Real Men Knit(62)

He let out a sigh. It was better to not think about it. Or at the least drink and forget about it. But how could he do that when all that was in his mind and his space was her? Like right now she was there. Just upstairs cleaning up and preparing to go to the residence, where she would be just down the hall from him for the night. All night.

Jesse’s phone buzzed. Pulling it out of his pocket, he looked down and saw he was right.


You gonna be long down there? WE NEED TO TALK.



Shit. She wasn’t one to give up easily. He put the phone back in his pocket.

The idea of drinking and forgetting now held that much more appeal. His phone vibrated again, and this time it was Ziggy. He and Craig were at Club Dionysus and calling him out.


20 at the door but Big Mike is on it so we’re good.



Jesse stared at the message. A comped cover was tempting, and he did want to go out. Plus, the idea of an evening at home with Kerry so near seemed like more than he could handle.

How’s the energy? He texted as he walked back into the main room of the shop and flipped the overhead lights off. When he did so, the back-kitchen light stayed on and he suddenly heard the sound of Kerry humming in the kitchen as she washed the leftover cups from earlier.

His phone buzzed. It’s a Monday but there are a few prospects here.

Kerry came out of the kitchen then. He couldn’t quite make out her features fully, backlit as she was by the kitchen light, but still his heart did a flip when she looked at him and smiled, her even teeth glowing. Eyes shining even through her glasses.

He looked back at his phone and typed.


Nah I’m good. I’ll pass.



She must have caught his expression because her smile quickly faded. “You okay?” she asked.

“I’m fine.” Of course, he wasn’t, but he wouldn’t tell her that. She’d been shouldering enough of his burden for him. It was time for him to pull his own weight. Besides, just like the women had not-too-stealthily expressed, he didn’t want to do anything that would make her feel like she needed to hang around here any longer than necessary. Once she had her apartment back, even if he still needed her in the shop, he didn’t want her to feel any qualms about leaving.

She shifted her feet and bit at her bottom lip. Jesse felt a pull tighten in his groin.

“Well,” she started. “I’m going to head up. Make something to eat. Are you hungry?”

Jesse shook his head. “I’m good for now. You go on up. I’m going to do a little more around here, but I’ll be up soon.”

He saw Kerry hesitate but still felt relief when she didn’t question him further but headed upstairs. She had sent that text. Maybe she’d changed her mind? He let out a breath and leaned against the kitchen doorjamb. Like a silly kid, he looked up the stairs and wondered how long it would be before she finished eating and headed to bed herself. Just that thought gave him the same pull once again. Shit. He turned, flipped off the kitchen light and picked up his knitting, and then took the side stairs that led to the loft.

Up here in the shadowed light looking down on the shop and the street beyond, there was still a buzz of summer-in-the-city evening activity; everything looked almost peaceful. It was almost as if he could pretend the last few weeks hadn’t happened and his life was still his own. Normal. And he was still him. Loved.

He watched as a young couple passed, and the woman, who seemed to be in her early twenties, paused, pulling her guy’s arm, making him stop to look at the display of yarns still in the window. He could faintly see her expression, alight as she pointed to the little ice-cream cone display. She said something to her man, then he rubbed at her belly and laughed. Jesse smiled. From up here his life almost seemed calm, with the sounds of the street beyond, the cars, the people passing full of hope and possibilities. But could he ever be what they needed?

Jesse turned and flipped on the old record player, and the clear but still haunting voice of Marvin Gaye rang out. He sat down and began to knit. The hat he’d started last night was nearly done. He was just decreasing now; soon he’d close. Jesse let out a long breath, then quickly sucked it back in when he saw orange toes come up beside him.

Orange toes, brown ankles, shapely calves and the most delicious-looking thighs made Jesse suddenly ravenous.

Kerry had changed into gym shorts and a T-shirt, and the whole thing had a sexy effect on her body. She was both sporty innocent and over-the-top hot in a way that had him thinking maybe he wouldn’t be getting up from his current position anytime soon.

“What are you doing here?”

“I thought you were coming up?” There was a question at the end of her comment though no question was posed. She shifted, and he was entranced by the subtle movements of her body. Jesse forced his eyes up. “But you didn’t, so I came to check on you,” Kerry finally said. She looked from him to the record player, then back at him again. “You turned on music and everything, and didn’t even invite me to the party. No fair!”

“I wouldn’t quite call it a party.”

Kerry looked through the shelf and the collection of LPs, chose one and picked up the needle and changed the record. Al Green’s voice now came through. The soul singer was vibrant and full of energy, talking about how he was tired of being alone. True that, Jesse thought as Kerry shook her hips and swung her braids, instantly mesmerizing him. “Now it’s a party,” she said.