Reckless(34)

Nothing bothered me more than Allison’s perpetual irritation with our children. She acted like they were going out of their way to personally offend her with their rambunctiousness. Even after a weekend away at that spa in Austin, she never seemed relaxed around our family.

The darkness that always sweeps through me when I think of my wife hovers like a shadow in my peripheral vision, but I don’t want to go down that road tonight. I’ve spent too much time sick over the failure of my marriage. Sitting next to my daughter and watching her vibrant smile, hearing Cody’s wild laughter when Tori tickles him, makes me realize I have a lot to be grateful for.

That’s what the last two weeks have made me realize. Seeing my kids laugh like they mean it, seeing how carefree they’re becoming again—that’s my bullseye and that’s what I want to focus on. Moving forward, not living in the past.

After we get our drinks, Logan slaps a notepad on the table I hadn’t realized he’d brought, and with a flick of a finger, he slides it to me.

“Wanna finish telling you the plan for the weekend.” Logan turns to Tori. “You mind if we chat about the ranch? We need to talk through the logistics for those two new horses we’re boarding.”

Anxiety riddles its way through my shoulders as though Allison can sense we’re talking about work at the dinner table. Old habits die hard.

But Tori gives him a sweet smile. “I don’t mind at all. I’d like to hear what you guys do.”

Logan ticks off item after item, and I jot everything down before I forget. Shit’s easy to forget when you have two kids and a barn full of horses to look after.

“So they’re not all yours?” Tori asks, looking between me and Logan. “The horses, I mean.”

I open my mouth, but my brother is already explaining. “Eight are ours, and six are boarders, and we’re adding two more to the tally.”

Tori draws her finger through the condensation on her glass of iced tea. “This is going to sound crazy, but I like the smell of the barn. I don’t know if it’s the leather from the saddles, the bales of hay, or the horses themselves. It’s this great earthy scent. I can’t explain it.”

My lips pull into a smile as I look away. I love that smell too. It’s one of my earliest memories. Playing in the barn with my dad, racing from one end to the other with my arms spread out wide. Breathing in the warmth that you can only find when you’re surrounded by these incredible animals.

Makes me miss my father so damn much.

Across from me, Logan laughs. “Honey, you are welcome to shovel that smell whenever you’re in the mood. Just let me know.”

A growl revs low in my chest. Leave it to my brother to reduce everything to a pile of manure. “She’s not shoveling shit, Logan.” Mila giggles at my dirty word, but I’m too tired to care that I’ve cursed in front of my kids. “Tori does enough for us already.”

“Take it easy, bro.” He holds his hands up. “I was joking. Mostly.”

“Yeah, well, I’m not.”

Before I can descend into a foul mood, our waitress slides giant plates of steaming chicken fried steak across the table. Thank you, Jesus.

I turn to prepare a serving for the baby, but Tori’s already cutting up Cody’s meal into toddler-sized bites.

“Want to swap seats with me?” I ask her. “That way I can feed him. Sorry, I hadn’t really thought through the seating arrangement.”

She helps him take a bite. “I don’t mind feeding the little man.”

Watching her take care of my son floods me with warmth. As we fall into easy conversation, I can’t help but sneak glances at her from time to time.

Dinner is delicious, and I’m ready to fall into a food coma when two familiar faces pop up over Tori’s shoulder.

“Hey, guys.” I wave to Brady and Kat.

Tori’s head whips around, and the smile that breaks out on her face when she sees her sister is ridiculously sweet. She hops out of her chair and gives her sister and brother-in-law quick hugs. “What are y’all doing here? I thought you were barbecuing tonight. I’m glad to see you, though, because I forgot my phone at Ethan’s, and you said to call you this evening.”

I smile. Tori remembered to pack a bag of toys and diapers and crayons for the kids but forgot her phone.

Brady drops an arm over his wife’s shoulders. “We did barbecue, but Kat wanted some pie, so we decided to make a pit stop.”

“I shouldn’t be eating pie. Trust me, I know this,” Kat says self-deprecatingly.

Brady kisses the top of her head. “You’re perfect, and if my wife and kid want pie, I’m buying them pie.”

She rubs her round belly and grins at him.

The moment between them seems so intimate as they stare into each other’s eyes, I look away.

That. That’s what I never had with Allison.

“Where’s Izzy?” Tori asks, leaning over Cody to wipe his face.

“At my parents’.” Brady motions over his shoulder. “We’re having a date night.”

Tori chuckles. “I’m coming over tomorrow, so get the ‘date night’ out of your system.”

“Oh, my God. Stop.” Kat blushes and turns her face into her husband.

“What? You’re pregnant. Like it’s a secret how that happened? Watch out! I’m gonna tell Mom and Dad you did the deed!”