Reign (The Sainthood - Boys of Lowell High #3)(30)

“That’s a new one for me,” I admit. “But I’m guessing it means party?”

“Yep,” he says, popping the P. He slings his arm around my shoulders. “We should get fucked up. One last hoorah before shit rains down on us.”

“I like the sound of that. I’m betting Ashley knows of a party.”

“Find out,” Saint says, “but don’t make any concrete plans. We don’t know what Sinner wants yet.”

I tap out a message to Ashley Shaw and repocket my phone, following the guys into the house via the laundry room.

Theo heads to one of the drawers in the kitchen, pulling out a bunch of takeout menus. “Pizza?” he suggests, and we all nod. He makes the call while I wander through the lower level, seeking Mom. Saint trails behind me while Caz and Galen take our bags up to the bedrooms. I open and close all the doors downstairs, but there’s no sign of life, which is odd, because Mom’s car and Sinner’s truck are in the garage.

“Have you made a decision?” Saint blurts as I poke my head in Dad’s study.

I shake my head. “I’ve only had a few hours to think about it. You need to give me more time than that.”

He shuffles awkwardly on his feet, running his hands back and forth across his shorn locks. “I’m trying to be patient, but it doesn’t come naturally.”

I smile, walking toward him. “Oh, I know that all too well, Saintly.” I clasp his face in my hands, planting a hard kiss on his lips, before I rest my brow on his forehead. “I promise I won’t take too long, but don’t rush me. This decision is too important to rush.”

He wraps his arms around me, pressing my head into his chest, and I lean against him, siphoning some of his warmth and his strength. “I don’t mean to pressure you. I just can’t help it sometimes.”

I snort, and the sound is muffled against his chest. “I never want you to change,” I supply when I feel him tensing against me. “I love you just the way you are.”

Silence filters in the tiny gap between us, and I lift my head, peering up at him. Sliding my hands up to rest on his shoulders, I smile at the shocked expression on his face. I’ve never told Saint I love him, but he’s the most arrogant of my guys, and I felt for sure he’d know it. However, there’s always been a vulnerability with Saint, so it’s not really surprising he doesn’t believe it.

I wonder if anyone has ever told him he is loved?

Sinner sure as fuck doesn’t have it in him, and he’s never known his mother.

“I love you, Saint Lennox.” My voice rings out loud and proud, and I stare deep in his eyes as I admit my truth. “I think I fell in love with you the instant our eyes connected that day at the warehouse.”

“You love me?” he splutters, and the awestruck, hopeful look in his eyes hurts me as much as it overjoys me.

“Completely and utterly.” I palm his face, bringing his mouth to mine. I kiss him softly, pouring everything I feel for him into every sweep of my lips, and his mouth moves tenderly against mine, in a way that isn’t usual, sending my heart careening around my chest.

This guy. He’s such a conundrum, but I wouldn’t change a single thing about him.

He’s perfect for me.

“For now and forever,” I add over his lips. “To the ends of time.”

“Lo.” His tone is barely louder than a whisper and dripping with emotion. “I know I fell in love with you that day we first met because you’ve consumed my thoughts from that very first second.” He threads his hands in my hair, gripping my neck, moving our faces even closer. “But I didn’t realize it until recently because I’ve never known what love feels like. You’ve shown me that.”

Tears sting the backs of my eyes, and my heart is so full it feels like it could burst.

“You own me, body, heart, and soul.” His eyes flood with adoration. “I love you too, Harlow. Always have. Always will.”

We move like magnets, clinging to one another as we kiss like we’ll never get to do it again. Our hearts beat in sync as we drink from one another, our kissing growing more heated the longer it continues, and I could happily stay here in Saint’s arms, letting his drugging kisses distract me, but I’ve got a decision to make, and I don’t want to drag it out, because that’s not fair to any of them.

Reluctantly, I break the kiss, resting my head on his chest, listening to his heart thump under my ear. “You make everything feel right, princess,” Saint whispers. “And I’ll be okay with whatever you decide.” I’m not sure if he’s trying to convince himself, or me, but, deep down, we both know that’s a lie.

I head upstairs to search for Mom, but it’s quiet up here too. They must have gone out without their cars. It’s Saturday evening, so they’re probably at dinner and planning on drinking themselves into oblivion, like usual. It’s clear Sinner only called us back out of spite, so I message Ashley, telling her we’ll meet her at the party later. One of the Lowell Academy jocks is throwing an open party, and it promises to be crazy. I could definitely use a little crazy right now.

I don’t bother unpacking, depositing my bag on the floor in my closet, hoping we get to go to the barn sooner rather than later. Lately, being around this house makes my skin crawl. The barn instantly felt like home, and I’d much rather live there. I plug my earphones in, blasting Paramore, as I flop on my bed, trying to make sense of the mess in my head.