Secret Lucidity(45)

He takes my hand in his and slides it down between our bodies.

“I don’t . . . I don’t know how—” I stammer when he wraps my fingers around him.

“You feel what you do to me?” he says before he starts to move my hand slowly up and down the length of him.

I lean my head into the curve of his neck as he shows me how to touch him. He’s hot and smooth against my palm, and when he lets go of a heady moan, an unfamiliar pleasure aches between my legs.

His hand stays on mine as he continues to guide me, and when one second falls into another, he slips his hand off mine. I gasp when he touches me between my legs and runs his finger along my opening, but not inside.

“Has anyone ever touched you like this?” he asks, refraining from going inside of me.

“No.” My response comes as an almost inaudible sigh.

I remain tucked in the curve of his neck as my body quivers in his hand.

The air grows thick around us while he intensifies the pleasure growing inside me, and when he rolls me to my back, he reaches over to grab another condom out of the nightstand.

“Are you sure about this?”

“Yes.”

Once he makes certain we’re protected, he settles between my thighs before taking himself in his hand.

Trepidation resurfaces, and when he presses against my opening, he urges, “Wrap your arms around me,” and I do, crossing them around his neck as my thighs tense against him. “Baby, you have to try to relax, or it’s going to hurt you. You love me, right?”

I nod.

“Tell me.”

“I love you, David.”

He pushes in a little more.

“Go slow, okay?” I tell him, and he gives me a slight nod before kissing me.

It takes me a moment, but when my legs finally fall open to him, he pushes inside of me in one swift thrust. I cry out in a yelp of pain and grab on to him more tightly. The burn of him stretching me takes me by surprise, and I shift slightly to attempt to alleviate the discomfort.

“Are you okay?” His voice is tender with concern.

I nod slowly as my body adjusts to both welcome and unwelcome sensations.

He remains unmoving inside of me and drops his head down to my chest with an emotional, “God, you’re perfect.”

I tremble beneath him, overwhelmed by the intense closeness I’m feeling right now.

He whispers his I love yous against my skin, and when he asks again if I’m okay, and I tell him I am, he begins to move. He’s gentle and unrushed, allowing me to get used to him, and we’re so close that I can hear his breaths as they begin to grow heavier.

Apprehension loops around my self-consciousness like a snare. I’m scared to move with him for fear that I’ll disappoint. So, I remain still.

Every pump of his hips delivers a pleasurable uncomfortableness, and when he shifts, creating a new position inside me, I wince against the pressure.

“Am I hurting you?”

I don’t respond, only assuring I’m okay when I kiss him, needing his taste because I want more of him.

His hand grazes along my side and down behind my knee before he lifts my leg and drapes it over his hip so he can turn us to our sides. Holding my face in his hands and resting his forehead against mine, his body rocks back and forth. And when the snare snaps and apprehension gives way to need, I don’t resist the urge to make love to him myself. My body is unsure of what it needs as I move against him. I’m hesitant at first, but when he moans a passionate, “Oh, God,” my body eases and begins to sway with his.

The room fills with our uncontrollable breaths of pleasure. David bands his arms around me, pinning my chest against his as the two of us find our rhythm together. There isn’t an inch on my body he leaves untouched as we make love.

Time no longer exists in this room as we give ourselves to each other. So, I hand all of myself over to him, trusting he’s strong enough for the both of us. And from this moment on, I know neither one of us will ever be the same.





“I HATE THAT IT HAS to be like this,” I tell David as I walk out to the garage.

“We have six months until you graduate.” He leans into me, pressing my back against the car as he gives me a flirtatious smirk. “You’ll grow tired of me when you realize you miss all the sneaking around.”

I roll my eyes. “Doubtful.”

His face straightens, ditching the humor when he pulls me against him. “Everything’s going to be okay. I’m not going anywhere.”

I soften against his strong embrace; I’d linger in it forever if I could. David rests his chin on top of my head, cradling me close. After Thursday night, I decided to stay for the rest of the break. I couldn’t leave him, not after what had happened between us.

But it just wasn’t that night. We made love when we woke up the following morning, and we haven’t been able to keep our hands off each other since. Each time we’re together, I relax a little more, lose myself a little more, and love him a little more. It’s been awkward for me though because I haven’t been able to orgasm, but with his comforting words, he’s tempered my insecurity about it. He’s assured me we’d get there with time.

David drops a kiss in my hair, and when I look up at him, I see all I ever want to see in his blue eyes, which sit on the brink of silver right now.