Reborn (Shadow Beast Shifter, #3)(30)

“What? I’ll do anything.”

Crisscrossing lines? That had to be the wall of sunlight and moon beams I’d seen in my head when I’d been fighting against the memory spell.

“To break this spell, you have to break as well,” he said, ripping the Band-Aid off in one swift yank. “The spell has had enough time to infiltrate into your true self, and to remove it…” No one needed him to finish that sentence.

It really didn’t matter to me. Whatever the consequences, I’d take them. “I can’t live like this anymore, Gaster,” I told him, having no doubts. “Missing all of my memories and life-changing experiences. It’s worth the risk.”

Gaster nodded, and I loved that he didn’t bother to argue with me.

I might not be strong enough, but at least he was giving me a chance.

Sometimes a chance was all anyone ever needed.





17





When Gaster left to find ingredients for his spell, I spent my time pacing, stressing, and filling Sam in on the information she’d missed.

“The Shadow Beast?” she whisper-screamed, before shutting her mouth with a snap. She shook her head. “It’s too insane to even think about. I don’t understand how you lived this life, and it was all taken from you.”

“Gaster was very light on the details when it came to that,” I said, thinking hard enough to hurt myself, “and I’m guessing it’s due to the fact that he wasn’t there for a lot of the big shit that happened. I bet he doesn’t want to give me any false information.”

“Hence why this memory reversal is important enough to risk death, right?”

She seemed unsure. I couldn’t blame her, but like our goblin friend, she didn’t try to talk me out of it. We were all adults capable of making our own decisions, and it was nice that I didn’t have to explain my reasoning to them. They got it. And I sensed that both of them would have made the same decision.

By the time Gaster returned, Sam and I had salvaged twenty books, the mostly undamaged tomes which appeared to be about one of the great fae wars, were stacked neatly nearby. “Oh, thank you,” Gaster cried, hurrying up, his arms full of parchment and jars. “It’s beyond devastating what we’ve lost here. Priceless knowledge from ten worlds and thousands of years.”

No lie, that almost made me throw up. Shadow Beast had a lot to answer for, even if he hadn’t been quite in his right mind when it had happened.

“Now, are you sure?” Gaster checked one last time as he started to spread out his items on the ground.

“I’m ready,” I said with conviction.

I really was because the alternative was walking away from this world without all of the answers I’d sought and returning to Torin and Torma. Hard freaking pass, people.

“I’m going to need you to lie in this circle,” Gaster said, and I realized that in mere seconds, he’d managed to trace out a very complex-looking circle of images and symbols in white chalk. “This is called a spell sphere,” he explained, “and it will protect you and us from whatever”—he cleared his throat—“might emerge in the destruction of this bind on your memories.”

Ominous, but not surprising. Gaster didn’t strike me as a being prone to hysterics, and there was no hiding the genuine worry in his voice as he spoke about this procedure. The spell sphere was an excellent choice.

Sam reached out and grabbed my hand as I moved past. “You’ve got this,” she whispered. “I know whatever is thrown your way, you’ll catch it and throw it back even harder.”

I returned her squeeze. “Thank you.”

Our eyes met, and while she looked worried, the worry was considerably less than the unwavering confidence in her gaze. She thought I could do this, and I was determined to prove her right.

When I was ready, I stretched out in the circle, finding it the perfect size for me. A tingle of power zapped over my skin, fast, like electricity. Gaster continued to sketch images around me, and as he closed in the final sections of the spell sphere, the energy settled across me.

“The sphere is complete,” Gaster said, his voice muffled, like a literal barrier existed between us. “Brace yourself, Mera Callahan.”

I closed my eyes and held on for dear life, digging my fingers into the ground. There was little traction, but I still felt like it was an anchor, keeping me in place. Gaster started to chant, the words growing in volume until they echoed throughout the library.

The chant entered my brain, spinning and building in power and volume. Eventually, when my head felt like it might explode and I was on the brink of screaming, Gaster’s final word chimed over me like a chord.

A chord that grew deeper, my body vibrating with it, as if every one of my cells was bouncing and picking up speed. My body left the ground, the spell sphere the only thing preventing me from drifting off completely.

“Hold on, Mera!” Sam shouted as the shaking got worse. “You’re almost finished.”

Trusting that she knew something I didn’t, I closed my eyes tighter and stopped fearing the unknown. I gave myself into the spell and allowed it to do its job. The vibration increased until my brain was a jumble. I couldn’t remember who I was, where I was, or why I was even there. But I definitely remembered how to scream.