See Me After Class(28)

She also plays movies in the classroom . . .

Yeah, there’s a difference.

Kelvin draws a Darth Vader mask using different angles.

Greer sits back and lets the TV do the teaching.

Huge difference.

I walk over to the cooler where Keiko Seymour is filling up her water bottle.

“Keiko, how are you?”

She looks over her shoulder and greets me with a curt nod. “Pleasant, thank you.” She studies my face and says, “I’d ask how you fare, but from the corrugation in your supraorbital ridge and the discernable strain in your spinotrapezius, I speculate you’re currently labored.”

“You could say that.”

She steps to the side and screws on the top of her water bottle. “Are you appropriating a satisfactory amount of nocturnal repose?”

Am I getting sleep?

Not really.

Between worrying about Coraline and her health to . . . hell, to thoughts of Greer and if she’s doing a good job, I’m barely getting five hours.

But Keiko doesn’t need to know that.

“Good enough.”

“Good enough isn’t adequate. Eight hours is the recommended amount in order to cultivate favorable brain health.”

I slowly nod while filling up my water bottle. “Got it. I’ll be sure to work on that.”

“We’re only as sufficient as the necessities we grant ourselves.”

“And what would make someone’s pee turn blue?” I mutter to myself, capping off my water.

“Urinating a hue of blue would directly correlate to the ingestion of methylene blue, mostly harmless in a miniscule dose, but not recommended to ingest,” she says, just before her eyes widen. “Uh, I . . . I believe class is starting.”

“Hold on a second.” I step in front of her, watching as she fidgets with her glasses and avoids all eye contact with me. “What would make someone’s voice sound like a chipmunk?”

“Changing the presets on a microphone’s channel on an audio desk.” She slaps her hand over her mouth.

Nostrils flaring, I say, “And the makings of a stink bomb. Would I be able to find them in your chemistry lab?”

“Figuratively, the chemicals capable of generating the foul smell of the aforementioned stink bomb are accessible at any humdrum grocery store.”

I fold my arms over my chest. “And would you have shared this information with anyone within our faculty?”

Sticking her chin in the air, she says, “I’m afraid to say this is an abuse of your power and I refuse to partake in it. Excuse me.” She blows past me, quick, short steps until she’s gone.

Staring at the door Keiko just blew through, I conclude one thing: she’s involved. The question is, who’s she working with? No. Not just who. Why? Why have I become the object of ridicule?





Chapter Seven





GREER





Greer: Abort. Abort. Keeks cracked.

Gunner: What? How?

Romeo: When? Did she name names?

Greer: Yesterday, teachers’ lounge, by the water cooler. Arlo muttered something about blue pee and her incessant need to give facts had her crumbling in seconds. She said she didn’t name any names and removed herself as quickly as she could.

Gunner: Damn her brilliant mind.

Romeo: But no names were listed?

Greer: No. But she said he looked really suspicious. I think it’s only a matter of time.

Gunner: Shit.

Romeo: I don’t think we have anything to worry about. For being the educated man he claims to be, he’s been clueless this entire time.

Gunner: That’s true. A little Google search would have helped him out with a lot of his problems.

Romeo: We’re good. Everyone just calm down and, whatever you do, act cool.

Gunner: Like we did yesterday when he approached us about his blue pee.

Greer: What? You’re supposed to report back.

Romeo: Sorry, it was at lunch and then we had a PE disaster to attend to.

Greer: What on earth could constitute a PE disaster?

Gunner: One of the kids got into our sex ed cabinet and was sprinkling condoms all over the gym.

Greer: Huh . . . yeah, that does sound like a disaster.

Romeo: Boys were laughing, girls were horrified, lewd gestures were made, it was mayhem.

Greer: Glad you made it out alive. Now tell me how he reacted to the blue pee. Clearly that’s more important. LOL.

Gunner: Pissed off and confused. Pun intended. Called us into his classroom for man issues. Romeo and I had to have a good laugh before we went in.

Romeo: Pretty sure we’ll be winning Academy Awards for our performance.

Gunner: It was painful not to bust out laughing from the concerned look on his face.

Greer: Was he really distraught?

Gunner: Worse than all the other pranks.

Romeo: There’s always great cause for concern when you mess with a man’s prized possession. Anything that deals with the dick and you figuratively have him by the balls.

Gunner: Well played, Gibson.

Greer: Well, I think that was the grand finale on the pranks because with Keiko on the verge of short-circuiting, I can’t possibly do anything more.

Gunner: It was a good run while it lasted.

Romeo: I think you could throw something in closer to winter break just for the hell of it. Maybe something close to spring break, too, you know, keep him on his toes.