Reign the Earth (The Elementae #1)(93)

His throat worked. “Don’t joke about that, Shalia.”

“Calix, you struck me,” I told him. “Why would I let you do that to our child? Or let our child see you do such to me?”

“I’m sorry, Shalia. That’s why I did all this,” he said, sweeping his arms out over the table. “To show you I’m sorry. What I did—it won’t happen again. Never.”

Chills ran over me, and I knew the words I was about to say would anger him, but they had to be said. “Another promise. I don’t believe you, Calix,” I told him.

He stepped forward, but I skittered back. “Shalia,” he said with a sigh. “I know. I know you can’t trust my words right now, but I will make it right with you. This child is everything to me. You are everything to me, and the thought that you have been away from me—hating me for what I did to you—I’ve been sick. I can’t bear to think that I could lose you.”

There was bitterness on my tongue. “You can’t lose me. You know that I can’t leave you or turn from you. This whole apology is yet another show, another act—” I halted.

“My love,” he murmured, coming close to me and rubbing my arms, chafing warmth into my cold skin.

I pulled away from him, feeling sick at his touch.

“Shalia,” he said. “Please.”

“I don’t want you to touch me right now, Calix,” I whispered.

He stepped away, shaking his head. “Punish me all you like, my love. I more than deserve it.”

A wild hiccup rose in my chest. “Punish you?” I repeated. “Calix, I feel sick when you touch me. Because I’m afraid of you, and ashamed, and terrified for our child. And I can’t just pretend that away.”

“Striking you—letting my temper overrule my judgment—that was a grave mistake. It will never happen again. And I will spend the rest of my life making it up to you, Shalia. I promise you that.” He sighed, walking closer, and I cringed, but he went into the room.

I drew a shaky breath, trying to calm my heart, but it was short lived. He reappeared a moment later, putting a coat around my shoulders. “You’re cold, love.”

His fingers lingered long enough for me to shudder, but he pulled away before I could open my mouth. I slipped my arms into the sleeves of the coat, turning around. “Thank you.”

He stepped back. “Come. The cooks have prepared a special meal for us, and I want to prove to you that I do care for you. You’re my wife and the mother of my child, and that means something to me.”

I looked at the table, crossing my arms. “How will you do that, Calix?”

He glanced around. “All of this is for you, my love. All of it.”

“And it’s a lovely gesture. But it proves nothing.”

He reached toward my hand, but I pulled away, shaking my head.

“I know I was wrong to say that your family was the reason … well. I was wrong. I know now, that as long as you have family on this earth, you’ll love them as much as I want you to love me. It’s only natural, and more than that, it’s part of why I think you will be an amazing mother. And, well, I wanted to wait to surprise you, but I did hear you when you told me how important it was to you to go to the desert. I know there are many problems between us, and chief among them is that you think I don’t hear you, and I don’t listen to you. But I do, my love. So I think we should go to Jitra. If it means so much to you to have the baby blessed by your clan, they can gather there and bless him, yes?”

I blinked, looking up at him. “What?”

He nodded, his mouth twitching toward a smile. “Would that please you?”

My mother, pressing her hands to my stomach and smiling at me. My father, glowering at Calix and protecting me. My brothers, standing beside me always. Catryn, crawling into my bed to sleep curled against me. Little Gavan, hearing that he would be an uncle. All of us, dancing until the cavern shook to welcome my baby with joy.

I couldn’t breathe, covering my heart, relief racking me so hard it felt like pain. Calix stepped forward and halted. “It doesn’t please you,” he said.

“It does,” I told him. “It does, it does.” Drawing in a slow breath, I looked at him and nodded. “Thank you, Calix. This means the world to me.”

“I know,” he said. “I want to give you the world. I want to make you happy, Shalia, and I’ll give you all the time you need until you’re happy with me. So, will you please eat dinner with me?”

I drew a shaky breath, but I nodded. I still didn’t want his hands on me, I still didn’t trust him, but it was certainly a start.


When I woke early and alone, Zeph was at my door to take me for a walk.

Kairos was waiting for me at the cliff walk, and I smiled, shaking my head. “How do you know when I’ll be here?” I asked, delighted.

He kissed my uninjured cheek. “My sister. Always with the silly questions,” he said. “Zeph?”

Zeph sat on the step and waved us forward, relaxing in a beam of weak morning sun like a gigantic cat.

The path was just wide enough for us to walk side by side. “How are you feeling?” he asked.

My shoulders lifted. “I slept well. I just feel … worn. Tired.”

“You weren’t eating much in Trizala.”