Real Men Knit(12)

Shit. Not the way Jesse was hoping.

“None of us really know anything about the shop or the day-to-day running of it. This was Ma Joy’s domain,” Lucas said, using the sweet endearment that the four of them sometimes called her, before he continued, “and pretty much just our pass-through on the way upstairs to our living quarters.”

“You mean our home?” Jesse countered, and watched as Lucas’s jaw tightened. “You know as well as I do that this place has been way more than just a pass-through. And even though you’re at the firehouse most nights now, you still pass through here plenty. We all do.” Jesse turned toward Damian. “You included, whether you want to admit it or not. It’s not like you totally gave up your room-slash-closet. But using it as just storage space, I’m sure, makes giving it up easy for you.”

Damian glared. “Of course giving up our home isn’t easy. How can it be an easy decision?” For a moment Jesse thought he may have seen a flash of pain come across Damian’s features. “But how can it be considered our home without her?” They all fell silent and the air went impossibly still. Damian shook his head. “No, it’s too much. And I don’t think you can handle it. She could barely handle it. You would be in for some really hard work, pretty much for the first time in your life. And we each have our own lives. We can’t be here to bail you out when you fuck it up.”

Jesse clenched his fists. “I’m not going to fuck it up.”

“How do you know?” Damian countered. “Do you know how many businesses fail in a year?”

“But this is an established business with a built-in clientele and reputation.”

“And I’m coming to you all now saying we could sell and have cash in hand. There are already buyers who have been getting in touch with me,” Damian countered.

Jesse shook his head. “Really? It’s been one day since the funeral and you expect us to believe that? You really are the worst. Are they getting in touch with you or are you getting in touch with them?”

Damian glared at him. “Believe what you want. You will anyway. You’ve always been a dreamer and in your own head. Mama Joy went along and fed into that, but it’s time for it to stop. Buyers have been getting in touch with me and Mama Joy for years. And like back then, I wouldn’t entertain them, because doing so would feel like betraying Ma by turning my back on you. So how about you shut up and listen for once.”

“Okay, this is getting a little off topic, and we need to calm down,” Noah said by way of cooling the room.

Jesse breathed deeply. Noah was right, and he knew he wouldn’t get anywhere with Damian. He also knew he had to get it together and get ahold of himself. It was time to change tactics. Letting go and overplaying his hand would do him no good. So instead he focused and mentally centered himself before standing.

“Come on, Noah,” he said changing plays and switching brothers. Noah thought differently than Damian and Lucas. He always had, though he traveled a lot now as a professional backup dancer and was about to go on tour again. He’d only recently gone in on a sublet, and Jesse knew he didn’t want to lose the assurance their home here gave him. Just like his brothers, Noah still kept the bulk of his memories stored in the fourth-floor space he shared with Lucas. Looking into Noah’s eyes, Jesse could see how torn he was. If Jesse had any real shot, it was probably through getting Noah on his side.

“Noah, you get what I’m talking about. You know how important the shop—this space and our home is.” He decided to add a little hard reality to the emotional side of things. “Not to mention, you’re only subletting now. You”—he looked at Damian and Lucas then—“as well as all of us know that there are no guarantees in life. Your tour will be over pretty quickly. Apartments, rents and landlords are unstable as shit. Do we really want to give up on our home so easily?”

There was a satisfying grunt from the Damian corner of the shop with that one, and Jesse continued his campaign on Noah.

“Hell, half your skill, talent and control you learned from Mama Joy here knitting.”

Noah shrugged. “I wouldn’t go that far. I do have some talent of my own.”

“Of course you do, but you were able to focus it because of what you got through her. That you can’t deny. Now, how can we just let what she built go so easily?” Jesse watched as shame clouded over Noah’s face. He afforded himself a breath of relief as he looked at each of his brothers. “We all learned valuable lessons from Mama Joy in this very room, and everything she taught us made us who we are. It helped center me and fixed the focus problems that I had in school.”

“Yeah, too bad it never helped focus you on any sort of career path,” Damian quickly countered, his voice full of snark.

Jesse sighed. “Seriously, do you list ‘professional shithead’ on your Tinder profile? Because if not, you could be sued for false advertising.”

“How about I come over there and show you just how much of a shithead I can be?” Damian snapped back.

Lucas stepped between the two of them. “Enough. We don’t have time for this. Decisions need to be made.” He looked at Jesse. “Listen, Jes, I get what you’re saying. And keeping the shop open, I know, would mean a lot to Mama Joy. But I really don’t see any way that can be done. Noah’s got his tour, Damian’s got his work, and I’ve got my schedule at the firehouse.”