Reborn (Shadow Beast Shifter, #3)(39)

Shadow’s face was a mask of death and destruction. The mask of a being who was about to destroy the world.

And I just might let him.





22





He held me for so long that time basically had no meaning. Days could have passed and yet neither of us moved. Maybe we were in competition for who could hold on the longest, and for once, it was a competition I hoped we both won.

“I’m going to need you to explain everything to me,” Shadow eventually rumbled from above. “My memory is still clouded with events that I believe have been falsely planted there to confuse me.”

It made sense that Dannie would have used different methods to mask our memories. We were all vastly unique individuals with differing powers. She was far too freaking smart, and that in and of itself was terrifying because it had only been the spell Shadow had already layered on me, and my own tenacious personality, that had kept her from fully succeeding.

“Dannie, your mother, has been corrupted by the sunburst stone,” I said, leaning back to see his face. I kind of never wanted to stop looking at his face now that it was in my life again. “She stole all of our memories to restore the balance. I was never supposed to be created, so she sent me back to Torma to be the alpha-mate—”

Shadow’s grip tightened as he slowly drew me up off my feet until we were near eye level. “To Torma? With no memories?”

I swallowed hard because his beast was so close to the surface.

His jaw tightened. “Did Torin touch you?” He said it slowly, without inflection, but the cold detachment was far scarier than shouting could have ever been.

I didn’t pretend to misunderstand what he was asking. “He never touched me sexually. I didn’t remember you, but I sure as fuck remembered what a piece of shit he was.”

There was a slight thawing in his gaze, and the grip lessened enough that feeling returned to my limbs. “Why would my mother allow you to keep those memories when she wanted this plan to succeed?”

I’d thought on this a lot during my endless cycle of overthinking last night. “I have two theories,” I said. “One, she still held some love for me, even with her transformation, and in that regard didn’t want me to be completely vulnerable against beings who had hurt me in the past.”

Shadow’s expression grew darker. “And two?”

“Two, the promise that you made to me, where I would never be vulnerable to my pack again, was a strong bond that Dannie either didn’t know about or couldn’t break. It was what allowed me to remember as much as I did and fight them off when I needed to.”

His chest was rumbling now, and with the beast hovering close by, I had to calm the situation. “Shadow,” I said firmly, drawing all of his attention to my face. “Thanks to you, I’ve never touched, fucked, or orgasmed from any man except you.”

That was exactly what he wanted to hear, and when his lips met mine, a sigh so deep, it was near a groan escaped. “How the fuck…?” I murmured against his lips. “Dannie must be scary powerful to make me forget you.”

Shadow didn’t like that reminder, his kiss turning harder, and my brain went on a little vacation from thought. “My beast knew you,” he finally said, his voice a husky rumble. “Even if I didn’t remember, my instinct knew you were mine. Nothing in any world would have gotten through to me except you, Sunshine. I need you to know that.”

I nodded, my lips trembling again. “I know. I felt that so fiercely, and as soon as I remembered, I came for you.”

His body stiffened, and it was clear that what I’d just said bothered him. “I should have been strong enough to remember you.”

I wrapped my arms tighter around him, holding on with all of my strength. “The only reason I remembered was because of your spell. You did save me… or more accurately, we saved each other.” He didn’t appear satisfied by this response, so I pushed on. “More so, you did remember me without any outside help. You destroyed every damn doorway from this place except the one to Earth. There was only one reason you’d have done that.”

Shadow made a disparaging sound. “Maybe that was for the shifters.”

I wrinkled my nose at him. “Don’t even try to play. You love me. I knew it from the first time you threw me over your shoulder.”

He went very still, blinking down at me, and I wondered if maybe I’d gone too far. I mean, I had been joking around, and while I knew I loved him, Shadow had never been particularly forthcoming with those exact words. It didn’t matter to me because actions spoke much louder, and his told me that I was important to him.

“Love,” he repeated, and I didn’t bother to look away or be embarrassed. If he didn’t love me, it wouldn’t break me. Mostly because he’d get there eventually. My plan to grow on him like some sort of exotic fungus was in full swing.

“Love is a human word,” he rumbled. “A human word they throw around with such careless abandon.”

Where was the lie? Torin had told me he loved me more than once, and I knew for a fact that he didn’t love anyone except his power and reflection. And maybe Jaxson, because… bros, man.

“I don’t have a better word,” I said to Shadow, “but for what it’s worth, I do love you.”