Reborn (Shadow Beast Shifter, #3)(29)

There were many holes in this entire fucking situation, but Sam, like all the others, had just brushed off her confusion. I was the only one who couldn’t stop picking.

“You were brought here by our master, the Shadow Beast,” Gaster continued, bringing my scattered attention back to him.

“The Shadow Beast?” I confirmed, once again parroting him in shock.

A flutter hit me hard in my chest, and it was different to the one I’d felt in Torma. My palm was itching again too, stronger than ever, and in the same moment, my wolf surged to the surface, almost forcing me to shift.

Somehow I managed to wrest her back because we had to stay in this form to ask our questions. “I know the Shadow Beast?”

Gaster nodded. “Oh, yes, very well. You’re friends. Maybe more than friends, I think, even though I wasn’t really privy to the inner workings of your relationship. But I never saw him treat anyone the way he treated you. You’re special, Mera. You changed the beast for the better, and for a powerful being who has spent two thousand years ruling with fear and control, that means something.”

None of this felt real, and yet… I believed him. I felt it deep in my chest, where a huge, gaping hole existed. A hole that Torin had tried to fill, but he’d been a poor substitute for what I’d truly lost.

A mate.

“Shadow.” I tested the name on my tongue, and Inky responded by wrapping around me.

“You called him that,” Gaster said with excitement. “Are you starting to remember?”

I shook my head. “Not really, but it’s familiar. Whatever spell was placed on me, it’s designed to cause me pain whenever I push at its barrier. I have to figure out a way to break through so the memories return. Whoever created this spell, they hoped I would just settle into my new life and never question the plot holes, so to speak.”

Gaster’s laughter rasped out of him again. “They don’t know you at all. You’re forever questioning everything. It’s part of your appeal.”

At this point, I wanted to hug this little guy, but I refrained, just in case it was offensive here.

“So how did my memories get taken? And what happened to the library?”

This was when he sobered, the odd laughter that I already enjoyed hearing disappearing as quickly as his smile. “You had a powerful spell placed on you,” he said, his eyes lowering. “From what I observed, almost everyone who was outside of the library at the time of placing was affected by the spell. Those of us inside these walls were somewhat protected.”

I nodded, encouraging him to continue, even as dread built within me.

“Shadow was outside the library,” he said in a rush, “and even though he was spelled to forget you, he knew something was wrong. When he returned to the library, he was more beast than I’ve ever seen him be. He lost control, destroying the library and Solaris System. He didn’t know what he was looking for, but he knew something important had been stolen from him. He…” Gaster shook his head. “It was catastrophic, and I have no idea who survived the fallout. Everyone is gone, as you can see, and the doorways have been destroyed. Along with any means to get help from the outside world.”

“What is the Solaris System?”

At this point, I’d given up repeating for Sam, but she was good to her word, waiting patiently.

“It was a network of doorways connected to this library.” He waved his hand, letting out a long breath. A sad breath. “This was one of the most beautiful and complete knowledge portals in all the worlds. Knowledge that will now be lost for eternity.”

Okay, if he cried, I would cry because this was heartbreaking.

“There were ten doors, each leading to a different world in our system of worlds. Including my home world of Faerie.”

He repeated a bunch of other names, including Valdor, where vampires of all fucking things lived, and the Shadow Realm, which was where he said I’d been when everyone’s memories had been wiped.

“Was Simone here in the library?” I asked, because that was what made sense with everything else I’d learned.

Gaster nodded, sitting straighter. “She was! She was here when Master Shadow released his beast, and I have no idea what happened after that.”

My heart thumped loudly, and I pressed a hand to my chest to try to keep it together.

“She’s alive,” I decided, still refusing to accept any other possibility.

He nodded. “There’s every chance she made it out alive. Many escaped through the doors before they were ripped away. And she was with Lucien, the Master Vampire of Valdor. If he could have saved her, he would have.”

Tucking my trembling hands under my legs, I fought through the panic. I had no idea what I’d expected to find when I’d started out on this journey. As always, I’d taken it one step at a time, dealing with the information as it came to me, but seriously… Seriously!

This was so much more than any shifters should be expected to accept. “Is there any way to return my memories?” I asked, figuring that would fill in all the blank spots and hopefully remove the low level of panic flooding my veins.

“A very powerful being has cursed you,” Gaster said, leaning in to examine me closely. I prepared myself for the bad news. “And, while it won’t be easy to break through the multiple crisscrossing lines of their power, there might be a way. It’s just…” He trailed off ominously.