Reborn (Shadow Beast Shifter, #3)(3)

My wolf howled, and I didn’t fight her, allowing the change to wash over us. It was slow and painful, which I’d expected since we’d only been shifting for a few months. I mean, it was amazing I could even release her like this at all and not lose control of the Mera side of my brain. It had been that way since the first shift, and I still had no idea why.

Torin acted like it was due to our bond that I’d gotten control so fast, sounding all proud and shit when he said it. About the same way he sounded when he talked about the size of his dick, so it clearly wasn’t that hard to impress him.

My wolf howled again as we ended up on four legs, annoyed that I was once again hating on our mate. In her wolf mind, we just needed to accept our position here and be grateful to have such a strong, powerful mate.

If only the human mind worked the same way.

I knew I was being lied to, and my inability to get to the bottom of it when everyone in Torma was telling me the same story was driving me crazy.

It was a very convenient story, one that none of them ever messed up.

That was probably all a normal person would need to accept it, but for me, it had a “rehearsed” feel to it, and until I figured out the truth, I would trust no one in this pack.

Just like old times, since, apparently, my previous place of pack punching bag was the one part of my past I would never forget.





2





My wolf ran in a frenzy for the first ten minutes, and just as I was feeling a sliver of positivity that she was gaining in energy, she crashed, stumbling forward until we ended up resting beneath a tree. My concern grew, and as I tried to search through her essence for a reason, I had to ask, What’s wrong?

She whimpered, and there was weakness in her soul as I dug deeper into the bond between us. A howl spilled from us, and I wasn’t sure which one of us had initiated it; my wolf soul had never felt more like a separate entity living inside of me as it did today. But truth be told, I’d only known this bond for a week, thanks to my stupid memory loss. Maybe it had always been like this…?

My wolf and I whimpered together, laying our head on crossed front paws, staying in solemn silence for a long time as we searched for peace.

It never came.

Instead, what did come was a huge wolf who was almost as annoying as Sisily. He casually strolled into view, and I had the sense he’d been watching me for some time, like the fucking stalker he was.

Sighing, I got to my feet, but I didn’t shift back, not wanting to be naked with him.

The wolf’s shiny midnight coat was longer than mine, making him almost shaggy in appearance, which didn’t take away from how truly spectacular the new beta of Torma was.

Jaxson Heathcliff.

He used to be my best friend. I hadn’t forgotten the way he’d been my rock for so many years, but that had all changed when my father died. Since then, we’d been enemies.

In the past week, I’d only seen him two times, and neither had ended well as I’d screamed about my memory loss and everyone hiding shit from me. He’d called me insane, and I’d repeatedly thought about ripping his throat out.

Speaking of, my wolf growled, spreading our legs into a better position to attack if needed.

Jaxson’s wolf didn’t care, ignoring my hostility as he bounced forward and nudged me. That was all my wolf needed to shut down our anger, as she nudged him back, wanting to play and frolic with her pack. Me holding us back from pack life was no doubt adding to her melancholy.

I’d never felt this dark and low before, not even during the worst of the pack’s treatment. These depressive episodes were… like their own entity, and no matter how hard I worked to claw my way free, it sucked me under every day. It was even worse than when my father had died because at least then, I’d known why. I’d understood the grief.

Today, I understood nothing.

Jaxson tried to roll me over, and I forced my wolf down, sending another growl his way. The sound ripped from my chest with ferocity, and the beta backed off. I was the alpha-mate, but technically, my power came from Torin’s position in the pack, not from my own wolf. As the beta, Jaxson only obeyed my will because he wanted to, not because I was more powerful.

Kind of bullshit if you asked me.

There was a swirl of magically charged energy in the air, and then Jaxson was on two feet, his black hair slightly tousled, as his dark eyes locked in on me. He stepped forward, his feet bare, along with the rest of the very impressive body attached to them. Tall and lanky, he was ripped in all the right places, but unlike the previous times I’d seen his body, I felt nothing but a cold emptiness inside. I was viewing him like I would Michaelangelos’s statue of David. His form was nice, but it stirred no attraction within me.

With that in mind, I shifted back myself, making sure to keep a decent distance between us. “What do you want, Jaxson?”

He looked taken aback by the abrupt nature of my tone. “It’s after five, babe. You know we have that mixer tonight.”

My foot was swinging toward him before I thought about it, and the guy probably got an eyeful of vagina as I kicked him solidly in the chest. He flew backwards, which was… odd because I wasn’t really strong enough to do that to a male of his size.

“Mera, what the fuck?” he shouted, already on his feet, not remotely injured. “What is wrong with you?”

“I don’t know,” I bit back through gritted teeth. “All I know is that calling me ‘babe’ is pissing me off. Stop doing it.”