Secret Heir (Dynasty #1)(74)
“For what?” I say finally.
His hands reach out to cup my face then, his fingers achingly gentle against my cheekbones. I feel the touch in every fiber of my body. Then when his gaze locks with mine, I feel the entire universe falling away.
“For wanting what I want,” he replies finally, his voice barely a whisper in the space between us.
“I shouldn’t want you. I can’t want you. But I don’t think I care anymore, because I can’t stay away from you, Jaz.”
His words floor me and I feel like I can’t breathe as I look at that impossibly beautiful face.
“I want you. I want you so much.”
I’m stunned speechless as I stare back at him. He drops his hands from my face and takes my hands in his.
I think he’s going to kiss me and I don’t think I would stop him. But he sits next to me on the bed instead.
“Can I stay here with you? Tonight?” he asks.
I can hear my sharp intake of breath, because I’m not sure what he’s asking.
“Just sleeping,” he says quickly.
“I just want to sleep next to you tonight.”
No, should be my answer, but something else comes out of my mouth.
“Okay,” I say quietly.
He kicks off his shoes and shrugs off his tux jacket but is still fully clothed as he stretches out on the bed next to me. I hesitate at first, then reach over him to turn off the lamp, before lying back.
We lay in silence for what seems like an eternity.
I don’t know what possesses me to do what I do next, but I shift over to rest my cheek on his chest. I hear his breath hitch in response, but a moment later his arms are around me and I let myself feel his strength, let his warmth seep into my bones, let it chase the cold away.
He presses his lips against my hair, breathing me in and at his next words, I feel my own sharp intake of breath.
“God, you were so beautiful tonight. I think I’ll remember the way you looked tonight for the rest of my life.”
I try to shut the words out, but I feel them wrapping around my chest all the same.
I don’t know how long we lie together like that, only that sometime later, sleep finally comes and there’s a stillness in me when I let it claim me.
I wake up to the feeling of warmth and sunlight. Strong arms surround me, holding me, keeping me safe. It’s not a feeling that I’m used to—I’ve been alone for so long, never allowing myself to need anyone to give me that safety and comfort. As I let myself lie there in Raph’s arms, I let him do all of those things. I tell myself it’s because I’m barely awake, but part of me knows it’s because I’m tired of the cold, my body craves his warmth and in that moment, I let myself give in to that. I don’t allow myself to think about what’s happening or what will happen. I shut out the questions and rational thoughts, because it feels like none of those things belong in this moment.
I shift in his arms so that I’m facing him and when he opens those vivid blue eyes, I forget to breathe for a moment.
Neither of us says anything for a long while as we lie there in each other’s arms, gazes locked, bodies entwined, and it’s probably the most intimate thing I’ve ever experienced in my entire life.
The morning sun is streaming in through the floor to ceiling windows, touching everything with its warmth. But Raph glows with a light all of his own. Everything about him is golden—the perfect hue of his golden skin, his sexily dishevelled ash blond hair like a halo surrounding him and that smile, which in that moment, is devoid of its usual arrogance, is so beautiful, that it’s impossible to look at without losing all coherent thought.
I didn’t realize how much I’d been working to block out the effect that he has on me, until I let myself feel it all in that moment. His very presence makes every fiber in my being come alive and everywhere we touch, I feel the fire. Like that very first day on the beach, I get the feeling like I’ve been sleep walking until now and looking at him is like waking up.
I realize that I, on the other hand, must look like an utter mess. I’m still wearing the red dress from last night. But I’m also still sporting last night’s make-up and I can bet that the smoky eye look has probably now turned into more of a panda-eye look. But the way that Raph is looking at me, those heated blue eyes traveling every inch of my face, as if trying to memorize every detail, makes me forget about all of that just then.
I remember his words from last night—you’re so goddamn beautiful, Jaz, it’s almost unreal.
I’ve always thought that about him but I couldn’t even begin to imagine that he thought the same about me. Suddenly, the memory of everything that he said to me last night comes flooding back and I don’t think I can lie there with him a minute longer without feeling like I’m going to burst into flames or something equally embarrassing.
“I should probably jump in the shower and wash this gunk off my face,” I say finally, breaking the silence.
A mischievous grin plays on those sensuous lips and before he can make a lewd remark, I leap out of my bed and head straight for my en-suite, shutting the door firmly behind me. Yeah, I’m definitely in need of a cold shower.
When I emerge from the bathroom, freshly showered and feeling a little more rational, I find Raph stretched out on my bed, looking like he’s also just showered and changed last night’s tux for a grey t-shirt and faded jeans.