Real Fake Love (Copper Valley Fireballs #2)(43)

Luca: Wait. WHAT? Who the FUCK are you sexting with? Jesus. HOW MANY MEN ARE TEACHING YOU TO NOT FALL IN LOVE?



Henri: I’m not sexting! THAT WAS FOR A BOOK!



Henri: And it’s not published yet.



Henri: And it’s not mine, so please, PLEASE don’t share that. With anyone. My friend Dorothea had all these dangling modifiers and misplaced commas so I was helping her smooth out her sentence and I copy-pasted it to the wrong person on my contact list. OMG. I’m going to die. I’m going to die of embarrassment and then Dogzilla will have no one to change her costumes.



Luca: That was from a book?



Henri: YES. My friend Dorothea. She writes as Satin Knight. You met her the other day. She asked Cooper to take his shirt off.



Luca: GRANNY ROMANCE? GRANNY ROMANCE WROTE THAT?



Henri: She’s seventy, not dead, Luca. Don’t judge a woman on her wrinkles. It’s not very nice.



Luca: I’m not judging. I’m surprised. YOU SENT ME A BLOW JOB. Of fucking course I’m surprised.



Henri: Clearly, it’s a good thing your Nonna’s not looking over your shoulder.



Luca: gif of a sexy older woman



Henri: Oh my gosh, tell me that’s not what you see when you think of your Nonna.



Luca: I was making a joke about older women being sexy.



Henri: gif of a hot actor from a space cowboy TV show trying to say something to stop someone from being an idiot



Luca: ?



Henri: My last fiancé left me for an older woman. You know, your mother? That wasn’t a very good joke.



Henri: Probably you should stick to playing baseball. Good game, by the way. And thank you for the hat. It was nice to not have to worry about birds attacking me all through the game. But you can have it back. I don’t want the team to be short a hat. I can buy one at the store like a normal fan.



Luca: The team has plenty of hats.



Henri: And bats? And cats? And mats? And pats?



Henri: Sorry. Ignore me. I’m a dork.



Luca: You’re not a dork.



Henri: I am, and I accept that about myself. But thank you for being kind enough to suggest I’m not if “dork” is an insult where you come from. smiley emoji



Luca: You enjoyed the game?



Henri: Yes! So much. And I got a jersey and ate too much popcorn and had the best time ever with Mackenzie. She’s so funny. Did you know she and Brooks are getting married at Duggan Field? That’s so sweet that she’s such a big fan and she’s getting to have her wedding at the ballpark. And so great that she’s not letting any superstitions stop her from her dream either. She and Brooks are so adorable.



Luca: Not as adorable as me and Brooks. selfie picture with Brooks



Henri: Oh my gosh! Your pajamas! Dogzilla needs a pair. Dogzilla definitely needs a pair.



Luca: Who named your cat?



Henri: Confucius.



Luca: Your…made-up character?



Henri: He’s very real in my head. And no, I don’t need to see a therapist. This is normal for writers.



Henri: But. For real, how Dogzilla got her name… One day, I was driving along and I saw this dead cat in the middle of the road, so I stopped, because it deserved to have a proper burial, except it wasn’t dead. It was Dogzilla, and she was sleeping in the middle of the road. I took her to the vet, and it turned out she was microchipped, but her last owner died, and nobody knew it until Dogzilla and the vet and I tried to track her down.



Luca: Jesus on mozzarella.



Henri: Okay, that was all a story. giggling emoji Sorry. I actually got her at a shelter after my third wedding didn’t happen. I went in for a dog and came out with Dogzilla because we made eye contact and I knew it was right. And Confucius did name her. He was all up in my head like, This cat is so lazy, it would be ironically beautiful to name her Dogzilla. And so I did.



Luca: You are a very unique woman.



Henri: I know. It takes one of a kind to get dumped by this many fiancés.



Luca: Why do you keep trying?



Henri: I’m not. Remember?



Luca: But you did. For five times.



Henri: Well…if a person can’t believe in the simple purity of love, what can they believe in? Don’t get me wrong—I still don’t want to get engaged again, or plan a wedding again, and I know I need to learn the difference between “I love you as a person” and “I love you enough to want to spend the rest of my life with you,” but don’t we all want someone to love us?



Luca: Baseball loves me.



Henri: For today. What happens in ten years?



Luca: I was making a joke.



Henri: I think you’re hiding because it’s easier to protect yourself than to risk being hurt again. And you have a great career and great teammates and a great life already, so it’s easier to enjoy that than to wonder if things could be even better, or to think about what life will be like when you’re too old to play anymore.