Say You Won't Let Go Google(4)

I’m not some doe-eyed girl staring at the bright lights anymore. I’ve spent years doing the grind and somehow making it work. It’s never easy, but nothing worth a damn is.

Vince releases a huge sigh as I come to side stage. Everything is all set up for our small opening act. One day I’ll get the big lights with crazy props, but for now, we have a few special effects and me center stage.

“Ready?” the production manager asks.

I nod and head out with my hand raised.

This is the moment that I live for. I get in front of the microphone. “How y’all doin’, Texas? I can’t hear you!” I taunt them a little. The crowd yells, and I smile. “Better, better. Are y’all ready for a good time?” They scream. “I’m Emily Young, and I hope you came to party with us!”

I glance back at Vince, who taps us off.

I start singing our opening number, which is catchy and lighthearted. I like to change our set list every couple of shows and see which the crowd likes more. It seems this one always gets people on their feet. This is also the list that got me bumped to the better position in the lineup. Luke has two bands that open for him. Originally, I was the first, but he found another small band, and I got moved to the coveted second slot. Dreaming about singing for a living usually ends when you wake up not dreaming bigger.

We move through a few more songs, and tonight is one of the best shows I’ve had so far. Some sing along here and there, but the crowd is alive. They’re dancing in their seats or waving their hands, and there’s just something driving me to entertain more than normal.

My heart skips a little when I see Cooper front and center. Ginny actually listened. How the hell did she work that fast? I smile and wink as I keep singing, scanning the crowd and doing my best not to look at him again. However, my eyes keep finding their way back to him.

As the show wears down, it’s time for my big moment. My favorite part of the show—when I can sing “Don’t Call Me Darlin’.” It’s a deep, soulful song that talks about a woman trying to love a man who doesn’t love her back. It’s very much based on my best friend Grace. There’s something about this song that just calls to me. Knowing you can be hurt at the same time as you’re saved. It’s full of hope and pain.

The lights go deep blue, and everything is dark. I told Vince and the rest of the band I wanted to sing this one tonight acoustic.

I strum the chords and close my eyes.

“Don’t tell me it’s too late,” I croon.

“I won’t give up that easy.

Don’t call me darlin’ and tell me that you’re leavin’.

Don’t walk away.

Stop pushing me when you know you want to hold on.

It could be so easy for us, baby.

I’ve been here, but you don’t see me.

Don’t let go if you’re not ready for me to walk away.”

I sing the lyrics from deep inside me, trying to convey the true pain in Grace’s heart at the time. I’ve always believed the best songs are what you know. I may not know pain like that, but when my eyes find a pair of green eyes I spent hours staring into last night, I feel exposed. Suddenly, the song about heartbreak and pain morphs into another meaning.

“Don’t let go if you’re not ready for me to walk away.”

Cooper looks at me, and I sing to him. It’s as if no one else is here.

Not the ten thousand other people staring up at me.

No one else exists but us.

This time, the lyrics are about a woman who wants something she probably can’t have. It’s about a life that might never exist for her, but she wants him even if she shouldn’t.

I finish the song, letting the final chord fade as the crowd erupts. My eyes finally move from his, and I do my best to recover. I feel shaken and raw. There is a vulnerability that I’ve never experienced until just now.

I smile, wave, and give a small bow. “Thank y’all so much!” I move around the stage, grabbing hands with fans. I thank everyone again and raise my hand as I stride off stage.

“Holy shit, Emily!” Vince wraps his arms around me and spins me around. “You were amazing tonight! I’ve never seen you like that.”

“That was nuts! I don’t know what came over me.” I laugh as he puts me down.

I’m lying. I know exactly what came over me. It was Cooper.

“Well, whatever it was, do that at every show. I think you should sing that song acoustic from now on. I can’t believe how fucking intense that was.”

Ginny eyes me, and I’m pretty sure she has a guess about what the difference was. She studies me and releases a heavy sigh. “It was a great show, and there were two record producers in the front row. Good night to perform at the top of your game. I’ll be sure your friend makes it through security.” Ginny turns, takes two steps, and then pivots back. “Wait. Before I forget. This was left for you last night. Probably fan mail that somehow made it backstage. Anyway, it has your name on it.” I smile my thanks, tucking the envelope into my guitar case.

I’m on the tour bus, trying to get my stomach to stop flip-flopping. Am I being stupid? After what I felt during that song, I can’t see him. Maybe Ginny was right when she said that I’ll end up some small-town girl after all. If Cooper is the man who will hold me back, I can’t go there. I won’t allow myself to end up like my mama. My heart is racing so fast I’m sure it’s going to fly out of my chest. When the hell did that song become anything about me? Ugh. I’m not answering the door when he comes.