Reckless Abandon(71)

I give her a look of understanding. As pissed as I am—and this is going to take a long time to get over—I know Leah wouldn’t have done anything to hurt me.

“And Asher? I don’t know what happened between the two of you but you were obviously hurt bad by it.” Her green eyes are downcast. “I’ve been hurt before too. But I still believe in a happily ever after. Don’t give up hope, okay?”

I nod my head. I don’t necessarily agree with her yet I understand where she’s coming from.

Crystal opens the door and is about to step out when she turns around. “You don’t like to talk about your private life and I get it. But from the looks of things, you need a friend in New York. A real friend. I won’t tell anyone what I heard. Neither will Lisa. She told you that. Let us be here for you.”

I always had friends. I never shied away from that. I have simply not wanted to talk to any of the ones I had because they reminded me of what I lost. And since I’ve come to New York I haven’t given myself an opportunity to really open up for fear of what might come out.

I give her a hug in appreciation for being a great person. “Thank you, Crystal. Maybe we’ll go out for a coffee this week.”

She smiles as she lets go of our hold. “I’d like that.”

I’d like that too. I close the door and head off to bed. I already know tomorrow is going to be a bad day.





The familiar sound of my bedroom door creaking alerts me that Leah is up. It’s almost two in the afternoon and, while I am still pissed at her, I did check on her twice to make sure she was breathing.

When I was satisfied she was alive, I retreated back to my spot at my kitchen island and continued to stew.

Leah’s footsteps are heavy, dragging what I assume is a weighted hangover. I listen as she walks slowly down the short hallway. When she rounds the wall and comes into my line of sight from the kitchen, I take in her unsightly appearance. She’s wearing a pair of pajama pants and a matching sleep shirt. I figure she put them on after waking up, as I stripped her down to her skivvies last night before putting her to bed.

Her hair is a mess of tangles and fly-a-ways, and her eyes are smudged with black liner. Pale skin and chapped lips. Leah looks, in a word, awful.

“Here,” I say, holding out a brown bag to her.

Leah takes the bag from my hand and peers inside. “You got me a bagel?” Her words are a mixture of grateful yet surprised. She should be. I’m still really upset about last night.

“Emma, I—”

“Sit down, eat, then we’ll talk.” I motion for her to take a seat on the lone stool I have at the island. I’m bossing her around like I should. I take the coffee I bought her a few hours ago and put it in the microwave. While the coffee warms up, I watch Leah eat her bagel.

“Where are the girls?” she asks in between small bites.

“Sightseeing. They tried to wake you a few times but you wouldn’t budge.”

Her eyes fold over as she rubs the temples of her forehead. “I drank way too much last night.”

I give her a curt nod and slide the coffee to her.

“I feel like this is my last meal before the electric chair.”

“It is.” I cross my arms across my body, standing over her while she’s perched on the stool.

Leah puts her bagel down on the plate and pushes it away. “Okay, let’s have it. I can’t eat with you standing over me all righteous. What do you want me to say?”

“Just to be clear, you are well aware of why I am so rightfully pissed at you, correct?”

Leah nods her head. Her words are of mild exasperation. “Yes, Emma. I was drunk and stupid, not comatose. I know why you’re upset.”

My arms fly up, out and around my body. “What the hell were you thinking, Leah?”

Placing her hands on top of her head, Leah looks down and shakes her head. “I’m not going to sit here and have you yell at me like a child.”

I march around the island, my finger pointing at her like a weapon. “A child would have more common sense.”

Leah’s head shoots up, her eyes ablaze with a look I’ve never seen on her before. My usually sweet and bubbly sister who goes out of her way to make people feel like they’re part of the party is looking at me like I’m the enemy. “Don’t you dare talk to me like that. After everything I’ve done for you. Don’t you dare!”

I stare back at her dumbfounded. “Excuse me?”

Leah stands up and walks past me, making a lap around the room and finally coming to a stand behind the chesterfield, using it as a shield.

“Don’t talk to me like I’m in the wrong here, Emma. Don’t accuse me of doing something to hurt you when I was only trying to help.”

“Help me? Leah, do you realize how much you hurt me?”

Leah’s mouth falls open, her face heaving as the breaths come pouring out. “Do you hear yourself? Do you honestly think I set out to hurt you?” Her eyes well up with tears ready to fall any second. She takes a second to breathe in order to regain composure. “You selfish bitch.”

Her words stab me in the chest and I bleed out. It’s not just the words that hurt, it’s the way she says them. My sister has never spoken to me like this before.

Leah takes a look behind her and sees the picture of Luke on the bookcase. As she stares at it, her tears start to fall, big and heavy and true.