Rapid Falls(74)

I keep staring at the water as I hear him unscrew the cap of the flask and take a long drink. I can’t look at this river without feeling cold, even when the sun is on my shoulders.

He has waited so long to say these words. Maybe he thought he would never have to say them at all. He starts speaking again, but his voice is so quiet I can barely hear him over the whisper of the river.

“The whole town had turned against her. I needed to keep one of you out of prison. I thought it would be enough to save her. I couldn’t prove what you did, and I knew just saying it out loud would tear us all apart. Especially Anna. I thought she could survive prison better than she could survive knowing what you did to him. And to her. I thought you would let it go. After you took Jesse away from her.” My dad reaches into the pocket of his light jacket. “I was wrong. I’ve always been wrong.”

He sounds so tired.

“I can’t prove anything, Cara. But proof isn’t the same as knowing. I can’t imagine you’d ever want to come back here.” He stands up.

“I found another thing when I went through that backpack. You can take this so you don’t forget.”

He stands beside me and slips something cold and small into my hand. I close my palm around it without looking down. He opens the lid of Anna’s urn, and in one sweeping arc he spills her remains into the river. Her ashes lift in the air and fall like gray rain. I stare at the water as my dad turns back up the trail. I wait until I can’t hear his footsteps anymore before I open my hand.

It is the locket my dad gave me on the day of the prom. I pop it open, and my eyes scan the words cut into the metal. JUNE 24, 1997. The date of my graduation. The anniversary of Jesse’s death. Underneath, there is a new line of writing. The etching is messy, done by an unpracticed hand.

SEPTEMBER 15, 2016. The date of Anna’s death. The locket seems to burn in my palm, so I hurl it straight into the icy river. It barely breaks the surface of the water before it sinks. I open the lid of my box and send Anna’s ashes into the water right behind it. It’s over. I turn my back on the river and walk up the steep trail.