Reign the Earth (The Elementae #1)(92)

I shook my head, walking for the mouth of the cave. “Believe me, the things that trigger my power won’t be a problem anymore. And they never were with Calix anyway.”

He caught my arm, and I pulled away. “Trigger?” he asked. “What things?”

He reached for my arm again, and I stopped. “You will not touch me when I don’t want to be touched. Do you understand that? Maybe I can’t stop your brother—and maybe for that, I’m a coward too—but you will not touch me.”

Galen stood still for a moment, and at the look in his eyes, I doubted everything I said. He looked cut open, and vulnerable, and I wanted so badly to be the one to protect him for once. To cover that vulnerability and show him he deserved to be loved.

But I wouldn’t. Not now, not if it meant running while he stood and fought. I strode for the mouth, where I saw Theron and Zeph guarding the entrance. Where they could most likely hear everything. And even if they hadn’t, I’m sure they had their guesses, or they would have come inside.

Shame burned on my face, and I nearly ran back to my chamber. Theron followed close behind, and Zeph stepped in front of Galen.

He didn’t dare yell after me with people so near, but I could feel his anger and reproach on my back. I didn’t care.

I knew that his anger would keep me safe—without his touch, without the stolen looks that irrepressibly opened my heart to his, I wouldn’t lose control of my power again. Nothing else called my power up so forcefully.

And yet it felt like the fragile thing between us had shattered, and of all the horrible things that had happened in the previous days, it was the most devastating.

It would keep me safe, and it broke my heart.





An Anthill

We returned to the City of Three long after dark on the third day. I had wanted to defy my husband’s mandate, but after fighting with Galen, I didn’t have it in me. We rode the whole day long, and by the time we returned, I could barely hold myself upright and my stomach was tight in knots at the thought of seeing Calix.

The Royal Causeway was lined with guards holding torches, and it made me shiver. Calix must have ordered them there to wait for me, like a burning sign of his displeasure, a display of his power.

At the beginning of the causeway, I stopped, causing all the guards and men around me to stop as well. I dismounted, slipping from the horse, drawing new breath when my feet struck the ground.

Kairos jumped off his own horse without a word and stood by me, half a step back. I started walking, and he walked with me, Osmost happily chirping out clicks from his shoulder.

“Shalia,” Galen called. “What are you doing?”

“We are Dragon,” Kairos said. “We are desert born. And our feet will never fail us.”

“Three hells,” I heard him mutter. “You really think it’s wise to remind him of that right now?”

Maybe it wasn’t wise, but this, with my feet on the ground, walking forward, this was how I knew my own strength. I knew the power in my feet, my legs, my muscles, my body. And the only thing I wanted when I saw my husband again, the husband I couldn’t leave, the man who terrified me and fathered my child, was to feel my own strength and know it wasn’t something he could take away.

If the guards stayed on their horses, they didn’t pass us. I could feel Galen’s steps not far behind me, and I continued up the steep rise of the causeway.

We crested the courtyard, and I released a breath I’d been holding. Calix wasn’t there, even though I was certain his guards reported that I had returned. It made the hair rise on the back of my neck, wondering what kind of confrontation awaited me.

Galen took my horse and ordered Zeph and Theron to follow me back to my room. We went in silence, Zeph moving ahead to open the door for me.

I walked over the threshold and halted.

“My queen?” Zeph asked, peering around me.

There were flower petals in a thick layer on the floor. The doors were open and the breeze ruffled the top layer of petals so they twisted and skittered over the others. They were beautiful, white and pinks and purples, and a few brushed over my feet.

Zeph turned to the guard who had stood there during the day. “Who entered the queen’s chamber?” he demanded.

“Just the king,” the guard said.

Zeph frowned, but I stepped forward, wading through the flower petals. A few were blowing outside, like they were leading me that way. “Calix?” I called.

I saw something on the balcony. Sliding my feet through the petals and letting them rush over my skin, I went out. Flower petals tumbled around a table with two chairs, more flowers, and a man with his back to me.

For a few moments I had the foolish hope that this whole life was different, that all the awful things that had come before were erased, and the husband who stood there to greet me was Galen, my brave and handsome defender, a man who would never give up even when it seemed utterly bleak.

Calix turned and smiled at me, and something inside me broke a little more.

I stopped, and Calix came to me, sliding his hand on my hip and kissing my cheek. I turned away.

He sighed and stepped back. “I know you’re angry with me, my love.”

“I’m not angry,” I told him. “I’m bruised, and betrayed, and furious. I’m confused and wondering if you’re even the kind of man I can allow near my child.”