See Me(75)

They traversed the length of the Riverwalk while the setting sun slowly turned the river to gold, then leisurely browsed through whatever shops caught their interest. By the time the moon had begun to glow over the horizon, they finally stopped for dinner, and as she sat across the table from Colin, she found herself hoping that her parents would get to know this side of him, the one that made her feel comfortable and at ease. She wanted them to witness how happy she was when she was with him. On their way back to her condo, she invited Colin to brunch again, even if she wasn’t sure her parents were ready for another visit.

When they made love that night, it was slow and tender, a deliberate dance as he moved above her, whispering her name and how much she meant to him. She gave herself over to him completely, lost in the moment and lost in him. In the afterglow, she fell asleep with her head on his chest, lulled by the steady rhythm of his heartbeat. She woke up twice – once a little after midnight and the second time an hour before dawn – and in the stillness of those moments she stared at him, still amazed that they’d become a couple and more certain than ever that each of them was exactly what the other needed.





When she entered her office Wednesday morning, her first thought was that she needed to get rid of the card. She tore it into pieces and dropped them into the wastebasket, then pulled up to her office computer. Reviewing her messages, she checked whether any of her clients had mentioned sending the flowers, but found nothing.

Meanwhile, Barney was waiting for her in the conference room, and it wasn’t until nearly noon that she finally got back to her office. In her inbox she found yet another file that Barney had e-mailed, accompanied by a message suggesting she get a jump-start on it since he needed a summary by tomorrow. Which meant takeout lunch at her desk again. Glancing over at the roses, she realized she didn’t want them in her office. Grabbing the bouquet and her purse, she left the building, rounding the corner toward the garbage bins.

She heaved the bouquet into the Dumpster, and was starting toward her car when she had the sudden sense that someone was watching her. Spotting no one in her vicinity, she dismissed the feeling at first. But it grew stronger, and as she began fishing through her purse for her car keys, she glanced toward the building.

There, standing at his office window, was Ken.

She dropped her gaze toward her purse again, pretending she hadn’t noticed him. What was he doing and how long had he been standing there? For all she knew, there was someone else in his office and he was standing near the window with his back to them, but if he had been at the window when she’d walked out, he’d no doubt seen her throwing away the roses. And that wasn’t good. If he’d sent them, he was probably going to be angry; if he hadn’t, he might assume that she and Colin were on the outs. Either way, she worried that Ken just might feel the urge to drop by her office again for further discussions on whether she was really a team player.

Pulling open her car door, she was hit by a blast of heat from the sun-cooked interior, and as soon as she turned on the engine, she turned on the air conditioner. She decided to drive to the organic market, which had an amazing salad bar, and as she exited the parking lot, she checked her rearview mirror, assuming Ken would be gone.

But he hadn’t left the window. And though he was too far away for her to know for sure, she couldn’t escape the feeling that he’d been watching her all along.





Returning from the store, she parked in the same spot she’d vacated, deciding to leave the windows cracked to cool the interior. Ken’s car was already gone, and if history was any indication, he wouldn’t be back until one thirty or so. Relieved, she tried to settle into work. Between the roses, the message, and now Ken, she felt ready to collect her things and go home. Maybe she could feign a migraine and leave early… but what was the point? Barney would still expect her to complete the work, and even at home, she knew she’d continue to obsess over the day’s events.

You will know how it feels.

How what feels?

Because she’d rejected Ken’s advances, was he planning to make her work life even more miserable?

If so, what would that mean?

She tried to force the questions away while putting together a time line relating to a customer who’d been injured in a fall and was suing a department store. It would take most of the afternoon, and as she began to jot down notes, she observed that her entire profession was part of a giant game in which the object was to amass billable hours, making attorneys the only guaranteed winners.

It was a cynical view, but how else could she explain how she was always so busy despite the fact that justice was anything but swift? She was still working on cases that had been initially filed years ago, and the case Barney had just assigned her had no chance of reaching the courtroom for at least eighteen months. And that’s if things went smoothly, which was virtually impossible, since things never went smoothly. So why did Barney need the time line by tomorrow? What was so urgent?

At the back of her mind, she kept picturing Ken as he’d watched her. She wasn’t going to let him blindside her again if he dropped by to supposedly discuss her career. She decided to keep her office door wide open even though the ambient office noise tended to distract her. That way, if Ken did decide to pay her a visit, she’d have a few extra seconds to prepare.

From her window, it was possible to see Ken’s parking spot. Predictably, the man drove a red Corvette, and at one thirty on the dot, he pulled in. She half expected him to drop by as soon as he entered the building, but to her relief, he didn’t appear. Nor did he swing by later, even to visit the paralegals. When he remained a no-show at five, she reminded herself not to stay late. She closed down her MacBook and gathered paper copies of her files, loading it all into her bag. Peeking out the window, she did a quick double take when she realized that Ken’s car was already gone for the day.