!”

“Are we sure we’re happy about this?” Thora asks. “I’m concerned Scottie might be suffering from Stockholm syndrome.”

“Like Sweden?” Daphne says.

“No, like Beauty and the Beast. Scottie is in love with her captor.”

“Oh, Thora, don’t be a sass monster,” Mom says, swatting her. She steers me toward the door and I shoot one last scowl at my sister. Her timing could not have been worse. I still don’t have my car back, which means I’ll have to ride with Mom, Dad, and their incessant questions.

I find Danielle and Mrs. Zander as soon as we enter the school auditorium. “Help me keep them away from Irene,” I whisper under cover of the parents talking. “Thora spilled the beans.”

Danielle rolls her eyes but finds us a row toward the top of the auditorium, sequestered away from most of the senior class and their parents. Mom and Dad make jovial conversation with Mrs. Zander, but their eyes keep wandering over the newcomers like they expect Irene to appear at my side any moment.

Thankfully, she doesn’t. I’m not even sure she’s there until I spot Honey-Belle’s bright blond braids in the middle of the auditorium. Irene is seated next to her, whispering into her ear, both her parents tucked into the seats next to her.

The info session takes about forty-five minutes. I basically hear what I already know: that my plan to attend Georgia State University will definitely make me eligible for in-state scholarships. I pretty much zone out after that, but when the guidance counselors touch on athletic scholarships, I watch Irene straighten in her chair. I wonder if her mom notices. I wonder if her mom even knows Irene wants to cheer in college.

They wrap up the session with an audience raffle. We do these a lot in Grandma Earl, always offering local treats like a coffee mug from Sweet Noelle’s or a pack of toothbrushes from Hermey Orthodontics. In Candlehawk they raffle off iPads, stock market shares, and dinner with the mayor. One time they gave away a French bulldog.

When the session finally ends, I’m out of my seat before the lights come on. “Time to go!” I say brightly, shooing my parents along.

“But your girlfriend!” Mom says.

Mrs. Zander gasps. “Scottie has a new girlfriend?”

It takes everything in me not to face-palm. Danielle looks resigned, but she saves me. “We’ll meet Irene next time, guys. I think she was—um—sick today?”

“Aw, what a waste,” my dad says. “I’ve been storing up so much Embarrassing Dad Energy.”

Danielle and I move our parents along, but they’re still casting looks over their shoulders; even Mrs. Zander has joined in with the nosiness. We spill into the lobby with the hordes of other Earlians. And just when I think we’re about to be free—

Dr. Abraham walks straight into us.

“Ancy!” Mom trills.

“Wanda!” Irene’s mom says.

Of course they remembered each other’s fucking names. And now they’re hugging.

“This is my husband—” Mom says.

“And this is my husband—” Dr. Abraham says, pulling Irene’s dad out of nowhere.

“And this is our dear friend Harmony Zander, Danielle’s mom—”

The only good thing is that Irene is nowhere to be found. Maybe she went off with Honey-Belle somewhere. Maybe she’s already left in her own car—

“Oh for fuck’s sake,” a voice mutters next to me.

Yeah. Irene is still here.

“Why didn’t you keep them moving?” she says, gritting her teeth. I should have noticed she’d walked up next to me. Her cedar perfume is getting too familiar.

“Keep them moving?” I mock. “I’m not walking a pack of dogs, Abraham.”

“Oh girls!” the moms squeal. “Look at you together!”