Royals (Royals #1)(72)

“Don’t ‘mate’ me,” he says, and I wrinkle my nose.

“Word choice,” I mutter, but Seb—who has managed to keep his disastrous life private for all this time—is now on a roll.

“It just doesn’t make any bloody sense,” he says plaintively. Throwing one hand out at me, he all but cries, “You didn’t want me, and you picked Monters of all people.”

I open my mouth, but Seb just waves off anything I was about to say. “Oh, don’t give me that ‘it’s just for show’ thing. The two of you have been making sex eyes at each other since day one.”

My face flames hot, and I make a startled noise. “Have not!” I reply, and Miles is spluttering, too.

“Daisy and I only . . . recently realized th-that we—”

“Oh, stuff it, Monters,” Seb says, placing his hands on his hips. “I’m not blind. But then Daisy’s friend calls me a wanker, now Tamsin prefers Flora, and am I not the good-looking one? Am I not on a million bleeding bedroom walls all over this country? I just . . .” He shakes his head, and I look over at Dons, who is giggling into his cider.

“Who let him get this drunk?” I ask.

Dons shrugs. “Sherbet’s not here, Spiffy’s laid up with his ankle, Gilly’s on the field, Monters has been too wrapped up in you to notice what Seb is up to, sooooo . . .” He pokes at his own chest and grins brightly. “Me! I did!”

Laughing, he slaps Seb on the back. “But it’s good! Man deserves to let his hair down.”

I don’t point out that Seb is not so much letting his hair down as letting his feelings spew out his mouth, but then I don’t have to because Seb keeps going.

“And Ellie,” he says darkly, and now I step forward, grabbing his jacket and not caring who might be taking pictures.

“Seb, no.”

“Ellie loves Alex. Boring, stupid Alex. I!” He lifts one hand, nearly smacking me in the face. “I am the interesting brother. I b-bought her a house.”

“You tried to steal a house from a farmer, and also you’re seventeen,” I remind him.

“But I love her,” he replies, and then from behind us, I hear, “What?”

Great. Greatgreatgreat. Exactly what this moment needs.

Alex and Ellie stand there, clearly worried and confused. They’re holding hands, and I think for a second of the tableau we must all make standing there. Me clutching Seb’s jacket, Miles right beside me, Dons giggling his stupid drunk ass off.

Seb’s chest rises and falls underneath my hands as he takes a deep breath, and I hope—I pray—that he’s not— “I’m in love with Eleanor,” he announces, and we all freeze for just a second.

And then Alex—sweet, noble, quiet Alex—rears back and punches Seb right in the face.

Which is when things go crazy.





A ROYAL BRAWL!

Shocking pictures out of Scotland today as Prince Alexander and Prince Sebastian took sibling rivalry to a new—and physical!—level. While the younger Prince Sebastian’s crowd has certainly had run-ins with the press and they’re no stranger to throwing punches, the prince himself has always stayed above the fray, and his older brother is usually a model of restraint. However, it appears something sparked off a row during the McGregor Charity Polo Match. Rumor has it the two were fighting over a relationship between Prince Sebastian and Daisy Winters, younger sister of Alexander’s fiancée, Eleanor. Daisy was said to be dating Sebastian’s friend, Miles Montgomery, seen in these photos just to the right of Miss Winters, but sources tell us tension has been building between the friends for some time now.

(People, “Royal Watch”)





AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!

DID YOU GUYS.

EVER THINK.

WE’D SEE PRINCE ALEXANDER THE BORING.

THROW A PUNCH.

AT HIS BROTHER????

I did not, Crown Heads. I did not see this coming, and god bless us, every one. God bless YOU, Daisy Winters, because from what I hear, this whole thing was over her. She’s apparently caught in an honest-to-god love triangle with Seb and Miles Montgomery, and it finally erupted into an ACTUAL BRAWL! Look at that right hook Alex threw! Seb is IN THE DIRT! Poor Ellie is totally traumatized, looks like, can’t see Daisy’s face, but I bet she’s LOVING IT because hot, royal guys throwing punches over you is THE DREEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAM. In any case, this is the best day of my life. Please forward all my mail to me in heaven, thank you.

(Crown Town, “BEST DAY EVER”)





Chapter 34


I had thought the meeting after Seb’s club had been rough, but it’s nothing—nothing—compared to the post–polo debacle conference.

This time we’re not in a sitting room but at an actual table, this long slab of polished mahogany that’s been cleared of everything. Dozens of Alex’s ancestors glare down at us from the wall, and I remind myself that I could always cut them out of their frames with those special knives.

Like you guys never did anything super embarrassing and scandalous, I think as I look at a painting of a guy in a poufy white wig. At least no one ended up decapitated.

I look at Queen Clara’s face where she sits at the head of the table.