Real Men Knit(61)

But still Kerry wanted to go back to the subject of the loan.

“So,” Ms. Diaz said. “You two been keeping busy here?” Seriously, could they go back to the subject of the loan?

Kerry looked to Jesse, and he cleared his throat. “We have. Ma’am.”

Really? That was his answer? Was he really not going to say anything about the store’s debt? She shot him a glare.

He indicated the boxes strewed around the space. “As you can see, the place is in a bit of disarray, but I don’t expect it to be like this for long. I’ll have it set to rights pretty quick.” He looked to Kerry for help, and everyone turned her way.

She let out a breath. Fine, she’d play along. “Yes, we should be up and running in no time. Jesse has some great ideas.”

They all nodded politely, or as politely as they could while quietly judging, but Sister Purnell frowned. “I hope you don’t plan on changing too much. Joy had a right nice flow in here. It was perfect as it was.”

“Oh no, don’t worry,” Kerry said, “it won’t change all that much. Just some updates. Jesse has a great eye. You’ll love it.”

Sister Purnell gave her a hard look. “And what about you?”

Kerry paused. “What about me?”

“What sort of ideas do you have? A young woman like you. Last I remember you were interviewing and still looking for something permanent over there at the center. I hear things may be shifting in that direction.”

Kerry frowned. “Really? I, um, hadn’t heard that.” Damn this Old Knitting Gang. But if Sister Purnell had heard something, there had to be something brewing. She wouldn’t go dropping a bit of news without anything to back it up. Besides, Linda had been in the office today, and she had still been there when Kerry left, in addition to Imara’s father showing up. Maybe she ought to dress up a bit when she went in tomorrow.

“I’m just saying. It’s great you’re helping out here, and Joy would be terribly grateful, but you know she and your mama were thrilled about you finally getting that degree,” Sister Purnell said.

“Not to mention you’re not getting any younger,” Mrs. Hamilton said. “Don’t you think it’s time to really get out there in the world? You’re not going to find any marriageable men holed up here in this shop.”

Kerry shook her head and laughed. “Mrs. Hamilton, it’s not like I’m on the shelf or anywhere near over the hill. Besides, who’s looking for marriage? You don’t have to worry about me in that area.”

Kerry glanced over at Jesse. His face had gone dark, his eyes deepening in coloring along with his expression as he looked at her. She felt her brows pull tight. But then he blinked and smiled at her as he picked up the hat he’d been working on that morning. She noticed it was nearly done. “That’s what I keep telling her,” he said. “But she knows what a hopeless case I am and thankfully insists on helping me out.” He smiled at the women as he took a seat at the head of the table and started to knit. But Kerry could see the tension in his shoulders. She noticed how he threw his yarn. None of his movements were as easygoing or nearly as smooth as they had been that morning before she’d left for work. He looked at her once again. “You can rest assured, ladies, that as soon as we’re on our feet, I’ll be sure to send our Kerry Girl packing and out into the world where she belongs.”



* * *





Jesse couldn’t get the words of the Old Knitting Gang out of his mind that night. He did his best to smile, be congenial and polite, do all the things that Mama Joy would have wanted. As he moved more boxes to the back of the storage area, he hummed to himself and tried his best to drown out their voices. Not do his old negative self-talk. He could practically hear Mama Joy in his ear shouting over his shoulder. “Come on, Jes, you gonna let the words define you, or are you going to define yourself?” She’d drilled that into him again and again over the years, so much so that he’d almost gotten this close to believing her. Maybe if she’d held on just a little bit longer, he would have.

He put the box down and looked around the storage area that was quickly becoming its own problem. Maybe if he’d held on to her a little longer, he’d have actually started to live the words. But it was too late now. The fact remained that Kerry did have a chance to live the words and he was holding her back.

The Old Lady Gang didn’t happen there by chance today. Jesse had no doubt they’d planned to come there after his encounter with Sister Purnell at the bodega. No, he didn’t doubt they did have some concern for him. And that concern was serious. The fact that they knew about the loan was a blow. How they knew was anybody’s guess. Did Mama Joy tell them, or was it that their neighborhood spy net was more organized than he thought?

The worst of it though was the way they bomb-dropped it right in front of Kerry. He saw her face and hated seeing the hurt in her eyes as she put the pieces together. Maybe he should have told her about the loan right away, but why burden her with more than he already had? It wasn’t fair as it was. That much was clear. Just as it was clear the way the Old Knitting Gang was closing ranks and putting up a pretty solid line of defense around Kerry to make sure she had some line of protection in the midst of the lion’s den.

They were right though—Kerry needed to think about her future beyond the shop. Settling down, and settling down with someone worth settling down with. A corporate type, not a fuck-’em-and-leave-’em, no-ambition screwup, can’t-be-relied-on type like him.